How to make a guy open up emotionally?

[Reem12345reem]

Im trying to make it comfortable for him to open up to me and talk about his emotions more , what should I do exactly? I like him and I want to know him on a deeper level , even as friends , and Im the right person for that bc don't judge people

• what questions should i ask him?
• what should i say that make him know that it's a safe place with me?

[Paul_in_Indy]

I think the first thing to work on is probably to recognize when he opens up, hear him, and accept what he’s shared. I observe that many women don’t recognize a man’s emotional openess; because it doesn’t look/sound like female emotional vulnerability or they don’t think he is sharing enough. Men experience emotions differently, process them differently, and have very different standards for sharing them.

If he says, “that [experience we just had ] makes me miss my Grandpa” and stares off into space for ten seconds, accept that. Maybe, put your hand on his arm. Be thankful. Don’t embarrass him.

Don’t say, “tell me more about that! open up! what are you feeling! I wish you would share!” or hug him and tel him how happy you are he is sharing with you and that it’s OK to cry, etc.

That WAS what he was feeling. There isn’t “more.” He DID share with you. He isn’t “holding back.” The understanding that he wants is just that you listen and don’t say anything.

That’s the entry level emotional vulnerability. For many of us, there isn’t much more “excitement” beyond that. But it takes a bit to get there, it takes a lot to get beyond that, and the way to build my trust in emotional vulnerability is to accept it stoically and never talk to someone else about my emotions.

I don’t know if that is helpful to you. I suspect it can be helpful to someone here. Be willing to recognize and accept the way he experiences and shares emotions.

[RavVid]

A female friend tries to get me to talk about events that have upset me. I tell her I don't want to because I'll be over the negative experience quicker if I don't and it is very annoying if she persists. With a friend I just want to say this happened and it made me angry/pissed off. Done. Your correct response is to say asshole or bitch.

In an hour it will be out of my mind and all the sooner for not talking about it.

I'm happy to talk about my objectives and what I hope to happen however.

Guys and gals are different to the point our brains are structurally different. I have a specialized spatial processing center in my brain that you don't. You have a specialized verbal processing center in your brain that I don't have. You have more inter-connective tissue between hemispheres than I have.

You probably like talking at an emotional level but I don't. You are sort of wanting a guy to be a girl but we aren't. Particularly we deal with negative emotions very differently.

[Alli39]

I'd say try offering your own experiences first. Ask him personal questions that tend towards the more lighthearted/neutral end (childhood memories, personal preferences, etc) so that he feels comfortable talking to you in general.

But generally, as long as you're being sincere and supportive I think he'll come around in his own time.

[Awantika03]

Talk to him about his and your family, share your sweet memories with him, offer him to meet a peaceful place, share your personal things with him,

I hope he will open with you.

[Awantika03]

Thank you Reem for MHG

[BoopBoopBeep]

This is great and all, but also be cognizant of the fact that there may not be as much talking as you expect just by virtue of the fact that sometimes we don't feel anything/aren't thinking about anything.

How do you feel about these curtains? Don't care.

How did it make you feel when Aunt Agnes said your tie was ugly? Who?

So I hear 35 years ago your dad left your mom, how did that make you feel? Uhm.. It was 35 years ago.

Trying to force him to talk about ist that isn't there is only going to annoy him.

[kakaling]

I am also one that doesn't open up my emotions easily.

If I am in his place right now, and if the person in my heart is you.

The easiest solution is got into official relationship. Once I get into a committed relationship there is holding back for me.

[Anonymous]

All you can do is provide a safe space. The good news is you're young enough it's more likely, assuming he even wants to share his feelings. Guys learn pretty quickly that it's pretty dangerous to let a women into his head. It's almost always better to keep it to yourself.

[ohsheeT]

Stick of firecracker in his ass if he jumps about 5 ft and yells Yahoo dukes of Hazzard then you probably got them right where you want them but if that doesn't work bigger firecracker next time LOL

[Lionman95]

I´d say by showing him that you trust him. I don´t think there is nothing you can say or ask. But if you trust him with something he has it easier to put his trust in you since he knows you trust him.

[Wise4myage]

Be patient and take time to get to know each other. And don't be afraid to share.

[Reem12345reem]

he doesn't ask me questions about me , and im the one texting first

[Wise4myage]

Then mention things about yourself, and tell him its ok if he texts you first, and mention how much you would like that.

[Reem12345reem]

isn't that too direct?

[Wise4myage]

No, not at all.

[Reem12345reem]

oh ok , thanks 🙈

[Wise4myage]

You're welcome.

[BoopBoopBeep]

If it's stuff like "what's your favorite color?" then don't. If it's "where's your favorite vacation spot?" it would be better if it happened organically in a conversation. If you're past date 3/week 2 then texting quiz time is where i just start ignoring messages from someone.

[Jimbob08]

Ask about his family and what he likes for hobbies. Show him that you don't judge him. I know for me when a girl judges me I stop opening up.

[Dkc123]

Never do that.. never use those manipulations.
By not trying to make him open up emotionally.. you will help him.. never ask what's bothering, how he feels.. how he feels about the people in his life.. never ask if u really care..

[Reem12345reem]

wait isn't that the opposite? plus im not manipulating him i just want to have a better connction

[Dkc123]

It is manipulation you might not realise it yet.. for better connection follow what he does or asks u rather than ask him about his feeling and flaws in his history..

[Subflics]

Don't try to open him up. It'll happen when it's time

[sirderpsalot123]

There is zero benefit as a man to show vulnerable emotions or show any kind of weakness to anyone.

[KrakenAttackin]

You will be DISGUSTED with him the moment he begins talking about his feelings. Just leave it alone.

[Reem12345reem]

why would i be disgusted?

[Tstrbrainer]

I have no idea.
But if he's around your age it might be easy

[Rohaan2020]

Just stop trying…

[Anonymous]

Show him your tits

[Reem12345reem]

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

[Awantika03]

No no