How to know if he actually like me or his real intention?

[Anonymous]

We were talking about something related to relationship in general, to which i jokingly told him, “but what if that happen to u”, something related to a girlfriend do something to a boyfriend. To my surprise, he answer “but i won't be looking for any relationship right now. Maybe once i get a stable job or after i graduate”.. Somehow, that statement make me questioning our current situation. Because we have been on a ‘date’ for few times. He did physical touch (not sexually) with me a lot which he never did to others, as per my observed. All those typical sign like eye contact, body language, etc indicates that he might have interest in me, but his statement mentioned just now doesn't really align with his current action.

[_Maya_]

The only way to really know is to ask him and talk to him about it. I can't know what he means by the signals he gives on dates. Maybe he just means that while he is willing to date he doesn't want to get in a committed relationship at the moment until he feels more secure with his life. I totally get that. Relationships are work and you want to go into one thinking you have your own life figured out before you go adding another person to it.

[Asker]

Should i just move on then? I dont mind waiting if he really want to make it serious once he's stable, but if he's actually have no interest at all, it would waste my time waiting for nothing, ya know…

[_Maya_]

I know what you mean. I guess it is a question of how far away he is from being "stable". I think it is a legit thing for him to want. I doubt very much he has no interest or he wouldn't waste his time dating.

[anonguy2000]

Maybe he is setting the expectation that he would be ok with a friends with benefits situation but he isn't gonna get serious

[Asker]

Im being stupid then because im always down with all his plan.. even know, he still insist on next ‘date’.. i dont want to involve with friends with benefits

[anonguy2000]

I mean it sounds like he is telling you he doesn't want a relationship right now. All you can go on is his words and what he tells you. I wouldn't pursue him in the "hopes" that he will change later like he says. I would go with what he is saying now

[Avicenna]

It often is not obvious right away. You have to interpret actions, but even that is not always foolproof.

[strateguy632]

he clearly is attracted to you, and still he is deciding to delay for mind ideas and practical reasons.

[In_Trance]

Ask him