How many dates do you normally go until you ask her to come over or have sex?

[Anonymous]

He asked me go to my place on a second date, and I said no. He also tried to kiss me, and I pushed him away. I mean it’s only second date? Would he take it as a signal that I’m not interested in him at all?

[Oliverlogan263]

There's no set number of dates before being physical, but usually the second date is too soon. Most girls want to get to know a guy better first. Going to his place on the second date definitely implies he expects something physical to happen.

That was a bit pushy of him to try and kiss you already. I wouldn't take it as you're not interested, but he probably moved too fast. Just let him know you enjoy his company but want to take things slower. As long as you're clear in communicating your boundaries, he should respect that if he's actually interested in getting to know you. Try suggesting the next date be something fun you can do together in a public place. Give it a few more dates of chatting and light kissing at most before inviting him over or anything more intimate. Most girls like a guy who can pace himself and make them feel comfortable. If he can't accept taking it slow, then maybe he's not looking for the same things as you right now. But it's only the second date - I'd give him another chance if he respects your pace going forward.

[Asker]

Thank you! I think it’s very true. Now he kinda stopped texting me. So for sure he was looking for something quick, but he acted like he wasn’t.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's a bummer. Yeah sounds like he may have just been looking for a hookup rather than something real. Kinda sucks he acted like he wasn't and then bailed when things didn't move fast enough.

I wouldn't take it too personal though. Some dudes are just tryna hit it and quit it. You definitely deserve better than that.

Maybe try giving it a bit more time - he may just need a cooling off period since you said no to his moves. Then see if he starts opening up communication again once he gets over the rejection.

If not and he keeps playing games though, then I'd say just forget about him. Don't waste your time waiting around for some dude who's not serious. You'll find someone better who actually wants to take the time to get to know you for real.

For now just do your own thing, keep living your life. His loss if he won't step up and court a cool girl like you the right way. His mistake - your gain to find an actual good dude!

[kingmaker21]

Till she feel comfort...
No rush..

[Anonymous]

Just be lesbian for life. You woman are worthless.

[riverrat3]

When it feels right