Guys, would you date a woman in this situation? Girls seriously how's this womens life style condusive for dating?

[DaveJord]

Okay, the woman's 40, she has two biological kids and three step kids from a previous marriage. So 5 kids, her youngest is 20, is pregnant and lives in the same home as her, with a due date of 1 September.

The grand child will be born from her 20 year old, single, dads out of picture, and the grand baby will live at her house with the 20 year old daughter.

This women also has two jobs. Not because she needs two jobs... but because she loves them both so much.

Se says she will not make plans to meet me, until after tje baby is born... which is roughly two weeks away.

Seriously how's this women lifestyle conductive to dating in any way?

Guys would you chat for weeks just to see, Yes!👍 Why?

Guys would you chat for weeks just to see, No! 👎 why?

Ladies, if you were a man... would you even consider this woman, Yes. 👍 Why?

Ladies, if you were a man... would you even consider this Women, No! 👎 Why?

Results

Updates

8 mo

So here's deal.. this woman really needs a committed friends with benefits situation. That's best for her life situation as it currently is. So he's there when she wants him to be, and not an issue when she doesn't want him to be. Most guys would accept this, but texting constantly and not meeting... RED FLAGS!

They all want to commitment with all the bells and whistles... but this woman isn't offer the man a damn thing. She's brings nothing to the table, but all that she's not willing to give.

[OlderAndWiser]

Her priorities (most likely)

1. Grandchild

2-6. The five children

7-8. Her two jobs.

9. At best, this is where you will be. . . until she has another grandchild, then you'll be #10.

I been there and done that. Do yourself a huge favor and find somebody else.

[DaveJord]

Bam!!! 💥 Mic drop! 🎤 🚶‍♂️

[OlderAndWiser]

Sorry, dude, but at least you aren't married and finding yourself in that position (as I was.) If you move forward with this chick, I will hunt your ass down and do an intervention!

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[AviatorTom]

She may be a great person but that's too much baggage... her priorities would not be with the guy she's dating. Having said that, she might be a good friends with benefits, if you'd be happy with that.

[DaveJord]

Tom they never want that... last two guys cheated on her. It's always that I value honesty and integrity above a others things, and that's what I want most from my relationships... you know the same old song and dance.

friends with benefits is honestly all she really needs, but she doesn't want that. But second the man gets real and honest... yeah he's gone.

[Avicenna]

I don't understand why you'd even consider dating someone in such a dumpster fire

[BoopBoopBeep]

It's not just a dumpster fire. It's a train filled with dumpsters catching on fire as they pass into sagging electrical wires then crashing into a daycare. What the actual soggy F does she bring to the table? Can she even find the table?

[DaveJord]

@BoopBoopBeep 😆 🤣 😂 😹

[OlderAndWiser]

@BoopBoopBeep

[BoopBoopBeep]

@OlderAndWiser Nah bro even that's better cause after the plunge maybe the waterfall will break up the building and put the fire out. This woman's not at that level yet.

[OlderAndWiser]

@BoopBoopBeep Yeah, it was just an instant association that I made.

[EmmaMary]

So let's be totally honest here, what you're really bellyaching about is the fact that she's not able to devote all her time and energy to you, because of her family commitments.

So as the old saying goes "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen".

Dump her, leave her and move on... What a huge blessing and relief that will be for this poor woman.

[DaveJord]

Not 100% of her time no not at all. Just weekend, maybe two a month without having to cause her to rearrange her entire calendar. For example I asked her out... and she'd she busy until September. Like WTF?

So I told her she's got a great life, with a lot love in it... but it's not a life style conducive to dating. And she spiraled from there... so yes it's life style but her to.

[KingOfMe1]

It's not that bad. You smoking again Dave? Her life is like most people's.

[DaveJord]

Yes I am smoking... but damn. How to you ever just step away and get out?

Like you got every hoe of your day planed out for weeks. Work, work, kids, grand babies, work... then MAN and maybe next we can get together... but busy this week?

[DaveJord]

But she wants to tell you for 3 hours a night?

[Apple1996]

I don't see anything wrong with this woman dating. She's just becoming a grandma

[DaveJord]

Please explain because I don't get it?

[Apple1996]

From what I'm reading this woman just has kids and jobs. Doesn't mean she can't date.

[DaveJord]

She works every Saturday... Sunday is the only open day... because her daughter live in the house with a soon to be new born.

We are two hours away from each other, and she has 5 kid's and 7 grandkids... we're does the man fight in?

[DaveJord]

Fit in not fight... well maybe fight in... hell I don't know? 😆 🤣 😂

[Apple1996]

Dating shouldn't be about how someone fits in. It should be about love. If she loves and cares about you then she'll make the time to be with you

[Apple1996]

No hate but it's honestly kind of sick how men think they should always be the priority in a woman's life when dating. The comments on this question from the men are fucked

[DaveJord]

But where does he fit in to a life like that?

Only when she has time right? Here weekends aren't even her own?

[Apple1996]

Most people don't just have free time all the time for their partner. Everyone has work and family to deal with. It's normal

[DaveJord]

@Apple1996 I mean... no man can compete with all that. My profile clearly said weekend get aways, road trips.

[Apple1996]

Why would he need to compete? Things in life are not on a priority list like some dumbass listed down below.

And are you looking for someone to just date for the sake of having a woman in your presence or are you looking for a loving partner?

[DaveJord]

Loving partner... meaning someone you physically has time to commit to dating in person.

[Apple1996]

If it's for actual love then y'all would find the time for each other and be accepting of the busy times as well. Most full grown adults don't have a bunch of free time for dating. That's just how it is

[DaveJord]

Yup... got it. You're right... I actually want to date as a full grown adult, with his kids grown and on their own, who's financially independent.

🤦

I don't think women really want that... so I gotcha!

I guess the think is... why should it be assumed that type of life would be appealing to me?

[Apple1996]

Omg so you also have kids and job so literally your life is no better then hers 😆 why judge her then?

[DarkLegacy]

Exactly, hence why she should be avoided

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy it's more the opposite she should be avoiding him since he doesn't want to date for love

[DarkLegacy]

@apple19966 LMFAO. you never fail to make me laugh. Honestly

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy and y'all men never fail to make me sick. For real just not dating for the right reasons. It's sickening 🤮

[DarkLegacy]

@Apple1996 awwwwww, go back to not caring. lol

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy I have to care. I've been learning a lot of mens bad behaviors from this site to try to prevent my son's from ending up that way

[DarkLegacy]

Hahaha, your sons are far more likely to end up that way then we are, males are becoming more wise to the feminist movement. And this coming from the patrons of teenage rebellion. Your sons will rebel also, they will take no notice of anything you say.
And how many times have you continuously said i don't care, clearly you did all along. Hahaha

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy most likely not. People are changing the way that they raise their kids. The only boys that are rebelling are the ones that got raised like it's still 1950. Mindset has to change

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy also my husband isn't like most of y'all are on here but he was also raised by his mother in a similar way that in raising our kids. All of his siblings are in happy relationships

[DarkLegacy]

@Apple1996 do you ever have anything clever to say, everything you say is based on delusion. It is good to see however that you have accepted the fact that men will not date any old female just because you say we are shitty if we don't.
Obviously you are raising your sons to be doormats to women because that is what feminist mentality is about.

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy we live in a feminist world. They have to be adjusted. If not there will be no more relationships. Which it seems to already be turning into that since men can't change the way they were raised

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy being nice and caring towards women is not being a doormat. I think you seen my simp question lol

[DaveJord]

@Apple1996 You say I don't date for love wrong!!! Yes I have kids, and yes i have been in a 20 year marriage. The difference is that I don't have to move my entire Calendar around to make time or a place to schedule a date. The 100% gods honest truth here is this...

This women has two kids from to different dads, and three step kids from a third. Two jobs and pregnant 20 year soon to be infant living in her home, and 7 grand babies. I tried to schedule a date and said she wouldn't be available until September...

You say date for love... this woman's life style is so in consistent to mine, an like 90% of all other mens... it's not my idea of love. She's literally offer me nothing... we're I have a shit ton to offer her, other than just being strung along for weeks,

See I have done this before with a woman... at some piont all those competing factors in life really take toll on her and the relationship... and honestly the , an becomes the easiest thing to get rid of and replace later.

[DarkLegacy]

@Apple1996 it is not all about men changing to suit women, it is women who should change. And a recent at least three recent polls suggest that under 25s men are turning against feminism with most saying that womens rights have gone to far which is correct. we are not living in a feminist world.

[DaveJord]

@DarkLegacy you definitely hit a nerve with @Apple1996. See she's a good person and probably good wife and mother... but she wears the pants in her house. And any man challenges that.. then he a dirt bag that doesn't date for love.

[DarkLegacy]

@DaveJord one of the main problems with feminism, women bossing men around and expecting them to change to suit them.

[Apple1996]

Love is not what you can offer each other. It shouldn't be transactional. And September isn't that far away. Shit I'm married and go months without seeing my husband should I just leave because he doesn't take me on dates or see me on the regular? Lol

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy women have been the ones to change for long enough. It's time to make thing fair

[Apple1996]

And really I'm not saying to date this specific woman but anyone you talk to is gonna have a life that you are not involved in. No one is free all the time unless they are a complete lover

[Apple1996]

Loser* not lover

[Apple1996]

My husband is the leader in family so definitely not wearing the pants. As a traditional woman I have no desires for that

[DarkLegacy]

@Apple1996 lol we finally got there, we have been arguing with each other for six months but now we finally get there. Just another feminist like i said who just wants to get her own back on men for things that happened before she was even born.

That is so childish and pathetic. I pity your husband, he needs that time away to deal with being married to you. He needs to be away from you, i wouldn't blame him if he went one day and did not come back.

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy my husband is military so leaves often for work. Not just randomly. And nah he's overly obsessed with me tbh sometimes gotta tell him to chill cuz I can't deal with it

[DarkLegacy]

Yeah whatever, i sort guessed he was military, but he is not overly obsessed with you. Military folk are not like that, so you are getting something wrong or lying.

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy military guys get obsessed and addicted to things easily especially women

[DarkLegacy]

No they don't my Dad was in the military and my brother still is. Wrong

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy eh maybe they were lucky but all the guys I know (which is a lot) I've always lived I'm a military town. Was a mil brat and wife. They all have some sort of addiction if not multiple. And a lot of that includes their woman

[DaveJord]

Love is one 100% percent transactional, it's all about the things we do, say and how we express it each other.

So I was in the military so, so I would go months with out seeing my wife... but when I was home. And she stopped making the time together special... yeah it didn't last. 22 years and it was over... it was all the both of us could take.

The divorce came, because I retired from military and was never going to leave again. Which means, it's one thing take charge when he's not there. It's one thing to think you're the boss... but nobody ever or truly rules over another person... so remember that. When stop caring or listening... Men accept it or look past it for a time... but you remember that I said it.

Some day he will be home to stay.

[DaveJord]

@DarkLegacy she's right about military guys and addiction... of one type or another. She a depend-a-potamus. She knows what it means.

When the man is gone 6 months out of the year, and never home fir more than a month or two with out leaving again... the woman reigns Supreme. Like she is so the boss... that kids don't even listen to dad. But he's home and gone again... so much, he can't divorce her or he'll never see his kids. And just happens... the family gets all benefits the military community offers... but no dad or husband honestly. And she pos out a kid every few years to keep herself busy, and not working.

They don't do to each on purpose... it just happens.

[Apple1996]

It's only transactional if you make it that way. And that's probably why your marriage didn't work out like you said she didn't make things special.
For some of us relationships don't have to be that way.
I don't really get the control thing but I imagine that has to come from resentment from the time you were gone. Can't expect for someone to live 20 years certain way then want them to flip a switch to a different life

[Apple1996]

Eh I ain't no dependa I stay out of that mess. I'm with my husband for the right reasons not just benefits. But yeah its true this type of life can create uncontrollable drama as well as bad addictions. I think now a days it's not as bad anymore for families tho. They've learned to give the time back in some ways

[DaveJord]

At hight of Iraq and Afghanistan... it destroyed my marriage. But she wasn't cut out for it honestly.

But seriously @Apple1996... this women I describe above... that's you if your marriage fails. And your husband will be me. So love and cherish that man.

Because this women I am talking about here... she's missing and wanting something.. that's never going to be there unless she makes space for it.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Bro... there is NOTHING redeeming about this woman...

[DaveJord]

See has pretty eyes! 🤩 Oh, wait I think she does... she's to busy to meet with out a 2
x weeks notice! But wants to text 3 hours a night! 😆 🤣 😂

[midnightmoon05]

She is looking for a text buddy to feel important.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@midnightmoon05 I think you're right. I outgrew that in high school though, and we didn't even have texting on phones back then

[DaveJord]

@midnightmoon05 I am not sure, I mean yes you are correct. But to these types they never see it for themselves. There lifestyle has them so hemmed in from all sides... any little shift in balance sends them spiraling. Like their whole lives are tied to taking care of others, and doing things for family and friends. The want at times for someone to just be there for them. Hence the texting. But they can't really be there for the man, not in any substantial way, with put completely rearranging her calendar... and stresses her out. So when life come to head, as it always does... and everything feels like it's too much... the man is the easiest thing to get rid of and replace later.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Facts. So you know how this is going to end...

[DaveJord]

@BoopBoopBeep what she is committed friends with benefits situation... but they never want that. What want I'd friends with benefits situation that calk a commitment relationship... even though they are not really committed to the process of making time for and being available to the man. They just want him there when she wants him to be... but if your texting 3 to 4 hours a day with him... then she's getting all she really needs and wants.

[DaveJord]

@BoopBoopBeep When use code and say they want to be respectful of 3avh others time and space, they talk about setting and respecting boundaries. But that's all code for I want what I want... and second the says what about respecting my wants, my needs, my boundaries... the get all anxious and label it toxic masculinity.

Like being a man is bad... like man's piont of view is childish or immature... even though her rational for such thoughts are paper thin.

[BoopBoopBeep]

You nailed it on the head brother. That's why I don't text other than relevant information needed immediately for action. You want to have a conversation it'll be face to face or on the phone, otherwise, I'm busy.

[midnightmoon05]

Yeap … a little tip as a woman traitor I am here. If you are the little fly on the wall and hear them talk!!!
They fucking disrespect their husband/boyfriend. Their goal is to find a man to give them what they want. They have nothing to offer.
The first time I sat around 5-6 women… bitching about their husband, I walked away. Makes me sick how vicious they are.
In any case…good luck with your search. Just don’t put your energy on others who do not give you the time you deserve.

[DaveJord]

@midnightmoon05 👍 they think we don't know... but we do. Men talorate until these woman actually start believing in the bullshit. Then fails and they pretend there's no good men out there.

When fucking had one, but you blew with bullshit.

Good luck to you.

[midnightmoon05]

I am doing well. I am married to a gagger. 😆 almost 2 years now.

[Drewtate]

Date her to be sure, leave your options open. You can date someone without getting into a serious relationship. Personally if I was going to date a single mother I'd be aiming younger like the 20 year old daughter if she hot.

[TheSpaceGnome]

She has kids, I'm already not interested just for that.

Being divorced is also a dealbreaker, and not being a virgin.

Her kid has a kid too (or will soon), and also is a stuck being a single mom, so her parenting skills are trash.

This is a red flag sale.

[exitseven]

I would run away from this mess as fast ss I could.

[midnightmoon05]

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Her life is not yours at this point, you can pick.

the two are not on the same page with life… enough said.
I work with 99% women and I know their behavior…this one stay away.

[Anemone978]

I would not consider her.. seems too busy.. I don't see how you would fit in her life, especially because she has the 2 jobs and she seems to put everyone else first.. so nah I rather look for someone else..

[Anonymous]

She told you here priorities when she said she will not even make plans till after the baby. Her daughter is over 18 and her kid is fatherless as well. I mean the flames coming from this dumpster are visible from space. There is no way I'd date this woman.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/kiVd0GwGiFE

[Staximus]

Sounds like she will have zero time for you in the near future

[Jamie05rhs]

Not a chance in hell I would ever date anyone like that. Not saying she's a bad person; she just has too many personal problems and I don't want to insert myself into that mess.

[DaveJord]

100% and she's in denial about it.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah, man.

[LostandFound__x]

She sounds like she’s too busy to be dating tbh.

[DarkLegacy]

You had me at the first sentence. The option i was looking for was not there, id just say no and not speak to her anymore.

[Anonymous]

I might try to date her in the hopes of a mother daughter threesome.

[Opinion Owner]

If you haven't met her yet; she is probably fake and running a scam.

[Grovermint]

No, I'd be so low on her priorities.

[DaveJord]

Agreed 👍

[Billlewis]

Sure. I don't see why not.

[inhua]

she wants his resources

[RavVid]

Not go anywhere nearer than a bull's roar.