How to deal with a needy person who clearly is just using you because they have nobody else?

Question

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

You just. Tell them how you feel and sometimes cut people out of your life. They aren’t entitled

Mofunfour20 · Accepted Answer

Grow a backbone and tell them the reason why you're unfulfilled in the relationship.

Makeushiver · Answer

It can be impossible to change someone who is needy. Noy so much if their neediness is temporary as if going through an illness or a temporary life situation. If someone has a needy personality- i. e seems to rely on you to make them complete it will always be needy. Carl Jung called the maturation process "individuation" and described it as a personality that is whole and voluntarily chooses to be in a relationship but some people either are- or feel that they are insufficient by themselves and need someone else to make them complete. If it is a basic personality trait you can suggest that person seek therapy and to be candid with therapist about inability to feel whole w/o you or someone providing the same thing you are. In some cases such as a physical disability that happened by random fate or instanccees where on memmber of a couple has traditionally provided the financial needs of the relationship while the other party did an agreed upon role like child rearing where it wouldn't be fair to castigate the person who had fulfilled an explicit or implicit bargain

Anonymous · Answer

Ask if its not just you. Judging someone else based on their loneliness, is exactly what keeps people feeling lonely; Just accept them as they are.
Ask YOURSELF, if YOU are happy being with THEM, don't' project your feelings towards what you percieve to be their inadequacies.

Now, answering the real underlying matter here. If you can come from a place of genuine care for them and not judgement of them being with you only because they have noone else (which shows a remarkable self disrespect) then you can encourage them to get out more, take them with you when you go out with friends and generally see if you can help them get out of their shell. If that isn't happening, realise its not THEM it's YOU and that your looking for someone whos different from them. Either politely end things with them, or let them know why your considering ending things, give them some time to 'be different' and if that doesn't happen accept they aren't for you, but its not because their "only with you because noone else with have them", its because you are compatible with who they are (they don't need your judgmental attitude, even if your right).

boggboss · Answer

Lol it depends for me ill simply cut them off or tell them what I'm thinking

Tina19 · Answer

You dump them sweetheart you don't them you don't get used

Wise4myage · Answer

Id be truthful with them, and it might hurt, but it would need to be said.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I don't deal with people like that.

petitedollbabee · Answer

I just cut them off.

AsaKyo · Answer

Get away from them lmao

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Set firm boundaries and stick to them

dustybiker · Answer

Leave?

Mysticknght · Answer

Dump them

Joker_ · Answer

lol @Degenerate

Legion696969 · Answer

Get rid.

How to deal with a needy person who clearly is just using you because they have nobody else?

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Can even a good person use someone out of desperation or last option?

How to deal with a needy person who clearly is just using you because they have nobody else?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Can even a good person use someone out of desperation or last option?

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