Why would a guy ghost you after asking you on a second date?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy out a bar. He was very sweet, handsome and mature. He asked me out on a date and everything was perfect. He picked a really nice place and we clicked instantly. After dropping me off at home, he texts me saying he had a great time and is already planning the second date. I agree to it and think everything is fine. I texted him the next day and crickets. I haven't heard from this guy in weeks! I know he's alive because he's liking my posts on social media, I just don't get it. I'm more so upset that he wasted my time. Can someone please explain to me why this would happen?

Updates

2 mo

Thank you all for the advice and thoughtful responses. It’s comforting to know that we all share the same experiences and agree that dating is frustrating lol. This was really helpful, appreciate all of you!

[DaveJord]

I am not even going to venture a guess honestly. It has happened to me, and you very rarely get any answers, so I just quit stressing about it. I like am just pissed because they more or less wasted my time. All I can say is that it probably had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

So I just went on date last night with single working mom. Well, I am 47 and she is 45, and her kids are grown now. But she said that making that choice to date again is hard. Because when she was younger, she would go on dates, but then with work and the kids... it became too stressful. So, from my experience, especially with people you find online, they all think they know what they want, and are ready to date... but once they start doing it become overwhelming.

Bottom line is this... if you really are ready to be dating, then you really have to want to date. Most do not realize where they are not truly ready to be until they try. But this situation does not sound right, maybe he expected more from you... and then thought better of it later.

To me it's more likely it's like everyone else has just said... he was playing the field and something else popped up. I will say this, when a man is playing the field, he will go out with different woman, but the first one that gives him sex is the one he goes with.

[tzdc21]

Ghosting is never okay. But I think it might be that he met someone else. Or maybe he saw something on your social media account that he didn't like and decided it was a no go. Or maybe someone told him something about you and he didn't like it. Or maybe he just wasn't into you all that much to begin with. The possible reasons are endless.

[_Maya_]

Alright so there could be a number of reasons. My best estimation is he was playing the field and found what he thinks is a better catch. Instead of man up like a guy should he just ghosted you. Yeah not cool. Not gonna lie though. Girls do the same shit. So it isn't gender biased. It is just a shitty way to handle stuff and unfortunately it happened to you. You just gotta move on and find the next one. If it has been weeks this is surely dead. Sorry hun.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for most helpful opinion!

[Avicenna]

He met someone else, probably

[nightowl_28]

Could be a number of different things. He could have gotten cold feet, he met someone else? Either way I'm sorry that this happened to you and I hope you're able to meet someone that is committed to you.
I'm staying away from dating I have a poor self image and I think I'm really ugly. I also worry about the fact that I'm weird and socially awkward and possibly creepy

[nightowl_28]

I'm trying to work on that though I'm seeking therapy and taking medication

[Asker]

Therapy helped me with my confidence a lot and recognize my worth. Best thing I ever did.

[nightowl_28]

That sounds like a good plan. I need to seek internal validation, not external. Even if a woman did find me attractive, I don't think it would change the way I see myself at the moment

[ProbablyClueless]

A few things might have happened, but most likely, he probably just met someone he felt more of a spark with.

I once went on a date with a fantastic woman who our vibe felt like "wifey of twenty years." As amazing and familiar and gentle and sweet as our interactions were; they weren't exciting. That's not to say that I wouldn't wife her up in a second, but our chemistry wasn't spicy. Some guys really want that spice.

[Fireguy17]

he either was expecting sex, or he already found someone else to sleep with.

[Sharkstealth]

Stay out of bars.

[Anonymous]

He got a better offer. Move on.