Why have I never experienced mutual attraction?

[Anonymous]

or have i not noticed? just feeling a little sad, ugly even, because the only guys that express interest in me are middle-aged/old creeps, or just really unattractive. i feel extremely distant from guys around my own age, they seem to just... not like what they see? i dont think women my age want me either, although i haven't really bothered to explore my attraction for females so i won't make any solid assumptions on that. what can i do so people from MY OWN GENERATION take a reciprocated interest in me? im so bored of being dry, both sexually and romantically, but i have no options besides men on their deathbed

[Levin]

How do you feel about your own sexuality? Is it something you feel comfortable expressing to others, or do you have any particular negative ideas about it?

As someone that can be aloof, sexually cold, trapped inside my head, undemonstrative, at least in the past, and I'm not saying this applies to you. But one theory that I could come up with, is, it's all well and good expecting people to come up to you and to whisk you off your feet, what have you,

But if I, as an interested guy, came up to a woman, and found her closed up, insecure, undemonstrative, then I'd just perceive that as rejection. It's not easy for a guy to approach, when he does, he needs signals and indications that there is mutual interest. What I'm trying to say is, even if you expect the guy to take an active role (which is reasonable), you still need to have the courage to give some of yourself in the whole dynamics of dating and courting. If you won't open up, well, no guy can force you to.

But of course, I just make assumptions. I can't know what is going on without properly getting to know you.

Dating is not easy anyway. Especially not for discerning and romantic people.

Sometimes one can overthink things. To go with the flow, to be physical, to luxuriate in the physical. This can be another strategy.

[Asker]

i am not interested in dating i just want sex

[Levin]

Not to rub it in, but shouldn't be hard for a 20 year old female to get sex :P

[Asker]

if it was easy i wouldn't have asked this question and i wouldn't be a virgin lol... and like i said, so far seems like only old and unattractive men are interested in doing that with me

[Levin]

You mean, codgers like 33 year olds, right? =/

[Levin]

You look attractive on your profile pic. I don't see why you couldn't get laid.

[Asker]

guys my age dont think so🤷‍♀️

[Levin]

Maybe if you're using sex to 'fill a void', or to feel valued, then maybe, you know, deep down it's not what you want, and you'll subconsciously turn it away. Hey, just thinking out the box.

But try and value yourself if you can. I'm sure you're an attractive girl. Try and do things from a position of power. Positively, would be my advice.

[Asker]

i dont want it for those reasons i just want to have sex bc im a human being and sick of non intentional celibacy

[Asker]

this is about me never having experienced mutual attraction, not whether or not im self destructive and depressed

[Levin]

Well, I know how you feel.

[Rjking22]

They could be intimidated or if you want an actual relationship and they dont they just want friends with benefits they may overlook you. It's not a reflection of how you look but how you carry yourself and if your a strong independent person that makes it harder too

[Asker]

im not interested in having relationships yet but they wouldn't know that anyway because the topic never arises, i get friend-zoned immediately lol

[Rjking22]

Ugh I know that feeling I'm sorry. They might think you have no interest in them I dont really think a woman can be too nice and get friendzoned but I could be wrong

[Rjking22]

From what I can see in your profile pic I'm not seein a reason there either you are attractive

[Asker]

im not even that nice🤷‍♀️ the only reason that makes sense is something about me turns people off

[Rjking22]

Would you say your a confident person that doesn't take crap from people?

[Asker]

im not confident no, but i am assertive? i find that a really unfair reason to be alone and unwanted though. should i be a pushover and let people mess me around? lmao

[Rjking22]

No you shouldn't but that explains a lot. Younger guys usually wanna feel in charge that they can get you to to what they want. The reason older guys like you is you dont play games you know how to speak up and get what you want/ deserve. Younger guys probably think your bitchy but your not you just dont let them play bullshit games. Honestly that's a trait I admire but hey I'm one of those older guys lol

[Asker]

thats a perfect reason to give up and just not think about this anymore to be honest

[Asker]

i wish i was asexual, it really hurts never getting what i desire, at least asexual people dont care

[Rjking22]

It's not hopeless there are younger guys that do like that. Honestly unless your looking for a total fuckboy it's always hard to find what you want no matter what that may be. Sorry

[Rjking22]

I definitely get not wanting to be with a guy that could be your dad your points are 100% valid and I dont think your shallow you just want be appreciated by your peers that's normal again not impossible but I'm sorry it's so tough for you I can relate in a few ways

[Asker]

haha yeah can't be bothered, i think ill just try force myself to stop wanting things. thank you for your kindness tho

[Rjking22]

It's ok to want what you want just dont be so focused on that, that you may miss an opportunity along the way. Sometimes the best things and people are unexpected. Not a problem glad I could... well help i hope or at least shed some light

[Anonymous]

You probably act differently around people you’re attracted to. Get out of your head and treat sexy people just like anyone.

[Asker]

you’re wrong

[Opinion Owner]

The other tip for anyone then, is to hit the gym. Makes people look great and have some sexy vibes.

[Asker]

i have considered that yeah!

[Opinion Owner]

Go for it. You’ll never regret working out.

[LovelyFlower]

Stop giving a shit how people see you. You just gotta think & know that you are the shit and that you are bomb af.

[Asker]

how naive

[tzdc21]

Check your Instagram. I guarantee there's a bunch of guys in your DMS wanting to get in your pants, just like every other girl in the planet. Once you see that you'll feel better. But don't let it go to your head either, because a lot of women tend to feel so entitled and superior when they see all those DMS. DON'T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD.

[nonratracereality]

Interest knows no bounda8or age. When there is a connection you'll know you can't force it no matter what because it won't work at least not the way it was intended.

[someone2]

Well you are attractive , maybe you need more time or something like that , or maybe you are reflecting something that would make guys stay away from you

[Asker]

i think its the latter, but my idiot brain still asked the question anyways. im definitely not any guys ideal girl, i am not sweet, i stick to my opinions and stuff like that, i dont really relate to a lot of girls? the way they are, from what I've witnessed, is really alien to me

[someone2]

Well with this traits you will find someone that likes them , I mean I don't mind if I knew a girl with this traits , maybe you just need to take more time and you will be good

[Gludiusmax]

Younger guys are just not sure what they want either. You have time to have fun and continue look for the right SO. Explore and if you are not sure about your sexuality then test those avenues also. Relax and live

[Asker]

thanks, i am sure of my sexuality btw? just never really liked a girl enough to pursue anything

[SngBirdy]

Its hard to give advice on how little we know about you.
So im just gonna go with that: Dress and behave like people from your own generation

[GingerGuy]

You're not alone, I never have either, it always seems to be one sided. At least you're still young! lol

[ATuairiscean]

You are only 20 - Plenty of time - Your age appropriate prince will come :)

[Eryxx]

Same here.. I too have never felt experienced mutual attraction.

[Cowboy6666]

Well every girl has different preference, I dont know What is your age range for a guy? Turn off things etc.

[Asker]

what? that doesn't help at all. i said my preference already “guys around my age”

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/qk3OFZlMJyY

[ChronicThinker]

Mental issues or asexuality.

[RIVERTAY888]

nope l wish