Friends with benefits asked me on a date after a tried breaking things off?

[justafoolisall]

I couldn’t have been more clear and told him to carry on perusing the girl he already is. He’s mentioned the girl is “out of his league” and basically he just wants to carry on seeing me for a shag instead. However, I know he’s going to carry on and I don’t think it’s me anymore. He’s lied before about seeing others so isn’t trust worthy and I just feel we’re keeping each other stagnant.

there’s just not much point, plus we haven’t seen each other in the best part of 6 months anyway.

I feel he’s just asking me on a date because he wants to keep me around longer and thinks I’ve got feelings. Opinions?

[Anonymous]

Just end it she rejected him and he wants to look cool!

Not worth the effort ghost him!

That or use your strap on to show him what a real good time is

[justafoolisall]

Haha getting anywhere near his asshole is a challenge so I’ll have to be quick!

[Opinion Owner]

Be very quick and give him what he deserves

[BarryLiverstone]

He’s asking you on the date to have sex. He wants to keep you around as he’s not connecting with the other girl.


Do you have feelings for him?

[justafoolisall]

The issue is I would have slight feelings if I went back to carrying on but we’ve both confessed before about feelings in the past. I’ve come to the point where even if he wants to date then I don’t as I just don’t think it will work & I won’t trust him.

I feel he’s just asking me on a date as a last ditch effort of keeping me on the back burner

[BarryLiverstone]

You are right then. He sees you as a source of sex and some company and if he’s single doesn’t want you to go away.

[justafoolisall]

I’ve never had to encourage someone to go away before so telling him to is hard and he’s not wanting to accept it. Any ideas of a way of wording it that he can’t wiggle out of and accept without sounding horrid?

[BarryLiverstone]

But if you value his friendship you can clarify your boundaries that he’s just a friend. If you tell him no more sex and even kissing.. then it’s ok to have a “date” in the sense you go out and do an activity together.

Have you let him know you don’t want any more sexual contact?

[justafoolisall]

I said I didn’t a week ago and told him to just carry on with the girl he was texting. Today he pops up asking to sext & see each other wed. So I tell him again to just carry on and it spiralled to be trying to just cut it off. He doesn’t seem to take anything I say seriously and thinks I’ll come around if he give me time or just keeps asking the same thing.

In the past yes this works extremely well on me as I hate saying no and give in but I’m fairly sure I’ve made my mind up and once I’ve done that I can’t go back.

He just refuses to accept what I say and it’s infuriating. I’d like to be friends still tho but I know he’d still try and think that he will get sex again, as this has happened before.. but not like this

[BarryLiverstone]

Unfortunately you have shown him a pattern and he’s using that to his advantage. It may be a difference between guys and girls but the pattern seems to be girls will say no more sexual contact and a month later they slip up and get tempted again. If you do value the friendship then let him know you need a few months of space to focus on yourself and you will reach back out to him in Oct or nov. see if he respects your decision and that will tell you his sincerity in wanting a friendship