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Time. Taking time to get to know someone and not just using your current feelings to dictate things
Trial and error. As you learn about yourself, and take lessons from failed situations, you apply that knowledge going forward. For example, if things end with a guy who was manipulative and selfish, I’d try making sure the next guy doesn’t have those qualities/traits.
Ultimately, it comes down to kids, you could also say, marriage as well, but, in the long run, it's kids.
If you want them, and he doesn't, you can't force him to, and you'll need to move on, vice versa. Forced birthing, is rape, republicans