Rollo Tomasie talks about a phenomenon called "kill to party" that was first coined after the Stacey Anthony trial in 2008. Essentially what he says is that when a woman has a child but she wishes to get back out there on dating scene, she knows that the child will be hinder her ability to lock down a high quality man.
So many women will often get a beta male to be in a relationship with her and play baby sister raising the child while she has "Girl's night" with her friends. Other women will relegate parental duties to other family members to take on the child. Rollo also goes onto say that abortions are related to this phenomenon. A woman if she gets pregnant with a child she no longer sees as high value will often choose to abort the child due to effect that child will have on her ability to date; he even cites that 93-96% of all abortions are elective with only a small percentage being due to product of rape.
With that said, for men without children how much does a woman's attractiveness decrease in your eyes after she has pushed out a child for another man?Personally I think the attractiveness goes down sharply no matter what a woman's looks like if you knowingly know she has a kid with another guy. Even if she happens to be a good mom and great personality wise she will always have you low down when it comes to priority on the list.
Some examples which reinforce this is this story from reddit can be seen below.
"I have a friend that married a single mom with a 6 year old daughter. He put her through private schools, college and grad school. He coached her sports teams and went to every event. Last summer the daughter got married and her deadbeat bio dad walked her down the aisle at a wedding that he payed for. When he was upset by this his wife and adopted daughter told him he was being selfish and it was her day. He’s filing for divorce as soon as he gets his ducks in a row. He feels like he was used for 22 years."
How much does having a child with another man decrease a woman's dating value (not SMV) in the eyes of childless men IYO?
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I can't speak for every guy but I'd say it cuts her value in half at least. I always like to say that a single mom to a man is about attractive as a homeless guy is to a woman. And if women would listen rather than just reacting with anger they'd understand why! A homeless guy is a gamble! He might be a good guy. But something put him in that position. Same as a single mom. She's a gamble. Something put her in that position. And here's where women will make excuses. He left her, he knocked her up and dumped her. He was abusive. Etc. What do all these cases have in common? HER she CHOSE this "wonderful" man. In short if a woman is a single mom, it's indicative of her judgement. Why would a guy want to be with a woman who makes bad choices? Would a woman want to be with a guy who makes bad judgements? No! To make things worse most guys are smart enough to realize in many of those cases the biological fire is never out of the picture. How would you women feel about a guys ex that is always in the picture... yeah I thought so! And I haven't even mentioned the financial aspect. It has been estimated that each child is a cost of 160,000. Let's not quibble on the number. The point is if she had 3 kids you're already in the hole for a half million. Now ask each woman if they want to take a half million dollar gamble for each guy they choose. I rest my case! Sorry ladies make good choices and save yourself this problem. Single moms, you made your nest... sorry you have to lie in it.
Having another man's child gives her zero chance with me and most other men. Even if she is otherwise the woman of my dreams, I'd count her as a missed opportunity that I wished I had met before she got pregnant, and I'd move on and look elsewhere.
It is very rare that a guy wanting a serious relationship will date a single mom. Most guys don't want another guy around, and raising another guy's kid is usually seen as a negative for that and other reasons.
On top of that, I don't want kids at all, so the idea of raising someone else's kids is a huge nope.
It's a dealbreaker for the vast majority of childless guys. I would never have done it when I was childless, and I wouldn't do it now, either (did it once before, but after I had kids).
Even for guys willing to do it, it cuts her value on the dating market by more than half, I'd say.
Pregnancy can leave stretch marks and perhaps tightness which can lower her value depending on the person and the extent. That said, the baby knocks a 10 down to an 8, an 8 down to a 7, and a 7down to a 6.
That comment about abortion is just stupid. Women have abortions so they will not be burdened with raising kids, not because of how it affects their dating life.
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