Why do people never want to fix things with the person who is begging till they move on?

Question

A notice whenever a guy or girl is begging someone to fix things after dating for years the dumper will refuse then once the person moves on months later then they wanna fix things

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

I think sometimes people, especially woman will view the man trying to get them back as desperate and unmanly. Thats the thing about groveling, begging, or over communicating.

Think about a salesman who constantly calls you everyday and checks up on you to a point where it's annoying. They might have the best deal for exactly what you're looking for. It could be a life changing decision that suits your wants and needs in every way, but if he acts desperate, you'll precieve him or her as dishonest and/or uncredible.

And when it comes to woman, what do they do? They over think things, and will spend all day coming up with all the reasons you're bad. Because you're putting her emotional state in a place that shows you as attractive to her.

But when you leave, someone else sees the value in you, now all of a sudden she remembers everything she liked about you. She sees that you really were offering something special, or at least, she sees that someone else does.

It's just like this: when I was in the 7th grade, they had these things which were basically rubber bands you wore on your wrist and they were shaped like pretty much anything you could think of. When you took them off your wrist.

I met, a friend of my grandmother s who was a guy which bought so many of these wrist bands, he was passing them out because he was sure they were going to sell like hotcakes because the kids were going to trade them just like the card games, only it's friendly to the girls too.

I thought they were stupid, I kept one out of a pack of 6 or something and then lost all of them.

Few months later, a bunch of kids had them, they were totally sold out everywhere you could go, kids were using them to socialize and trade them and it turned out the ones I had were the "cool" ones that if I ever saw another kid with them, all the girls were talking to those kids. That was just the kind of luck I had as a kid but it made me see value in those things again.

I discounted it because I precieved this guy who was trying to get me to see the value in what he was offering as some loser trying to unload his crap onto me and look good in front of adults.

It was a hard pill for me to swallow months later in biology class that they were actually objectively pretty cool to pretty much any 13 year old.

So I think the moral of the story is, when it comes to woman, or people in general. Don't oversell yourself. Some people are just not going to see the value in you into it's too late is there something you can do to prevent that? Probably, but one of your lowest success rate ways is going to be essentially annoying the other person until they finally listen to what you have to say. It's better to find a way to show your value that's indirect and opens up a way for them to re-engage with you.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Ugh bro that shit is so wack. I swear people only wanna fix stuff once the other person stops caring. It's like a game to them or some ego trip shit.

I think when one person is begging and the other dumps them, it makes the dumper feel powerful knowin they got you all messed up still. Like they're in control, you know?

But then once the beggar finally gets over it and moves on, the dumper loses that power. Now they're the one feelin left out and missin what they had. It flips the script on them.

Also some people just want what they can't have. So seein you happy and over them makes them jealous and want you back. Even if they're the ones who ended it before!

Bottom line - don't ever chase after someone who dumped you, dawg. They'll just string you along. You gotta stay focused on levelin up yourself and findin someone who actually appreciate you feel me? Fuck that wishy washy bullshit.

Account · Accepted Answer

Τhey have had enough. They saw that things cannot be fixed. They figured out that the promises for things to get fixed are merely just that. Empty promises.
People might be trying to fix things but sometimes it is just not enough. The results are not enough even if they think they tried.
Also begging someone to reconsider you never helps. It is terrible for your self esteem and people take you for granted. Noone wants to be with someone they feel sorry for. Unless of course they are manipulative and they want to use them later on.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

No one should be begging for anything.

Anonymous · Answer

Duh, she wants to keep him twisting in the wind. Maybe it's payback for perceived slights. Or maybe it's just for her amusement. But the minute he accepts the reality and moves on then all of that ends for her. It is officially over in it's entirety. And it becomes real for her. She probably still doesn't want him back. But she wants the entertainment of seeing him twist in the wind. So she might then say to him, "well maybe I was too hasty".😆 Because she wants to send things back to a reset of where the guy was right after she dumped him and watch it all play out again if possible.

Anonymous · Answer

When someone dumps you, you don't owe them anything, and I mean anything. You don't owe them friendship. You don't owe them consideration. If you give them any of those things, it's only helping them deal with the fact that they dumped you. When you get dumped, it's time to exit the building and never look back!

Crankor · Answer

By that point it's far too late. The feelings are probably already gone in which they figure if they have to start over it may as well be with someone new