Dies he want more than sex?

[Anonymous]

I met a man a few weeks ago via an app. The first time we met and talked. Then we only chatted a little. I didn't get the impression that he was interested in me and I'm not chasing after a man.

A few days ago he texted - we wrote back and forth a bit and made jokes. He seems to be very busy - at least he didn't have much time last time. Today he came by spontaneously in the afternoon. Yesterday he wrote that it would probably be 6 p. m. if he could come. He stayed for maybe two hours at most and wanted to sleep with me.

He probably wants to see me again, but how do I know if something more is developing? He said he would have more time next time.

I like him, but I'd like to know if someone would be exclusively interested or not. If you get to know someone via an app, it's logical that the other person will also get to know others... That you're not the only one. I've long since deleted the app. There are currently no men on there who are interesting to me and I don't have much time to get to know anyone at the moment. Sometimes everyday life takes priority

How do I find out what the man really wants from me or what questions could I ask so as not to come across as too direct and pushy?

Updates

+1 y

I asked if he want to see me again. He wrote me, he might need to find someone shorter. 💔

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo that's kinda tricky. Sounds like right now this dude just wants something casual. His schedule seems busy and you haven't known him that long. When you first started chatting it didn't seem like he was super into you either. I'd like be honest but not pushy if you want more. Maybe try asking open ended questions about what he's looking for long term, or if he sees potential for something serious between you. See how he responds. Pay attention to if he asks you questions too or seems interested in getting to know you better as a person. If it's just hooking up when he has free time, then probably not exclusive boyfriend material. But you never know, could turn into more if you connect. Just don't get too invested yet cause feels could get hurt. See how it plays out and trust your gut on what he really wants.

[MrCommodore]

Did you have sex with him? I couldn't tell from your question if you did.

From what information you provided it sounds like he is just interested in sex, but perhaps he has shownan interest in getting to know you.

[Asker]

Yes we had fast sex... I have a submissive tendence - and I find him sympathic... After having sex I was a little bit nervous and he asked "Are you good".

[MrCommodore]

Ok, has he tried to get to know you better? He didn't use contraception?

[Asker]

The first time I think I absolutely didn't use contraception. I've often said to others "you don't have a condom? Ok, then no sex". It suddenly happened so quickly.

It's a good question whether he was trying to get to know me or even the questions now, whether it was just politeness... I can't judge him because I like him. That's my weakness, but it's human. I asked him how he usually handles contraception. He said how I normally do it. I said that the man has to wear a condom. then I asked if he had a vasectomy and he said yes. Still, it's strange and as a precaution I'm having a blood test in 12 weeks to be sure

[MrCommodore]

Yeah well your right to be concerned about unprotected sex, but I understand it can sometimes happen in the moment, but its good to get tested.

[bededazzle]

set your own boundaries and see if he matches them. if he doesn’t, walk away. or ask him what he’s looking for. if that scares him away then oh well

[Asker]

First of all, it wasn't nice for me that we didn't talk about contraception beforehand - even if he's not fertile and has a vasectomy, there are still STIs, and I don't know who else he's having sex with.

Unfortunately, the problem I have is that men don't think about it and leave it up to the woman to take the pill and don't ask about it either. But that's another topic. I don't know if it's normal for men to assume that it's the woman's job not to get pregnant. I don't think this attitude is correct.

He's a few years younger than me.

I don't even know what he does for a living. I don't have much experience with dating and have always been alone. I haven't had many partners either. I don't know if a man expects to be the only one or generally what I can expect. I am at a loss.

How should I set boundaries?

[ThrillSeeker01]

You could have talk.