What are your opinions of a girl saving herself for marriage? Would you consider dating someone like that?

[Anonymous]

[JacobJordan]

I didn't wait until marriage. I waited until I had met the woman I intended to marry. What is the difference? Simply timing. I would have waited until marriage as again I married the woman I intend to spend the rest of my life with. THAT is more important than the celebration or gathering. Anyone can get married in a matter of hours today so marriage is far less important than the "this is the person i want to spend the rest of my life with"

[GregorMclane]

Agreed. Me and my girlfriend plan to get married but agreed to wait until after college.

[JacobJordan]

@GregorMclane I think it is an important distinction people keep forgetting about. Especially given that you don't have to get married to still have the exact same benefits of marriage without the government intervention. Plus you get better tax breaks that way helpful for people who are struggling with funds

[Anonymous]

As a girl who didn't save herself for marriage, I STRONGLY advise against it. If I married my first love, I'd be stuck in a life full of awful sex. He loved it, but was horrible at it and I never finished with him. In fact, a lot of men I've been with have been either uncreative or simply bad in bed. Could they be okay for a other girl, maybe, but a healthy sex life is important for a healthy relationship and sexual compatability is important for a healthy sex life... this is probably a contributor to high divorce rates in communities that push that sort of thing

[OhMyMan]

Interesting. Do you have any evidence that divorce rates are higher in communities where couples wait for marriage until sex?

[Opinion Owner]

@OhMyMan the statistics are out there... in a lot of those communities people get married young, either because it's expected, so they can have sex, or because they're googly over each other, no hate on any of those reasons, they're all reasonable in their own context, but as a result a lot of them get divorced by 35. Part of this is drift, part is incompatibility either in the bedroom or as cohabitants, another area that they are discouraged from exploring before marriage... reminds me of that "He had it coming" song from Chicago.

[OhMyMan]

I don't think that is correct. According to this study:
Women with 10 or more partners were the most likely to divorce, but this only became true in recent years;
Women with 3-9 partners were less likely to divorce than women with 2 partners; and,
Women with 0-1 partners were the least likely to divorce.

ifstudies.org/.../counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability

[Opinion Owner]

@OhMyMan your source is biased... its a conservative think tank... I'd be more than happy to concede if you provide an unbiased source using an aggregate polling method

[OhMyMan]

Okay, here is another one. https://osf.io/preprints/socarxiv/ke5fj

[Opinion Owner]

@OhMyMan I will admit I didn't actually read the full article, but despite the study it references not using the aggregate polling method, I will concede as the entire issue of the study is a moot point as we have made a fatal mistake in the discussion itself

I will say, as an interlocutor, you have my respect

[laly520]

as a girl waiting until I get married
I can confirm lot of guys dislike that

[Billlewis]

I think it's wonderful that you're waiting until marriage to have sex❤️

[laly520]

yes it is wonderful

[Asker]

I mean, same. That was one of the main obstacles when I finally found a guy that I truly liked. It just made me wonder what other people think. Glad I’m not the only one with this opinion, tbh)

[Tim2nice]

Keep waiting

[laly520]

got an issue?

[JacobJordan]

I am pretty sure that was advice as she said "It just made me wonder what other people think."

That being said I was a virgin and my wife was a virgin. We both waited and it was entirely worth it. I would suggest everyone wait.

[bobby_bush_eater]

That's likely a blessing in disguise. The type of man who gives up and leaves over your personal morals likely didn't have the best of intentions

[laly520]

@bobby_bush_eater yes indeed

[slatyb]

It seems rather silly to me when people are marrying in their twenties. What's the point? Most people don't wait because they would rather enjoy sex. Since at least the 1940's only 10% of people in the US abstained until marriage.

And no, I wouldn't date such a woman. Usually the motivation is religious. I'm not religious and don't date believers.

[Miristheiss]

Why even marry if she is giving wife privileges to other guys.

If she has been partying and going it with whatever guy perks her interest that day, why am I going to now commit everything to her, take all the risk financially so she can get bored and decide "I'm not in love anymore" and some judge rule I have to pay her alimony to exist and she'll get any kids we have and I'll have to pay her for that too. Why the hell am I going to sign up for that? She wants all the perks of marriage and for me to risk all that but she gave it away to players at the club and guys that want to try out all their kinks on her and then they bail with no risk.

LOL.

Modern, sexual revolution and hook up culture standards telling women to fuck all they want and that there are no consequences and they can just have the dream family when her "wild" days are over.

If she didn't want to make herself wife material then you don't marry them at all.

[puurikke]

Very conservative. I don't agree with the statement 'saving herself'. It's not like you are broken, spoilt or whatever. It's not like women are electronics and if you remove the seal the warranty is void. If you have sex before marriage you are worth just as much as when you don't. If you sleep around a lot you might get a name, if you have a boyfriend or two (or seven) you're just living.

In my country staying a virgin before marriage is really something that our grandparents might have done.

Some might say that sex before marriage is a Christian thing. I (and with me quit some scolars) don't agree with this statement. I suspect men trying to keep women down started this idea. The Bible says that you should not be sexualy immoral. Having a committed relation does not feel immoral now does it?

[DextroShade]

That is good only under the following conditions:

• She's a virgin, no guy wants to wait when Chad didn't have to. This is non-negotiable.
• She is young, preferably under 25 because throwing away her best years is unacceptable.
• Marriage will happen fairly quickly like within a year or so.
• She will adhere to other traditions such as taking the man's last name, submitting to his leadership, and putting her family before her career, school, or friends.

[KrakenAttackin]

@DextroShade. Well said. If she is a "born again virgin" , she can bugger off.

[SarahS98]

I was almost that girl. I had the best intention of saving myself till marriage but booze did the effect. My then fiance (now husband) and I had both got tempted just 2-3 months away from our wedding. I lost it to him the day after Christmas of 2022, right after both came out from a family reunion with our parents. Oh well... so close. Does that count?

[FunkyMonkee]

That would be nice but, the only thing I'd be concerned with is, how do I know she's any good in bed? In that context, it's not a good idea to wait `til AFTER the marriage to find out. What if you marry her and she's terrible in bed or just doesn't wanna fuck? What if he's either a lousy lay or has something about him, sexually, that she doesn't like? Something that would've kept her from marrying him. Too late, now! You're hitched!!

[LazerBean]

The world would be better off if that's what everyone did. If someone doesn't want to date you because that's what you're doing, just realized that they would have been a waste of time to your life anyway.

[Tim2nice]

How? Marriage is a piece of paper. It doesn’t stop people from doing what they want

[LazerBean]

Marriage is only just a piece of paper for people who marriage wasn't meant for.

[Dr_CEI]

I believe its a beautiful and wonderful thing that you are doing. If its what feels right for you and not being pressured to be that way. I would still date you. One I have respect for others. Two, there's still plenty of naughty things to do

[Anonymous]

I'm saving myself for marriage and every guy that finds out tells me he respects me or that's respectable. Lmao Some how I deserve to be on a pedestal now 😂 and I'm still not sleeping with them.

[Asker]

I get you, sis! It’s ridiculously funny for all the wrong reasons 😂

[genericname85]

no i wouldn't. i think saving yourself for marriage is one extreme and being a slut who fucked 10 people is the other extreme.

i personally think having had sex with someone is an absolute necessity to know whether you wanna be with them long term or not. i think it's careless to just marry someone without even knowing if your're sexually compatible. and you definitely can not know that without having tried it out.

[Notherndude84]

You do you


If you think you can honour an invisible sky man by not having sex by all means do it.
I think “virginity” is a man-made construct used to subjugate women. Keeping a daughter a “virgin” was ideal because it increased her sale price to a husband.
Women in western countries are not in bond to men and can and should decide when and whom to have sex with. I think religion needs to stop propagating this purity culture bullshit.

[najekim]

Personally, I believe that the only way to be sure someone and their potential life partner would know if they are 100% compatible is to have an established sexual relationship also.

I have known a couple of couples who waited for marriage and found out they were not compatible sexually. Both marriages didn't last long.

[RavenDarkheart]

Thinking you may be a smarter girl than I was from 16 - now. The three guys I slept with all have one thing in common. None of them are wanted back. Different reasons but all three proved to be mistakes.

[NamerOfStars]

I'd applaud her sense of restraint- but wonder why she thinks having sex is losing herself. Is that all she has to offer?

[Asker]

Oh, of course not. It’s just the most appropriate way I could think of phrase it. I just do believe that giving your body, the vessel of your very own soul, to anyone shouldn’t be taken lightly.

[tzdc21]

If she were saving herself till marriage and she was a virgin, then I can get behind that. But if she wasn't a virgin a d now all of a sudden wants to wait until marriage for sex, that's another story

[RebelinSteel]

Personally no, as I would not know if we were fully compatible without sex, I am zero problems with someone waiting.

[Tim2nice]

No. I wouldn’t waste years of my life and commit to a marriage before knowing we’re sexually compatible

[_Derpy]

I can't Imagine putting years of my life into a relationship, committing to more years by getting married only to find out that we aren't sexually compatible. Will never be me.

[Nikki1989]

I couldn't do it. I enjoy life too much to waste time.

[andreasderjuengere]

Just to find out that she's talentless in the bedroom - when it's too late?

Nice try... who will save ME now?

[BCRanger10]

I support the idea. I'd hoped and wanted to date and marry a woman who had waited.

[Berethor]

If it's not just an excuse, if she virgin, and if we planning to marry soon than yea.

[jarkitor20]

I personally don't want to wait until marriage so the girl would have to be so worth it

[Asker]

So, in your opinion, what kinda girl would be so worth it?

[Tim2nice]

Someone who proves her worth

[OfDeath]

No, that’s a deal breaker. That raises red religious flags and tells me she is likely to withhold sex after marriage as well to get things that she wants.

A definite no.

[Cubus]

I would consider. I believe sex should be last level of commitment in relationship. Doing it on 3rd or fourth date doesn't leave anything more excited later for your SO to give.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Absolutely. It is not easy to do especially in today's society. While it may turn off a lot of men those are not the kind of men you'd likely wish to wish to marry. Id respect it.

[Anonymous]

My opinion of them is very positive. It tells men she respects herself and she respects her future husband. It will limit your options to just good men who are looking for a good woman as a bride, but that's a good thing.

[Tim2nice]

Just because someone waits for a bride doesn’t mean they’re good men.

[dudeinohio]

No. i would not date someone like that. You. need to. find out if you are sexually compatible before you marry.

[admles]

I respect her beliefs and her choice, but I wouldn't date such a girl.

Intimacy is important to me, and additionally, people who don't renew their physical intimacy tend to drift apart.

[Minahh]

I see the point. She's wise. We know what majority of men are after so at least she has the stability. Even tho marriage doesn't necessarily have to mean that.

[LiamJHayden]

I respect it, but I wouldn't for a very simple reason: there is no way I would even consider marriage under current laws.

[Vegasrunner]

That's smart for the girl, as long as she realizes that guys are going to have other women on the side while she's waiting.

[Titanic1912]

I’ve dated girls like that in the past and I want to save my body for marriage, too.

[Jersey2]

Yes, I would wait but I would hope for handjobs and blowjobs.

[In_Trance]

Outdated way of thinking, but whatever works for you

[Anonymous]

Rare is the woman of that high of quality anymore.

[MaxUsefull]

That’s the correct behavior and yes I would

[BoopBoopBeep]

I respect her choices, but I'll pass.

[kaangok]

I respect this decision immensely.

[Sabretooth]

not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Date? Yes. Commit to? Probably not.

[Lionman95]

Yes for sure.

[DarkWinterNights]

Of course.

[ChicoFromThe305]

👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[DreamLife7]

Why do you care?

[Asker]

I’m saving myself for marriage, and I was just wondering what other people were thinking

[DreamLife7]

Ok, does the world need to know this? and If you were really interested in doing this, why are you asking others' opinions?

[Asker]

As I said, I was just wondering what other opinions there are and what people think about the concept in general. Do you have an issue with that?

[Anonymous]

I am too so I fully support it.