Any messaging tips on dating apps?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

I have recently been looking at getting back in the dating scene after a while but I will admit as a guy I am a little rusty.

Does any one have any topic tips or just general tips on opening topics or talking points when I first reach out to women on them?

I’m not looking for pick up lines or putting any one down. I will just like to talk to them for a bit to see if there is any interest and then meet casually in person to make sure they are not a serial killer and see where it goes from there.

Thank you

[DaveJord]

The best advice honestly is read their profiles before messaging and try to address something they have specifically addressed in their write up and end it with a question.

Pay specific attention to shared hobbies, likes and dislikes and the like.

Basically, if you are going online or trying online dating for the first time... you have to understand that's it's a crap shoot. No matter what you send as the first message just know 90% of women will not reply to you... and it probably has nothing to do with your message. Some will really scrutinize your write up, or pics and other will not even bother to look or care... and do not think it has anything to do with you. Most likely it has everything to do with them and their current situation or circumstances... so most the time it's just luck and timing and there is no way you can predict that.

One of the most important things to remember, and this is VERY important, not every woman online is actually there to meet someone. All types of women are there for all types of reasons. and even though that sounds crazy to you as a man... there is really no telling what the hell they want or why they are online at all. They think they know why and what it is they are looking for, but they are pretty much all sketchy AF.

With that said I have had some really reasonable success... I have had more than one relationship from online and even though they did not work out long time, they were still successful in some way.

My current girlfriend I met online. I messaged something simple like.

"Hi, Sally-Sue! I see we share a lot in common, like skiing. I love to ski, when was the last time you hit the slopes?"

She did not reply to me... but two weeks later I figure I would hit her up one more time... see I live in the mountains and there is a very small singles scene. So, the second time I messaged her I said; "Hello again Sally-Sue, I see you live in Blah, and I live in Blah... we are like 20 miles apart, so I how about we at least chat about things, given the locality."

She actually replied to me the second time. Some guys will tell you not to double message someone... but I think if you allow enough time in between and you play it right it's a good idea. She said the first time she really thought about messaging me... and she love my profile but there was one line in the write up that she didn't like. But after I put out a second effort, she really thought that maybe I was sincere enough with my effort to at least get a chat started. And we hit off from there.

But it was all luck and circumstance honestly. Just never try to go for humor in chat or messaging... it never works and is too easily misunderstood. I never had any success with it, most women online are hesitant to begin with and if you try being funny, they get put off by it, or just take it wrong.

[Guy13]

How about real live people? www.meetup.com put your zip code in