How to get a guy to open up to you

[Anonymous]

Guys are harder to get to know like their deep thought and feelings I am stuck and would like to know how to get them to open up

[OpenClose]

Guys can be tough nuts to crack. No pun intended.

For some guys, the harder you look, the harder they close off. A lot of guys feel they are supposed to constantly be "manly men" for women, and are worried what would happen if she discovered he is only human like anyone else. So yeah, weaknesses are a big deal.

The best way guys open up to you is if you feel like their respect isn't hinging on their "manliness", and not asking as though you're trying to pry. Remember, guys are also known to look for and call out weaknesses in each other. If you're prying too much, he'll feel like you're looking for something to judge him for.

Another problem for some guys is that they are so used to bottling up what's inside that they have trouble recognizing it in themselves. Rage seems more admired and shown than looking deep into one's self. So sometimes a guy can't quite pinpoint why he feels a certain way. It took me forever to actually figure out what makes me sexually jealous when hearing of a girlfriend's past sexual endeavors. Most guys, and girls, just explode in discomfort and can't actually say why. Some feelings have more complicated origins, and guys aren't exactly encouraged to get in touch with their "inner selves".

[Anonymous]

You should try to open up to him at first.

[lexxypinck]

yeah you know what you are right ! I wanna know that too µ_µ like really whay they are this hard

[WWIIGUY]

Ah, that's the magic question, ain't it? Here's how I've always pictured it: We are awful. We're selfish, disgusting, and many of us have temperament problems.

We're bubbling masses of insecurity and paranoia. Pay attention to that particular sentence. Now here's why: Men were built to be the provider and protector, and we needed to be able to do that effectively, so our brains are wired to take many different scenarios and plan accordingly to keep the family safe. Now, we have the manly men that don't feel feelings, or aren't supposed to because emotion in hunting or battle will get you killed, so we keep them bottled up and try to forget that they exist.

Because we try to ignore emotions, we never learn how to deal with them properly. We learn to fix a broken house, but not a broken home. Emotion is difficult for a man to understand, and we're afraid that, regardless of assurances otherwise, our loved ones will leave us for being as weak and helpless as we feel.

As for getting him to open up? Time. Lots of time and caring. Make him feel like you wouldn't leave him for the world. Make him feel like he has someone that will never leave him. Beware, however, don't do this if you plan on leaving him. Doing that could destroy him.

NOTE: I do not consider the average Douchebag to be a man, as a person such as that does not deserve the title.

[Confucius16]

That's really difficult. Most guys are closed up. Their personalities are just that way, and it would be almost impossible to change that. However, given enough time, or given a healthy relationship, guys could start to open up.

If a guy isn't opening up, then you have to encourage him. Try "Honey (or whatever you like to call him), I feel that you don't open up around me, and I would really appreciate it if you could talk to me about (insert whatever you want him to talk about here) sometimes. Can you do that?" Remember, some guys will not like it if a girl asks him to open up, and will oppose it adamantly, while some other guys would willingly talk about their feelings.

[Theguyoverthere]

It depends on how many negative experiences he has had with women in the past. The more negative experiences he has, the more reluctant he will be to open up. Emotional guys send girls running away like the plague so you'd have no convince him that you're OK with him showing some emotions in general.

[wanderer83]

I agree

[wanderer83]

Dont pressure him. just be caring for him and make sure not to be pushy.

If you care then he will want to care and then he will open up to you.

Guys are afraid to show there feelings a lot of times because they just don't want to look weak. But they misinterpret and misread what women really want.

[thomas4600]

It depends on the personality of the guy ... and also if he has the feeling that he can really trust you!

Sometimes you will have to be patient ... and it can happen that a guy never really opens his heart ...

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

He has to trust you.

If guys are too emotionally open too soon, some girls see them as weak or unconfident. Most guys know this from personal experience.