Is it unnecessary to disclose that you are autistic to a guy you are dating?

[Anonymous]

I am high functioning autistic and some guys I am dating don’t believe that I am autistic. Why can’t some guys tell that I am autistic? And if they can’t tell then does it mean that I shouldn’t tell a guy I am dating that I am autistic?

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a tricky situation. On one hand, if your autism isn't super obvious then I could see why some guys might not realize. And it's cool that they seem to like you for who you are already without knowing.

But at the same time, it's an important part of who you are and could impact how the relationship develops over time. Plus if you end up really liking one of these guys and things get serious, I think it would be good to share that with him eventually so he has full understanding of you.

I don't think you need to bring it up on the very first date or anything, but maybe within the first few dates or month of dating? That way he has time to process it and get to know you fully before really committing.

And if he's surprised or doesn't believe it at first, that's kinda on him for not noticing - but you can explain how it presents for you specifically. Good guys will accept you regardless once they see how awesome you are.

So I don't think it's "wrong" not to share right away necessarily. But disclosing it at some point early on in dating seems wise, just so everything's out in the open if you both decide you want something serious long term. Make sense? Just do it when the time feels right for you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Can't always tell on a first date if you're HFA. I dated a couple that took me a couple weeks to figure out. Would have preferred to know earlier, because then little things made sense about conversations we'd had where we didn't quite "get there" together.

[rosemilk]

if they can't tell, then no need to mention it. no harm in that.

[Summeroflove]

At first. No you don’t have to. But if things get more serious. One way or another it will probably come out.

[jahaims]

I am also high functioning. I would personally disclose it relatively early on.

[shortster]

I tell women I date. But it is less obvious in women.