Can I get her back?

[Wanderer22]

I was with a gorgeous girl for a year and a half. (F22) I’m a male and I’m 27. She lived with me and would hardly go to work at her salon and was kind of lazy. I broke up with her twice and kicked her out the second time in January. We have been talking on and off since and hanging out and even hooked up once in March. I realized I messed up after she finally went to EMT school and now works regularly. She is the most loyal and loving girl. I am trying to get her back and now she said she needs space. When we’d go on dates she told me about the dates she went on and she only hooked up with one of them this year. She’s very honest and upfront. She wants space and we didn’t have any problems except for me. Our relationship was great until I ended it. Thanks for reading and I’m just curious what women think? Can I even get her back at this point? She randomly calls me sometimes and the next day she’s cold to me. I regret ever leaving her and I don’t think she’ll ever believe me again.

[Anonymous]

I think there’s a chance, but it’s small and could take quite a bit of time. You broke up with her because you felt she was lazy. But she had a job when you broke up with her. She probably felt that you were judging her unfairly because of her profession, which is why your chance of getting her back may be small. No girl wants to be with someone who makes her feel like she’s not good enough.

Now she has a new job, and a very stressful one at that. Working as an EMT can be very traumatic, so she’s going to need some time to adjust. Because she’s new at her job, she’ll need time for her confidence to build up. This is where your chance of getting her back is going to take time.

Be patient with her, but also be supportive of her endeavors. If she asks for space, give it to her. If she comes around, tell her how much you miss her and how proud you are of her. Don’t keep reminding her of how much you messed up and how sorry you are. Repeating the same apology only cheapens it. Show her you’re a changed man. And if she truly wants it all to end, accept her decision and move on.

[Wanderer22]

Thanks so much. I agree with you 100%. I will ride the long route on this one

[_Maya_]

Yeah of course there is a chance. It may not be as good as if it would have been before you kicked her out. That's a harsh thing to go through. But there is always a chance to make amends and see if she will give it another shot. I would just say your piece and then give her the space she needs. If she just started a new career she might want some time to strike a balance with that before getting into a relationship again. Good luck!

[Wanderer22]

Thank you so much.

[_Maya_]

You are very welcome! 😊

[Iron_Man]

Why would you kick her out because she didn’t work that much? It’s her job or her own business.

[Wanderer22]

I paid all the bills. I’m an engineer and I kept my finances a secret and just had her buy groceries but she would yell at me and say she didn’t have to work because i paid the bills.

[Kingship]

Your perception of women will always be greater than how women actually are.

[Nikki1989]

There is always a chance if you work at it.

[Wanderer22]

Thank you so much.

[crylushx]

If she's smart, she wouldn't go back. Why do you now want her when she is doing better

[Wanderer22]

She was very stubborn and after a year it wouldn’t change and she said she would and didn’t again unfortunately.