What kind of place should I choose to meet up with a guy I like?

[Anonymous]

I’m meeting up with a guy this Sunday night with a guy I like. We had been romantically intimate for a short while recently but I friendzoned him because he just got out of a relationship and I didn’t want to be a rebound.

We’ve been on and off texting the last month and a half, not as consistently as before though.

Im going through an emotionally challenging time and he keeps asking if I need anything. I suggested we meet so we can talk.

Most of our previous interactions were on Fridays and Saturdays over booze and hooking up. He suggested we meet on Sunday evening. Maybe he’s trying to respect my boundaries? I’m not really sure.

I don’t even know if he has a girlfriend now or is seeing someone else.

But, what kind of place should I choose for our meet up? I do like him a lot but I don’t know what his situation is.

Should I go for something more casual or more romantic?

[Truthatanycost]

You should invite wisdom into your life and instead, turn away from such a meeting that will only result in wasted time. What a lot of women do not realize is that as they continue on such a roller-coaster, their time for something truly meaningful is slipping away forever. In anything you wish to do in life, ask first whether it is wise. Thus the kind of place you should choose to meet a guy like that is no place...

[Billlewis]

How about a coffee shop that's not too far from where you live?

[Asker]

Hi! Great idea!! The only thing is it’s Sunday night and most things close early here 😞

[Billlewis]

You're welcome! If you start seeing him regularly, I'd love to hear about how it's progressing.

[Asker]

Will do! Do you think if he had a girlfriend or was seeing someone that he’d check up in me to see how I’m doing and agree to meet me in person? He said he’s never cheated on any girlfriend.

[Billlewis]

That's a tough one to answer. I have a few questions that might help me give you an answer.
-- how long were you seeing him last time, and how long has it been since you've seen him?
-- has he had a girlfriend during the time you've known him, to your knowledge?
-- what was his demeanor like when you were talking to him recently?
As we all know, guys will often pursue a woman simply because they're hoping for some easy sex; hopefully that's not what he's trying to do, unless that's what you want, as well.

[Asker]

We were only seeing each other for like two weeks. Our relationship became sexually very quickly, tons of physical chemistry.

I’m not sure if he’s had a girlfriend during the time I’ve know him but he was in dating apps and going on dates.

We last saw each other at a group event a few weeks ago. He texted me the next day saying it was great to see me.

I think it’s odd he chose Sunday evening to meet though.

[Billlewis]

You could try asking him if he's available on a different day, and see how he responds. If he's seeing someone else, he may have difficulty seeing you on another day. Just a thought.

[Asker]

Yea, someone else suggested that too. Someone else also said that I was the one who suggested we talk and not him. 😢 He didn’t initiate it.

[Billlewis]

Also, how old is he, and does he live far from you? If you know where he lives, where he works and how long it takes him to go through his daily routine, it will be harder for him to be seeing another woman and also be seeing you. Hope that helps.

[Asker]

He’s 38, works as a scientist and has a somewhat normal Monday through Friday work schedule. We live about 10 minutes away from each other.

[Billlewis]

I see. Based on what you've told me so far, he sounds okay. I mean, I know we often tend to fall for stereotypes, but a 38 year old scientist doesn't seem like a guy who's going to try to be a player.

[Asker]

Haha true! Although along with being highly intellectual he’s also quite handsome.

He does seem eager to meet up with me and genuinely cares about my well being (maybe, we’ll see) as I recently went through something traumatic.

He texted me a few times to see if I needed anything, so I finally said yes because I wanted to see him 😊.

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, he honestly sounds like a keeper; I'm hoping that you're successful in having a meaningful relationship with him:)

[Asker]

Thank you 😊 Me too! Fingers crossed 🤞

[Asker]

I finally found a coffee shop/Hookah lounge in my neighborhood that closes later. I sent him the website and he thinks it looks cool!

[Billlewis]

That's wonderful! I'm so excited for you, and I'd love it if you could keep me informed on how everything's going!

[Asker]

I will definitely! My brain keeps going in circles though. I’m not sure why he couldn’t meet Friday or Saturday (today) and why he chose Sunday evening. I’m trying to be positive.

[Billlewis]

Thank you so much, you're welcome to message me here, or we can figure something else out if you prefer.

[Asker]

Ok great! I’ll message you, thank you.

[Asker]

I’m not sure I can be sure I asked this question anonymously

[Billlewis]

Okay!

[Asker]

I just followed you.

[Billlewis]

Does that mean I can message you? I don't know if I can because you're anonymous.

[Asker]

I just messaged you because we follow each other now.

[Anonymous]

Maybe a cafe, I think it would be odd to jump straight to a romantic place. But you know the relationship better than I do so ultimately do what you feel is right.

[Asker]

I was thinking a cafe too but I couldn’t find one open on Sunday night.

[Opinion Owner]

Do you have any casual restaurants near you? Like a pizza place or burger place, something like that?

[Asker]

I’ll check on that, thank you. He has a special diet but that may work.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome. The majority of those restaurants cater to all kinds of diets now so hopefully it’ll work. Good luck 🙂

[Anonymous]

Girl don’t stress about this…let him be the man and do the job of picking the place and making reservations. You just go with the flow.

[Asker]

Usually he’ll suggest “your place” 😆 But this time he’s letting me choose 😊

[Asker]

He also said what’s most convenient for me.

[Opinion Owner]

😮😮 usually he’ll suggest “your place”?
Not even take you somewhere nice like a restaurant? I don’t know lol but I’d want a guy to at least put some effort into the relationship.. it looks like he’s just taking the easier route. Do you feel he is a genuine guy? Is your gut suggesting maybe he’s using you?

[Asker]

I don’t even know to be honest 😞

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm I don’t know honestly.

After I read how your previous interactions with him were for “booze” and “hook-ups” he doesn’t seem like a relationship-worthy man. He’s simply using you for the hook-ups, that’s why he kept suggesting to meet at “your place”…. to hook up basically.

But I don’t know, I would say pick somewhere casual to meet and talk to him.

But my gut is telling me he’s not worth wasting your time on.