Boyfriend frustrates the hell out of me in arguments, is this normal?

[Anonymous]

So the arguments go like this, he gets pissed off with me for something. I apologise , offer to make it up to him, I ask him how to fix things etc. Nothing helps and then he makes me feel guilty by saying I’ve ruined his weekend because he can’t spend time with me now that I’ve annoyed him.

I tell him I tried to fix it and apologise. So I’m pretty much blamed for the fight and blamed for not fixing the fight and blamed for the fact he can’t see me because I made him angry. It’s like talking to a wall trying to tell him how it frustrates me. This can’t be how most couples fight?

[DaveJord]

He sounds like a gasligher and blame shifter. I cannot stress enough to you, that you should really avoid these types of people. Sounds like a manipulation game he is playing.

It sounds like he starts an argument with you, and you apologize just to keep the peace. Then he uses that apology to place all the blame on you and then says he doesn't want to see now. Like it's form of punishment for you to not be able to be with him and enjoy yourself.

So, I was married to person like this... and good days she was amazing, fun and supper entertaining and intoxicating. But on bad days this emotional manipulation tricks she would pull. In the end it literally came down to her getting her way all the time or she would make my life miserable. Which honestly, she was doing anyway, but I was lying to myself about it the whole time, because I really loved her.

So this is how it plays out over time, you start to question your sanity eventually. You find yourself walking an eggshell all the time to avoid any arguments. You find yourself doing things that you normally wouldn't do, but you do them anyway because you want him to be happy. But it never seems like it good enough for him, and inevitably over time you will come to realize that he never really ever appreciated you as a person or any of the sacrifices you made for him, because the whole time it was always and only just about him.

But that is how these people use your emotional state, to take advantage of you, and then use you to improve their own sense of self-worth, by tearing you down.

Sounds narcissistic to me. I hope you read it and take some of it to heart.

[AviatorTom]

Men are generally better at the art of arguing than women are. What you describe is pretty normal. The best thing to do is to hit take arguments with him personal. Arguing is common in most relationships. Just put it behind you.

It's interesting that women don't want us men go try to fix the problem you tell us, just listen is what the woman usually wants. Then women try to solve the argument, exactly what they don't want us men to do.

[catarecute]

i think he is pretending to be angry so he doesn't have to see you and on top of that he is making you feel bad. he sounds like a manipulator.

[Asker]

He is genuinely angry lol , he does want to seem but says I ruined it

[Asker]

See me*

[catarecute]

to me either he i manipulating you or he has anger issues. again i dont know him

[boggboss]

U picked a toxic partner guess that's kinda normal these days

[Smashingdoozy]

Toxic as hell drop him.