If I’m so attractive, why don’t I get asked out or flirted with?

[thatshydork]

Everybody’s always telling me I’m pretty, beautiful, attractive, etc. but if that’s true, why don’t I get flirted with or asked out? Is it because I intimidate them? I’m 5’10” and have been told I can look intimidating. Maybe it’s also because I don’t go enough places by myself?

For context, this is usually the face I have when in public by myself:

Updates

+1 y

Ok for more context, I do not usually look as terrible as I apparently do in that picture.

[Avicenna]

I think you’re very attractive, but appearing to be unhappy or grumpy will keep most people in general from approaching you. Guys your height or shorter might also assume you only want to date a guy taller than you.

Are you comfortable starting a convo with guys? That would be another opportunity for you to meet guys.

[thatshydork]

Thank you! And I could be more confident when it comes to starting conversations with guys seeing as I’m kind of shy.

[Avicenna]

Practice talking to guys in low-stress situations to develop more confidence.

[Avicenna]

I've been approached by some women who were not very good at hitting on guys. I always made sure to put them at ease and to have a good convo with them.

[Adaeva]

You are not pretty. At best, you are average. However, people you know tell you what you want to hear. It has nothing to do with being 5'10". Most fashion models are 5'10" or taller and very few are 5'9".

Unless you choose to be delusional, itshould be easy to look at very popular girls your age and realize they are prettier than you. Regardless, average girls can date good-looking guys. Since you are a 5 or 6, guys that 7s and even a few 8s will date you because guys do date down. However, if your minimum standard is 9 or 10, you may never get asked.

I am certain that guys flirt with you. However, if they don't meet your high standards, in your mind, they don't count.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, really. That's attractive? Quite ordinary, as far as I'm concerned.

[thatshydork]

Hey, I know I wasn’t looking my best in that photo or in my profile picture as I was sick when my pfp was taken so a five or six isn’t bad. I normally look better (at least in my opinion). The lighting also wasn’t doing me any favors in the photo above + I was overheating and tired. As for the comparing me to others part, I don’t really appreciate that. I know there are girls out there who are prettier than me, but pointing it out is quite rude. I appreciate the honesty though.

[thatshydork]

@FunkyMonkee considering I wasn’t looking my best in either my profile picture (I was sick) and in this photo (I was overheating and tired), ordinary ain’t too bad.

[Adaeva]

I don't consider telling what I believe to be the truth, especially if asked, is rude. However, in our modern society where there is so much emphasis on making everyone feel good about themselves, most people will agree with you and say that I was rude. Nevertheless, this is not one of them but at times I will lie. If a friend asks, "Do you like my new dress?" and I think it is hideous, or if she asks, "Do you think I'm fat?" when obviously she is, I will lie. I don't dare tell the truth when I know she is not looking for the truth.

[thatshydork]

Fair enough. If you want to see what I look like in much better lighting and when I’m not overheating and exhausted or sick, you can look at my most recent question, but that’s up to you. I appreciate the honesty.

[Adaeva]

You are right. You look better in that photo. With bilateral symmetry and smooth clear skin, you are a borderline 7. College pom pom girls are mostly 8s and you are not pretty. Most young female movie stars are 9s, and Kamila Valieva is a 10, Use those as references.

[thatshydork]

Those aren’t even my best pictures, so a 7/10 is still pretty good in my books. I usually get told somewhere between 7-9 (rare occasions a 10). Beauty is all in the eyes of the beholder I guess.

[Adaeva]

* not THAT pretty.
There are universal characteristics of beauty that hold true across all cultures. Disney princesses also have those characteristics. They include Bilateral symmetry, a small waist-to-hip ratio (ideal is 0.68), a youthful appearance, smooth clear skin, and big eyes. People will have preferences because there are many other factors. However, if you have that, you might win "Miss Universe."

[thatshydork]

Thank you. I know I definitely won’t win Miss Universe anytime soon😂, but I like to think I’m not ugly on the outside either🤷🏻‍♀️

[FunkyMonkee]

You're not at all ugly but, I just wouldn't call that,"attractive".

[Adaeva]

Ugly is 4 or below. 5 is a low average and 6 is a high average. As a 7, you are pretty. 8s & 9s are beautiful to gorgeous. The extremely rare one-in-a-million 10s are a cut about all the rest.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Master a playful smile, awaken some sparkles in your eyes to radiate happiness, work out - It will raise your attractiveness much more.

None of us look good when we look like life has bored the hell out of us.

I am pretty average. There are a few men wanting to date me. Not because I am pretty or something, just because they think I am cute and I am fun to be around.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It cannot be overstated how far a good smile goes.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@BoopBoopBeep Totally agree 💯

[Radiate143]

@BoopBoopBeep it's true. It can move mountains!

[Blueeyes81]

Friends and family are never good indicators of attractiveness. They will always tell you what you want to hear. Asking strangers you might get some truth but still no one wants to be an asshole.(most people anyway.) So even then it's not entirely reliable.

[thatshydork]

I don’t really even ask, they just kinda tell me. I got asked once if I was a model by some lady in a parking lot.

[ManOnFire]

That facial expression is why you're not getting asked out. Not the face itself.

[midnightmoon05]

I am average. But never ever not have dating problems.
Personality and outlook in life can create a dynamic that one wants to approach you. Smoke, be pleasant, approachable, reach out, say hi, be friendly, be bubbly! Certain type didn’t like my personality… they’re lost.
I had lots of dates in my 20s. Married at 30.
I had dates after my divorce… married now.
I am still that happy, easy going personality and people wants to talk to me.
share more smiling pictures…

[OfMiceandMen]

I think guys tend to look at an attractive women and just automatically assume she is already taken... because they are attractive.

So the whole idea of taking a chance when chances are you're going to get shot down doesn't appeal to a lot of guys.

So we tend to take easy route so we don't get our feelings hurt.

[slatyb]

Everybody? Your family and friends? Of course they are going to say that. Also most women are terrible at knowing what men find attractive. Like it or not, the first thing men look at is a woman's figure. Are you at a healthy weight?

[thatshydork]

Everybody as in my friends, family, friends parents, and some random people on the street (mostly women). As for the weight part, I’m not unhealthy but I could still stand to loose some pounds.

[slatyb]

So no one who will give you an objective opinion. If you are overweight you aren't going to attract attention from men who don't know you. If you join an activity group that has some single men, they will get to know you better and you won't be relying on a first impression.

[Billlewis]

Oh my goodness... are you serious? I can't imagine anyone that beautiful having any difficulty whatsoever being asked out for a date. Seriously.

[thatshydork]

Thank you!

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am. I also started following you, and I'd be honored if you'd follow me as well, if that's alright.

[Tim2nice]

You are beautiful but perhaps you’re sending the wrong signals. You’re also tall, so your pool will inevitably be smaller. At this stage all you can do is smile, look happy and confident and the offers will arrive. Good luck!

[thatshydork]

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

You're attractive but they might be thinking that you're too easy for them or you might be looking as too hard to get. Evaluate your own actions before them and you'll understand what may be the reason. Or else get courage and ask a guy that you like about why you're not getting asked out. One more reason is that you don't communicate lot with other guys and you might be not easily approachable and guard yourself off from guys

[CAPLOVE]

You are so pretty!! You need to be confident and approach them. A lot of guys are scared of rejection so that's why the won't talk to pretty girls.

[thatshydork]

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I'll say it again. When a woman doesn't get asked out by guys it generally comes down to 1 of 2 reasons

1. She's punching above her weight.

2. Emotionally unavailable.

Now all you have to do is determine which one you are. Too many women erroneously think that men are not people to. With hope, dreams, aspirations, and of course FEELINGS. In short, it's not just about YOU.

[Arik_jade]

I think you are hot (based on your hot profile pic)... so guys should get attracted towards you.
But it depends you that how you treat the guy when he reaches to you..

[thatshydork]

Thank you!

[Arik_jade]

You are always welcome

[Arik_jade]

Infact I am also attracted towards you

[MrNameless]

If that's how you look at default, then yeah, it does look intimidating.

Just look more approachable and smile more when you make eye contact with people.

[Radiate143]

Well, your resting face looks bitchy. I always think about happy things and I really loke to look around at flowers and nature and absorb whatever is good around me. So, I seem more approachable. Always have a smile in your eyes.

[Still-alive]

You look fine. maybe a smile might help you better. or it could be the area you live in perhaps. don't give up though

[Still-alive]

@thatshydork that reyega dude is a troll. ignore him and block him is my suggestion. i've seen him posting similar shit on other womens questions and answers

[thatshydork]

Thanks! At least you’re being a lot nicer then some of the others in this comment section.

[Still-alive]

Yeah there's a lot of incel loser on here whose whole purpose is to demean and hate on women on here. especially attractive looking ones like you. i guess you can take it as a compliment in a twisted type of way lol...

[thatshydork]

Yeah I guess haha😅 and thank you

[Still-alive]

Yeah so they are usually level 1, no pic in their profiles, usually their profiles are private, zero followers and yeah they have a trail of shitposting on womens questions on here lol. so just ignore or block em when you see them.

[thatshydork]

Will do, thank you for being nice

[Anonymous]

I don't know. You're beautiful. Pretty hot in the pfp. Maybe they dont like your personality.

[thatshydork]

Thanks I think? At least that was nicer then the guy who said I’m not at all attractive😅

[Guardian45]

Your Pfp and background pic confirm you're hot! Shorter men are intimidated by your height!

[thatshydork]

Thank you!

[andreasderjuengere]

The guys around know someone more exciting, I suppose?

[syncheart]

If you can smile a lot, people will be more attracted to you.

[Willlovewinintheend]

You're probably just not interested in the guys that do ask you out.

[Adogdog]

It's okay, I don't really get flirted with either lol

[rigmarole]

Stop trolling.

[thatshydork]

Flattered that you think I’m trolling, but I’m not.

[Anonymous]

You are a 5/10 and appearance is only one part of attraction.

[thatshydork]

Second part is true. For the first part, I know this isn’t my best photo, it’s just the only recent photo I have where I’m not smiling. In the profile picture I was sick with Covid so that’s not my best looking photo either. But either way a 5/10 under those circumstances ain’t bad.

[Jennz6]

You’re beautiful

[thatshydork]

Aw thank you

[Jennz6]

You’re welcome honey

[Sparkie460]

You are giving the " I'm going to get you " eyes

[Sparkie460]

Your face looks better in your profile picture. Maybe it is because you are smiling.

[thatshydork]

Thank you

[Sparkie460]

You're welcome

[thatshydork]

And thank you for being nice, unlike some of the other commenters.

[Sparkie460]

Your nice to me so there's no reason to be anything else but nice.

[Sparkie460]

You should let your sweetness shine through a little more.

[thatshydork]

Thank you, I appreciate it. This made me feel a lot better honestly.

[Sparkie460]

I mean every word. You seem like you're a sweet woman but in the picture it looks like you're mean and unapproachable. Smile then take a picture

[thatshydork]

Thank you and I usually do, this is just how I look when I’m bored

[dolemite58]

maybe it’s ur personality

[thatshydork]

I can be pretty shy so maybe? I’m usually a kind person (or so I’ve been told) so🤷🏻‍♀️

[dolemite58]

maybe try to be more social in general, prince charming isn’t just going to land on ur doorstep lol

[thatshydork]

I don’t really know how tbh cause like I have social media, I’m in school (but all my classes are online so I guess that’s something I could change), and I volunteer a lot and spend a lot of time with friends.

[BourbonAndBacon]

You don't look friendly in that pic

Who said you were attractive?

[thatshydork]

Family, friends, my modeling agent, classmates, random ladies on the street, etc.