If I have no incentive to pursue women, why should I?

[wowop99266]

I'm a 28 year old virgin. I've rarely, if ever, talked to women in a social context in my life. Why? Well for one I've lived with my parents my whole life and they never pushed me to leave, but that's besides the point. Let's say hypothetically, I could have a lot of value to offer someone, generally speaking. For me, that alone is not an incentive to pursue. Women have done nothing for me, have never shown the slightest interest in me or even so much as a follow on IG, and while I have desired their attention from time to time, as unfortunately I have to claim being a biological human; I still have no incentive to pursue them. I've gone this far without them, it's not like I needed them before, why would I even start now. What reason do I have, it's not like I owe them anything. Even if I did say to myself, okay, I want to pursue women; "Why?" Just because I wanted to? It doesn't make sense, I just feel like it would be such an unsolicited, unwelcomed thing to do. Do I just keep waiting for a sign or something to maybe happen one day into my 30's?

[DarkWinterNights]

I get the sentiment. The older you get the more disillusioned you become with normal relationships and the more you wonder why you have to be the one to put in all the work and effort to make a relationship with someone who can easily replace you. All in the hope of creating a stereotype marriage with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence you were conditioned to strive for.


Only advice I can give you is try to stay positive despite that. Don’t get bitter or resentful and try to keep yourself open to people. You never know when you might meet someone who actually will reciprocate your love and care. They're out there, just hard to find anymore.

[wowop99266]

I... Never implied any of that. Disillusioned with normal relationships? I'm disillusioned with just even talking to women.

[Nirmroth]

I mean no one forces you pal. The point is why we seek partners is because it is nice to have a person you can trust, you can talk with things about you wouldn't want to talk with even close friends. Because its nice to have someone you can share your Life with. You did an awesome thing? Who would you tell expect parents.
A partner enrichens you as extention of your life. We all have those lonely nights even if we choose to be single atm not with a partner tho.
Further aspects would be simply not beeing alone with old or if you like to have children at some point.

[Siri137]

"I've lived with my parents my whole life and they never pushed me to leave, but that's besides the point."

Wrong. That's entirely the point. They haven't encouraged you to be more self-reliant, and that's always a mistake for a parent to make.

"Women have done nothing for me..."

Yes, well, with THAT attitude you will be able to count on being single for the rest of your life. It's all about you, you, you, and what you think you deserve from women. Well, it doesn't work that way. If you have nothing to offer in a relationship, then no one will be interested in you. No woman wants to have to look after a 28 year old baby.

[wowop99266]

Well that's where you're wrong because I didn't mean it in the sense that women have to do something for me, I do not think I deserve women or even implied it once, in fact I implied quite the contrary, twice. When I first said that I could hypothetically have value to offer, and that I wouldn't want to be unwelcomed or unsolicited. When I said do something for me, I meant so much as just barely smile, or just even talk to me. You took it to a different context.

[AmeerX]

It's a culture thing to live with parents because we don't throw them out into old homes and take care of them in their old age

[Nirmroth]

@ameerX he didn't imply it to be a culture reason. Sounds like he is one of those weird guys who life to long with their parents in western culture

[AmeerX]

@Nirmroth hmmm

[slatyb]

For most people, the incentive is a possible relationship. If you aren't interested, there's nothing wrong with that.

[AmeerX]

Go to some bar to date women. Stop the IG models fantasy. It's toxic. If a woman likes you she will do it the old fashioned way

[wowop99266]

IG model fantasy? It was just an example of how I don't even get likes, what IG model fantasy are you talking about...

[AmeerX]

Like getting a beautiful babe.

Just stop using social media and get with a girl from your street or neighborhood or city. Lots of girls good girls still don't use social media

[jahaims]

You won't want a relationship until you mature. Your mentality is very immature for your age.

[Anonymous]

A reminder of what I've always hated and I know I have had a huge mindset in perspective changer