Texting but active on dating apps?

[eva34]

Hi. I've been texting with this guy for over a month now. Met on a dating app, we don't live in the same country but 2 hour flight away. We talk every day and have already confessed multiple times that we like each other. But as I can see, he is still active on this dating app. Personally, I don't have this will to explore other options as I already developed some feelings for him (I know this is bad :().

I was at a birthday party recently and one guy asked me out on a date. Should I go? It bothers me a lot because with this first guy I don't have this chance yet since it's long distance. I like him very much and going on a date would make me feel bad. But I am only thinking now, if he can possibly be doing it, why wouldn't I? But still, I'm afraid if I start giving attention to others, I won't be that interested in him anymore and don't want this to happen. Should I ask him are we still texting with others and going on dates or is it too early for this? Please help!

[HollyK21]

When you decide to use a dating app, it’s important to keep in mind that you are all on there looking for something, whether it’s serious or not. You all have the right to explore your options and not put all your eggs in one basket. What you’re doing mentally is committing to a connection and feeling upset that he isn’t doing the same, which to me isn’t very fair. You don’t understand how he can basically keep up with multiple women, but why not? He’s single completely and seeing which woman fits best for him. It’s ok to not exclusively have his attention so soon, it might be good for you to have your options open as well and yes, go on that date. This doesn’t sound like a very hopeful situation anyway, mainly due to being in totally different countries. It would be so freaking expensive to visit, pay for hotel, activities, travel, missing work, all this should be factored into your decision making.

[Anonymous]

i get your concern, but he is allowed too. you're only texting, no date, you guys live far away. he can still like you and say he likes you, but no commitment has been made. guys are different than girls. once a girl finds someone, she stays off the app. guys, on the other hand, are still looking for options.

do not ask him why he's still active on the app tho, unless you two were in a relationship and seriously dating.

seeing how this could turn into a long distance situation, not ideal at all, i'd try to look for other options closer. why not go on a date with that guy? i get you like the other dude, but it just seems unrealistic at this point. you are putting way too much into this guy on the app. do not romanticize him, it's only been a month

[eva34]

Yeah but it's so messed up, how can you say good morning and good night to more than one person? It doesn't seem fair at all, can't you just try with one person and get to know them well. Now his attention is spread on multiple women and he cannot really put the real effort in each relationship, it's not possible.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know, it's just the way guys work unfortunately

[JackStany]

He doesn't respect you. Why do you respect him? In my opinion, you should end your relationship with him. He's looking for someone better than you. Once he finds someone better, he'll forget about you.

[Avicenna]

First decide if you want to be exclusive, then see if he wants to. If you haven't met in person and aren't exclusive, you can't expect him to be off dating apps.

[Iron_Man]

I thought you already had somebody you were involved with talk to the guy and ask him why is he still on the dating app?

[Anonymous]

Texting + dating apps = a big dead end.