Why does straight up romantic affection not do anything to me, why do I prefer to start off as friends who like eachother, is this normal?

[lamuñekita]

someone told me it was weird i prefer to meet someone, who i find attractive and start off as friends (even if it lasts like a month before falling in love). i find dating so much more natural this way, going at a nice and easy pace also the fun part of making friends with their friends and them getting along with mine, and going out in groups (a bit like in HS or college). if it doesn’t end up in anything i don’t mind either.

i know a lot of people desperate for a partner who would rather meet someone and immediately hit it off romantically (flowers, dates, kisses, etc)

i physically feel like i cannot accept it because it doesn’t seem genuine. they barely know me and we don’t have any sort of connection but already show me romantic affection. it’s awkward

do other people think the same as me?

[BarryLiverstone]

You are used to this pattern and you don’t really want to start as real friends. What you want is the guy to show he’s reliable and interested in getting to know you before any feelings develop and before romance gets involved. You don’t want to rush into anything and risk getting hurt.


Or am I wrong?

[lamuñekita]

yes i think you described it perfectly

[BarryLiverstone]

Yep. And this is why when someone begins too strongly with the flowers and compliments and physical touch you are turned off. It’s because you want to feel a connection to them and feel safe before allowing that part to open up. It makes sense to me

[NathanDavis]

I've had it like that as well yes...

half of the time... I ended up in relationships when we started as friends...

so, it's not rare

[BoopBoopBeep]

Several of my girlfriends have started out as good friends. I think it's fairly natural.

[HouseMoat]

Because how can you like someone, you don't even know. You get to know someone, by befriending them. The best relationships start off, as friends

[MikeTheBartender]

Women need to build comfort first. Perfectly normal