Why do guys that have feelings for a person and the other person returns their feelings not want to take the next step in forming a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Is commitment scary? I’ve had a guy interested and says he loves me and all but won’t actually be in a relationship with me. I felt used. I understand the whole “not ready” aspects, but he would act like he was so it through me off. It didn’t help that I had to figure out he’s not ready cause he never told me upfront.

Updates

+1 y

He does want a relationship with me but he’s simply not ready.

[HollyK21]

Finding someone attractive doesn’t always translate to being interested in dating them as opposed to just stringing them along for a casual dynamic. A situationship. Many men are terrified of relationships, they don’t want to invest, risk getting hurt again, prioritize a woman, and everything else that comes with commitment.


The right woman will eventually pop up and change everything, but in the in-between time, they’re going to have fun with whatever woman is willing to accept their boundaries/rules, even when it compromises their own. From my perspective, I’d never go as far as to express love for any man who isn’t my my partner. It takes a while for genuine love to grow and at that point I’ve already wasted more than enough time with someone who clearly isn’t afraid of losing me and can’t possibly love me back if they won’t give me a title.

[HollyK21]

If he wanted to be in a relationship with you, he would GET ready, and that notion can be hard for some women to understand when they’ve never experienced a really good man, but it’s true. He would not even risk the possibility of losing you, whether it’s to someone else or you leaving him entirely. What you’re showing him right now is that no matter what he does or says, you will stick around, so he’s taking advantage of your loyalty and dragging his feet.

[serious]

Well, yes it does scare many guys when they think of commitment.

[spartan55]

He became 'not ready' when he figured out he didn't like you.

[Anonymous]

You should talk to each other more about it