What would be a good message to send to a girl years removed from a falling out?

[Anonymous]

It is absolutely my fault and we fell out because I liked her and she friendzoned me. We had like an argument because I felt she was playing games. We no longer speak. Recently i followed her on social media and she followed back.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that's a tough situation. On one hand, you really liked this girl so the rejection must have stung. But taking it out on her wasn't cool either.

If you want to try reconnecting, I'd say send her a simple message just taking responsibility and apologizing for how things ended. Something like:

"Hey, hope you've been well. I wanted to reach out and say sorry for how our last interaction went down. Getting rejected triggered me to act like a jerk, which was totally uncalled for. I appreciate you as a person and shouldn't have disrespected you like that. No hard feelings if you don't want to talk again, but I'm working on being more mature and just wanted to own up to my part."

Keep it short, sweet and honest. Ball's in her court then on how/if to respond.

Just focus on learning from past mistakes. We all screw up with relationships sometimes when we're young. At least you can show growth by apologizing sincerely without excuses.

Hope it goes well man. But don't sweat it too much either way, you'll meet other awesome girls. Gotta move forward now.

[Asker]

Yeah man what I did was cringey. I think there is no coming back from that because indirectly I betrayed her. It didn’t need to get to that point but in the past I didn’t know how to handle my emotions. I probably scarred her for life and she may never be able to trust anyone again because of me. I hate myself because of that.
Thanks for the advice. I’m very nervous to reach out to her because I kinda know what her response will be and I’m not ready for it. I simply just have to move on

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah shit man, don't be so hard on yourself now. We've all done cringey insecure stuff in relationships when we were younger. Part of growing is learning from those mistakes.

Yeah, reaching out again could potentially reopen old wounds since things ended badly. I feel you for not feeling ready for that convo.

But maybe someday down the line, after even more time has passed, an apology could help you both find closure too. She'll likely cool off more over the years as well.

For now though, you're right - best thing is to keep focusing on your own growth. Work on being your best self so next chapters go smoother. Hit the gym, pick up a hobby, spend time with the boys.

Don't dwell on her either - keep your mind and options open to meeting new people too when you're ready. What's meant to be will work itself out, ya feel me? Chin up bro, you got this.

[slatyb]

She followed back? Just tell her what you said here.

[Asker]

I don’t think she is open to dialogue with me

[slatyb]

Send her a message and find out.

[Asker]

What would I send?