Struggle with breakup?

[Anonymous]

I never dated anyone and there was that guy who wanted to date me and then he changed his mind because I didn't agree to be friends with benefits. I feel humiliated because of what happened and really depressed to the degree I want to kill myself. It has been a month and whenever I remember what happened I burst in to tears. Please don't say I am over reacting because I am not. How can I overcome this feeling?

[HollyK21]

Give it time, love. There’s no reason to feel humiliated, it just didn’t work out. You said you were considering therapy, maybe it’s time to make it happen in a real way.

[Asker]

At the beginning I thought time will heal me, but I don't see that. Thanks though

[HollyK21]

There’s been no real time at all to heal. Even though it feels like forever for you, it’s been only about a week and some change. Be patient with yourself and your process.

[exitseven]

I really was going to just give a wisecrack answer but I realize that you are having a real issue with this and i have been in that same place.

It will take time but it will get better. That is the good news. The bad news is that sometimes when you don't expect it the whole thing will come back on you like a bad can of tuna fish,

[Asker]

Yeah, thats the perfect description to what I am going through. It comes suddenly and it is killing me

[exitseven]

hang in there, find something else to do. It sucks but it will get better.

[Asker]

Thanks

[exitseven]

don't do anything stupid.

[Asker]

Maybe I will seek therapy

[exitseven]

at least talk to somebody.

[Asker]

I will. Thanks

[Danny_dan92]

Hate to break it to you but that isn’t a breakup.




You where sexually active with a guy that literally just wanted to fuck you and nothing more.




How do you get over it? Realize you made a mistake and move on. Or, if you’re just sad cause you miss cock. Go find another guy. You have options. But realize WHY you’re actually sad

[Asker]

I didn't have sex with him

[Asker]

And I said breakup because I didn't know what to call it

[Danny_dan92]

Oh. So he was trying to fuck by being FWB’s and you wanted to wait for sex and date first?

[Danny_dan92]

That’s just you no longer talking too/seeing him.

[Danny_dan92]

A breakup is when a legitimate relationship comes to an end

[Asker]

Actually, yes

[Asker]

But I am not sad about him. I am sad because I feel he humiliated me

[Danny_dan92]

He didn’t humiliate you. Lol he would’ve if you gave it up and then he peaces out

[Asker]

I don't know why I have this feeling. Thanks though

[Danny_dan92]

Be glad you did not just get heart broken from a person you where in a long term relationship with. Since you consider this terrible

[Asker]

Yeah, you are right. I would've be dead

[Danny_dan92]

Maybe

[Asker]

For that reason I don't involve in dating. I hate dating

[Danny_dan92]

It’s a huge risk, especially these days

[Asker]

Yeah, specially the friends with benefits thing it is ruining everything

[Danny_dan92]

It’s simple. Either you want to sleep around. You want a relationship or you don’t want either.

If all you want is sex, then having a FWB’s is perfect.

If you want love? Then a relationship is ideal.

[Asker]

Fu.. ck it. I don't want

[Danny_dan92]

As someone that has been in all three. Personally being single and celibate is the best of the three. But everyone has their own preferences

[Asker]

Single forever then

[Danny_dan92]

Basically yeah. Has its pros and cons but it has more pros than cons

[Asker]

No Men, No cry

[Danny_dan92]

There you go

[Asker]

Thanks