How much does a woman value decreases in the dating game once she has a child?

Question

Maddie0802 · Accepted Answer

Quiet a great deal actually. That of course depends on many details.
First of, people who like to marry or date virgins will naturally loose interest in her. That decision has been made for reasons that in a conservative mindsight allow all of these first experiences to be theirs and should ideally lower the risk of divorces. Other reasons are her mental and financial situation, as well as her relationship with the baby's father or the rest of the family/(friends).
Secondly, with an absent father and maybe no other family members to support her, one would demand a lot of another man to step up to these responsibilities when they were never his to begin with.
Is co-parenting part of her plan? Not everyone is ready to have a family, let alone taking care of someone else's child. Or is this dating just for fun?
Lastly, the man will inevitably bond with the child once they spend enough time together.
And if this relationship ends too there will be at least two relationships broken. This will take a toll on everybody involved.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

This statement can apply to men too but there are women who are a single mother because the father died (which obviously you should heal from prior to seeking out a new relationship) as it isn’t always because her previous relationships didn’t work out. It will be a lot harder for a single mom to find a new relationship because not every man wants to raise another man’s child but also on the flip side she also has to be a lot more careful who she does choose for the sake of that child. You don’t want someone who is a POS being around your kid. If a woman is bad at relationships in general that would be a red flag, but just being a mother doesn’t make her a less valuable partner.

Kaamraj · Accepted Answer

I dont know why this is even a conversation in the west, in majority of the world e. g. Asia, and Africa this isn't even a question. Men do not date or take seriously women with kids. I dont think western men understand that dating a single mom means that you are on third priority; after her, her kid (s) and most probably the father of the child. Secondly, you are playing a role in raising another man's seed, so she gets to fulfil her genetic destiny, the child's father gets a chance to do that also, and you what do you get, you're the chump helping to raise the kid. Asian and African women know that a child out of wedlock means they'll be kicked out of the home, there is shame and dishonor associated with it, that's why it is very rare here and we dont have to worry about dating single mothers.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Almost all value for obvious reasons. Why do I want to raise and spend money on some other guys child? Why do I want to be somewhere behind her children, herself, possible the natural father figuring in some where in the equation?

It is also a strong indicator she has not been able maintain a relationship or had enough random sex to get pregnant accidentally and wasn't smart enough to avoid that. Either of these is a 'stay away' signal.

Over the course of time -after about 20 years and her children are independent - it might be a positive upside. That is she won't be trying to get you to father a child with her in the twilight of her fertility. Then possibly value rises due to that but her body is not ging to be so good 20 years on.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

First of all, dating shouldn’t be called a game🤷‍♀️…

And this “value” crap is ridiculous…

I get not personally wanting to date someone who has kids, but that just means they’re not the right person for YOU, doesn’t mean they have less value as a PERSON…

Just like I wouldn’t personally date a man that has multiple kids with multiple women, but I wouldn’t say they have no value as a person or a man🤷‍♀️

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don't have kids but I've had pets before and I think that when you take care of somebody else, that is better for your mental health than ten million hours of therapy. Instead of studying chemical equations in psychiatry schools, we need to study how to be nice to each other.

Avicenna · Answer

I'd say it decreases it by 80%.

Drewtate · Answer

By a lot. She naturally has less time to date, ho on holidays and have sex. Her main focus is her children who are not yours most step dad's end up in some way financially support these kids. The only reason to date a woman with kids is sex rather than long term commitment.

It's like given the choice between a woman with kids and one with no kids it's more in the guy's best intrests yo choose the childless woman and one day start a family with her.

So going by the number of kids I'd say 50% lower value and take another 10% per kid and that's before over 30 years of age. Look at Kim Kardashian, the only reason I would date her is to smash and for her money.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Can be quite a bit in practice. The time she must devote to the child or children (sorry, just reality), plus the potential for baby daddy drama, and potential extra expenses. A lot of that can be mitigated if the daddy is not in the picture (abandoned them or passed away) and she has the resources to hire a nanny or family to watch the offspring. Still most guys, unless they are single dads, are probably not going to be keen on raising an other man's children, so all other things equal the prospects of a long term are much lower than if she were unencumbered.

stepyo99 · Answer

Most guys don't want to raise somebody else's kid. And then there's the issues with single mothers usually being insane, disloyal sluts. Obviously there's some single moms who either learned from their mistakes or were genuinely dealt a rough hand in life, but they're the exception, not the rule.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Probably similar to single fathers. They will have different priorities in life, resources will be prioritised to kids.
I had a few dates with a single mum, we talked for about a month. But getting her time was very difficult, sometimes would be a couple of weeks at least between being able to meet.
For a single person with no commitments, it can be difficult to accept.

Billlewis · Answer

Often not as much as many people might think, especially if she only has one or two children. Many guys, myself included, view this kind of situation as a ready made family, and are therefore seeking a woman like this.

magiusX26 · Answer

depends on a varying number of factors.

was she married to the father? if yes, what age when she gave birth, how long were they together, why is dhe not still with him, is he still in the picture, how long ago did she give birth, does she expect me to pay for and raise the child?

if no, was the child the result of a one night dtand, rape, bad relationship, did she plan on having the baby as a trap,?

thats just some of the basic factors questions.

Anonymous · Answer

Women who suffer the misfortune of birth control failure are chastised either way by somebody in society. They are sluts who couldn’t keep their closed (even though plenty of men don’t like waiting for marriage either). Or they are terrible people if they choose abortion. It’s a lose lose situation.

AlbantheGreat · Answer

I don't understand the question: most women are made to be mothers (some are sterile). They bear the life of the next generation, it's programmed in their DNA.

What's the point about dating a woman if you don't want to marry her and have children with her? Just to have fun or something?

Grovermint · Answer

There's an unfortunate reality I noticed with a lot of single moms, especially ones with multiple fathers for her children. They've made a number of poor life choices and the previous paramours are deadbeats or treated very poorly by the mom without being able to see their kids. The second situation leads me to think that if I go down the road with her, that she's going to do the same thing to me. The former makes me think that she's a dumbass.

dragoblack · Answer

It doesn't decrease her value, but it does decrease her chances of finding a partner. Once a child is involved, whether the mother wants to or not, you will still be interacting with the child because the child is part of the mother's life. That takes a lot of responsibility on the man she is dating, to step up and help her, so they can have romantic time together.

Apple1996 · Answer

Depends on who you ask. To a real man it wouldn't decrease her value at all. To a man that is a piece of shit then they obviously are selfish and think a kid will take time away from them 🙄

molonski2 · Answer

I think this question is extremely age dependent , single teenager to 25 , probably quite a bit I would suspect , but remembering that the " clock is ticking " , I think its less of a factor as she gets older.

Adaeva · Answer

It lowers her value by 1 or 2 points. If she is a 9 or a 10 it lowers her value 2 points to a 7 or an 8. If she is a 5 or 6, it lowers her value by one point.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

A good bit I assume. It's dumb to think she will be on the same level as a woman who's similar but without a child. The single mother would need to bring something above and beyond other women.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

If they're 18 and can support themselves then I don't care that much. If they're 6 that's a no go.

DextroShade · Answer

She loses 4 or 5 points out of ten. Most men don't want to raise another man's child, and mist women won't let a man discipline their children so they couldn't raise them correctly anyway.

Anemone978 · Answer

Why does it matter? People already don't have any value to begin with..

exitseven · Answer

I would say it goes down considerbly. Especially if she has never been married and the father is not in the picture.

Chthou95 · Answer

It decreases a lot. Most men dont want to be helping or raising a kid that is not there's. The kid will always be first and if the dad is around, why should i take care of his kid? Even though that's what the single mother will want me to do

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on if you think like a misogynist or not.

Anonymous · Answer

As I have said many times before on here. A single mother is about as attractive to a man as a homeless man is to a woman.

You have to put in an analogy otherwise some women will simply not understand.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

To date seriously then significantly. The reality is the child is going to be in the way a lot and most men won't like a child being in the way when he's trying to spend time and sex with a woman.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Her value decreases to zero for me. I'm not interested in moms.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Quite a bit. She becomes nothing but a fuck buddy to high value men.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

It's like the difference between a new or used car. Suddenly you're in the market for divorcees.

Unit1 · Answer

It is killed off except for single fathers and those, who want to raise another man's kids.

Twalli · Answer

Well the guy she's interested in dating cannot be her first priority anymore.

A_Bell · Answer

Well, I'm married, so um, at least by 10% or so.

inhua · Answer

most men would not want to be a step-dad

NewgodOmega · Answer

Down to less than 12 percent

gothbxtch · Answer

don’t talk about “value” like that

DarkLegacy · Answer

It decreases by %100

Sasha0426 · Answer

Why is it always women but not men?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I'd say it decreases by about 80%.

LazerBean · Answer

Obviously a lot.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

It doesn't decrease.

Anonymous · Answer

Quite a bit I imagine unless the kids are grown

Anonymous · Answer

The value drops tremendously, yes.

Bloopbloopbloop · Answer

I'd say a lot

Reijen · Answer

A lot.

Anonymous · Answer

I think a lot

How much does a woman value decreases in the dating game once she has a child?

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How much does having a child with another man decrease a woman's dating value (not SMV) in the eyes of childless men IYO?

How much does a woman value decreases in the dating game once she has a child?

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How much does having a child with another man decrease a woman's dating value (not SMV) in the eyes of childless men IYO?

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