My friend asked me to be friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

my guy friend asked me to be friends with benefits.. this means he never planned on or even plans on being friends w me huh? never saw me as a friend?

[Finchie40]

He definitely considers you a friend , he just wants to add the benefits part as well , FWB’s isn’t a bad thing , if you both are on the same exact page with things and you both agree on things together. , FWB’s is a good thing , for a guy and girl that don’t want to rush into a committed relationship right away , it kind of eliminates some of the strings that a committed relationship has. I been in a few FWB’s relationships with girls’ that we both were on the same exact page with things, we could only have sex together but we were open to dating other people , if we decided to have sex with someone else we both agreed we would end the benefits part and just remain friends , As long as you are both honest with each other, then more than likely you both won’t end up hating each other , sometimes one of you , will start having deeper feelings for the other , and that’s ok , just as long as you don’t wait to long to decide what you really want , My one FWB’s waited too long to tell me how she truly felt about me by the time she was ready to tell me I already met someone else

[David94358]

How long have you been friends before he asked you?

[Asker]

2019

[David94358]

That's playing the really LONG game to pretend to be friends with you for 5 years before asking you to be friends with benefits..
Which is obviously not the case. He is your friend has always been but he finds you attractive so wanted to find out if you would be more then just friends.

Are you open to a friends with benefits situation or even dating him?

[Asker]

no i don’t want to be friends with benefits. and i think he knows that because now he only talks to me if he can make the content of the convo sexual. if not i don’t hear from him anymore

[David94358]

Would you be open to full on boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him? Or just keep it friends is all you want?

[Asker]

and i can tell im not his type because he started to treat me like a piece of meat. like, the girls i watched him purse when we were friends never got this type of treatment

[David94358]

If you weren't his type he wouldn't want to have sex with you

[Asker]

really? i thought men could sleep w anything

[David94358]

As a one night stand sure you could sleep with someone you just find sort of attractive if you have been in a dry spell for a while.. but he wants continued sex.. so yes he finds you attractive

[Asker]

oh wow. i never thought of that. but if that’s the case why doesn’t he pursue me as a girlfriend? he just lusts after me a lot

[David94358]

How old are you both?

[Asker]

22 him. 24 me

[David94358]

So still somewhat young. It's possible he has had some controlling girlfriend in the past maybe, that liked to monopolize all his time so he is associating having a girlfriend with that dynamic. He might like you as a friend and he obviously finds you attractive, but he might not want a full relationship because he also values his time doing other things.

This is something you can talk to him about, are you open to dating him? Do you find him attractive enough to have sex with?

[Asker]

no. i never been w a man yet

[David94358]

Well if you have no interest in a sexual relationship then it will never work obviously for friends with benefits or dating.

[Asker]

what do u think i should do? cut him off? he only bothers me about sexual stuff now

[David94358]

Unless you are willing to move forward into a more adult relationship with dating which means having a sexual relationship with him then you are going to have to cut him off.

This is the problem with men and women as friends, once one of you catch feelings then it's about impossible to go back to the platonic feelings that the friendship started with.

So this is a decision you are going to have to make.. take it to the next step.. or cut ties

[Asker]

ok. thank you for your help. i appreciate you

[David94358]

Glad to help and good luck with whatever decision you make

[Asker]

hey ! you were right. there was no “going back to friends” i said no and he just left. you were right ! thanks for ur help

[David94358]

Glad I could help, and sorry you lost a friend, unfortunately that happens a lot.

[didichi]

Friends with benefits to me is not good and toxic. He doesn’t want to commit to have a relationship with you. He finds you attractive but he just wants the sex not the friendship since he turns the conversation sexually all the time. Friends with benefits can also mean you guys can go have sex with other people as well since you both aren’t in a relationship and that’s fucked up. I don’t understand why people do this, they won’t have a good future. I’d say drop him because mfs like that won’t change. I’ve been through the same situation, everytime he comes back to me he think I’ll accept him having sex with me. Stand your ground and be confident. You’re so much better than him and you can find someone else who can respect you.

[SueShe]

Looks like his genitals do the talking when he is with you.

You are right, he never planned, nor does he plan to see you as something else than relief for his excess of testosterone.

A great number of boys in that age group cannot control themselves and prefer to ruin potential good platonic friendships with fornication rather than to keep friendships alive. It is sad that in today's world, this is no longer possible.

It is also sad that those very same guys will be the ones to discard you after use because you are no longer a novelty and you ceased to attract them.

[Asker]

that’s the vibes i get from him too. he doesn’t have conversations w me anymore unless it’s has some sort of sexual content.

[steveusna]

If the guy friend looked like Chad or Tyrone, the woman friend would be all in for friends with benefits. This has nothing to do with self control or ruining platonic friendship with fornication. It is simply a guy who is viewed as beta by the woman he wants to have sex with. He should end the friendship and move on to women that will respect him.

[mobiusforniner]

I suppose it's fine if as long as you're okay with being viewed as a piece of meat. Imagine being called up in the middle of the night for a mindless pounding and subsequently abandoned cold turkey. Then repeat whenever he needs a nut dump.

For a man to have the audacity to approach you with this request shows he doesn't value your person.

I believe you have more self respect than that.

[Singing_Hollow]

No, remember the more guys you sleep with the more you devalue yourself. Sex also complicates friendships and tbh very very few guys (super uncommon) can actually be friends with a girl without some sexual tension, its apart of a mans natural way. If he doesn't want to be friends without the benefits then he never was a friend in the first place and you are just a way for him to get his "tip" wet without paying for it or committing to anything.

[poshspice123]

If you feel you can have sex with him and enjoy, you can try it out.
But just have very clear communication about everything.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t consider you as a friend. It just means he also finds you attractive (but may or may not want a relationship with you)

[winetime]

Girl, you deserve friends who support you. Not people who want to dive in your pants. I'm sorry, that's so shite.

[dna10772]

yes said it ! he have seen u as an object rather than a friend. many people have asnwered it so , my point to tell is , just stay away from him or if possible formally break the friendship (for u not for him it is ) with him , it'll be good for future times so he won't mess with u again

[sage2021]

Nope you weren't a friend like a friend is.
It's from an old movie 🍿 from the '90's titled Friends With Benefits.
Actually it's about just having sex with you and you having sex with him and that's really all it is.

[Asker]

so i was a bad friend?

[sage2021]

@Asker
It's not a normal kind of friendship. In fact you can leave the word friends out and just keep the benefit part, which is sex.
I don't know how else to say it.
You don't want me to tell you he just used you for sex, but that really all it is. He's not emotionally invested in feelings with you except for his own pleasure.
Maybe you should Google what friends with benefits means ok.
Then you'll probably understand it better.
🌹

[MrDaveAPSI]

He's ALREADY friends with you, lol. That's why it's called FRIENDS with benefits, however, it shows he disrespects you too

If I were you, I'd drop him

[Anonymous]

I would block him entirely. Seems like an asshole looking for free sex. Notice he didn't propose "dating" you, he just wants to fuck.

[snapkingmatt]

No, it means he thinks you're hot. He wants to bang you and still be friends. He just doesn't want a relationship and he doesn't want to be exclusive. So you can keep banging other guys too.

[DreamLife7]

That's fucked up. He doesn't even see you as good enough to be a girlfriend. He's basically saying you're ugly

[molonski2]

Id argue the opposite , that he sees you as a very special friend.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'd take it as a compliment if the show was on the other foot, unless she was unattractive to me or slept around germs vomits 🤢🤮😋

[Daniela1982]

And what is your stand on this? Do you want the same or not?

[McKellar]

Sounds like a player, and making you like a side chick.

[laly520]

he is another basic jerk looking for sex

[steveusna]

Is there a finite supply of sex that women can offer?

[laly520]

wym?

[Asker]

they are a troll.. ignore him

[laly520]

trolls everywhere
yikes

[Juxtapose]

I think he's trying to say that sex is not infinite in supply and women hold the supply so can you blame men for searching?

[Juxtapose]

My thoughts on his words, keep in mind those are not my thoughts necessarily

[Anonymous]

Yes he plans on being friends with you, he is friends with you now, he just wants to add sex to that without being your boyfriend.

[JayBones]

Tell him your health benefits, social security, Medicare is what it costs to lay on your back and let him pound your hiles. for 3 minutes.

[KrakenAttackin]

Your generation brings this shit on yourselves.

[Jmmmfi4]

NO STRAIGHT GUY WANTS TO BE JUST FRIENDS... PERIOD

[KrakenAttackin]

@Jmmmfi4 Exactly right, I don't get why girls don't get this.

[Jmmmfi4]

@KrakenAttackin BEATS ME

[steveusna]

@KrakenAttackin Girls know it. Girls want to be surrounded by beta simps who are never going to taste her pussy while she will always let chad pick her up and smash her. Chad is friends with benefits. Beta simps are jerks for talking about sex.

[KrakenAttackin]

@steveusna True enough.

[Juxtapose]

I have female friends that are cool to hang around but I know would just be awful for romantic or sexual relationship. Why is that so hard to grasp?

[Juxtapose]

*relationships

[jahaims]

FYI 99% of any girls "guy friends " will fuck them if the opportunity comes up

[steveusna]

A stiff prick has no conscience.

[nawtee_me]

Or he wants to take the friendship a little farther

[Jerre]

I have lots of FWBs and am good friends with all of them.

[i_am_alexander]

How can he had dare to ask you like this. And i don't have dare to say 'hello' to girls.

[spartan55]

Doesn't mean any of that.

[Asker]

? explain

[spartan55]

You think he had some strict plan about being your friends with benefits from the beginning? That's absurd. He decided to try to be your friends with benefits. Maybe he thinks you're a lousy friend.

[Wise4myage]

Yes he is only interested in sex.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Congratulations he doesn't respect you.

[LiamS95]

Typical in today's society but very sad.

[LiamS95]

If you follow me and want someone for a friendly chat from to time to time then I'm your guy.

[austinbooth]

I believe he’s interested in you

[Kristierose]

Go for it