Would you date a seasoned guy?

[Anonymous]

There are worst age gaps in life, I'm 29 and he's 40 and it's not me saying he's old or anything. It's just that at that age you tend to have different priorities but, the seasoning makes him interesting.

Has great conversation skills, very charming, respectful, definitely interesting to talk to and, also emotionally intelligent.
There's a conflicting attraction happening right now and I don't know how to feel about it 😂.
It's like... A taboo. Maybe the fact that he's also the brother of a good friend doesn't help. And plus, I can't help but think that this could be some issues down the line (kids and all that...)

Maybe I have Daddy issues, lmao, that's how my best friend calls him now 😞 lmao

[Anonymous]

Do you have daddy issues? Was your dad in your life? I don’t consider it daddy issues w his age. Now if he was in his 50’s, maybe, but not always. Would it make a difference if he was 39 and you were 29? Maybe because you’re still in your 20’s, him in his 40’s, it make it seems like he’s 20 years older. What about when you turn 30? Would that not seem so weird? I don’t think there’s anything wrong w it. A lot of women tend to like older men.

[Asker]

So many questions, lmao. I'll try responding to all.
- I don't feel like I have daddy issues, anyhow I am not looking to be cared for like a daughter by my partner... after, to each their vibe. That's just not mine, lmao.
- My Dad was omnipresent, lol. I got to see him on weekends (Saturday, thanks to church honestly) until I turned about 14 or so. Then I guess he felt his kids were old enough to be Dad free. Still, I would see him but just not often at all once I hit high school.
- Then yeah, weirdly... If he was 39 and me 29, I'd not be too stunned. You're probably right about me being in my 20's. I think I haven't passed the mental cap of actually being a 30 year old. Holding on to that last year for dear life 😂

You're making valid points and, yeah, it's my brain making weird maths. Because it's true, the gap isn't that huge when you look at it objectively

[Opinion Owner]

So no one goes out seeking abusive partners or drug addict partner ts or narcissist but some how we end up finding that if that’s how we’re wired. Who knows maybe you do have daddy issues. Deep down may not know that

[AmyHew1tt]

No, I definitely wouldn't. If I was in my 30s, and he was in his 40s, sure, but as long as I'm in my twenties I'm staying away from guys who are more than five years older than me.

[Asker]

If I may ask, how old are you?
And I understand where you're coming from. What are your personal reasons for not dating anyone with more than a 5 year age gap?

[AmyHew1tt]

I'm nineteen. I've always felt age gaps really deeply, and find men who I can tell are a lot older than me unattractive, and get uneasy when they hit on me, because it's been happening since I was fourteen. I find a lot of older men have this notion that all girls 17-21 are drooling for guys who are 30-40 years old, which makes them insensitive to the fact that it might be legal, but it still feels innately wrong and uncomfortable.

[Asker]

Ah yeah! You're talking about the weirdos. I totally get you especially when this awkward flirting happens at a young age. I've had the same experience. It's true that a 40 y/o flirting with a 19 y/o just feels wrong. I think the older you get the less weird it feels but yeah, at 19, it's totally not acceptable

[AmyHew1tt]

I agree. I think once you're in your thirties, age gaps shrink a little, as 30s/40s are kind of in the same sphere.

So to each their own, but just as me, I think I'll always stay within the not five years older stance

[Asker]

Yeah, we both agree.
As for the age difference, honestly I thought like you before until I got to meet this person. I think the mentality and personality matters a lot in these situations I guess we'll see what it gives. At most, I'd have learned something new on the way.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Cool, best of luck