What Is The Appropriate Time Between Texts?

[Anonymous]

I've been chatting with someone on Match. com, and we've exchanged numbers. I do like him, but I have noticed that he doesn't always respond to my texts in a timely manner. For example, when we start texting, he might take one to two hours to reply to my message."

One night, we began to text, and I texted him at 8:00 PM. I waited until 9:30 PM, but he still had not texted me back. So I texted him, "I guess I caught you at a bad time to text. I've got some errands to do and then I'm going to bed. I hope we can chat again sometime."

I woke up in the morning and he texted me back at 10:30 PM. He wrote, "I go to bed late at night. Okay, have a good night's sleep!"

QUESTIONS
1. When you are texting someone, is it okay that there is that type of time lag between texts?
2. If you think it's inappropriate, what is your opinion of a person who does this?
3. What is a reasonable amount of time to respond back? (I'm talking about a possible date, not just casual friends.)

[bobalife]

This is a hard answer because everyone’s texting is so different. It’s not black and white. But you barely match and talk to him right? So you’re learning right now what maybe his texting/communication style and see if it aligns with you. Or he’s just trying to take it slow and you just gotta be patient to see where it will go if it’s the same pace, it may get better or worse, or this is just how he is. I think if you guys usually message within that time frame, I don’t necessarily think it’s bad to give each other abit space while still learning about each other. But if it’s really bothering you and it’s still continuing, maybe he’s not it or you can discuss openly about communication styles. But ngl I’m usually like him if I barely got to know someone within the first week… it’s like I don’t really know you and I am busy with my life yet I’m tryna get to know you, taking it slow, maybe low interest, and testing the water to see how you’ll react lol. Someone must really stand out for me to break that out of me. But I can’t speak for anyone because this is just me.

[its_amelia_c]

There is no “appropriate time” if you want to reply, reply!!!


If you are thinking or overthinking to much or waiting for the appropriate length of time it seems like a bit of a game.


Just be yourself, let everything come natural and the rest will all fall into place, if it’s supposed to and if they are the right person for you!

[guy_123]

I'd say it may be because he wants to think about what you said. Not always does one come with a good response immediately. It would be different if it was in person, but I believe he may just be making sure what he types is what he really thinks and not some momentary thought.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I think the easiest solution to this problem might be to arrange a time to message or talk on the phone. That may make communicating a bit easier.
I work alone, and I can often message my wife or anyone else back within half an hour at a given point during the day.

[Somoneelse]

Threo things might be the case:
- He just doesn't text that much or doesn't chek his phone that much. I know a lot of people like this who take hours or sometimes a day (or two) to respond.
- He ain't that interested.
- He got taught/told by someone to wait for a time before he responds to you.

[Somoneelse]

three*

[Somoneelse]

To also respond to the other questions:

1. In my experience it depends per moment and per person. Sometimes I just don't check my phone that much when I'm busy. In general to people I find important. I answer fast (immedialy or some time later) and have notifications on. Others might have to wait some hours before I respond, simply because I have notifications turned off and they take a long time to respond to me as well, so why should I be quick?
2. Difficult to have a opinion about. Some people are just busy or dont check their phone. But I believe 1 - 2 days is the max for me. Respond later than 2 days and I won't bother reaching out anymore.
3. Whatever you feel confortable with! I have no idea for you.

[Phoenix98]

I don't really think there is one.

If I'm not busy or working I'll reply as soon as I see the message.

If I am busy I'll reply to you when I'm done or when I get the chance to.

If I'm working I'll reply on my lunch break or after I get off of work and get home.

That's how I go about it.

[Baublebar234]

I don’t really look into time between texts. If someone texts me, I text back. The times I’m not able to as quickly, 9 out of 10 times it’s because I’m working, sleeping or have a responsibility to handle.

[DizzyDesii]

If a person tells me “im not up to anything” and it takes them more than 20 mins to reply, I’m annoyed because clearly you are busy or you find this conversation uninteresting.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I like to start off with the mirror method, and then I'll randomly respond as soon as I see the text. I think the right answer mostly depends on the context of the conversation though.

[Astarlessnightsky]

There is no appropriate time, just text whenever you can. Some people text within seconds others need a bit more time.

[Zestyassmf1997]

No lag. I always respond immediately. If someone does it to me, I’ll probably just start ignoring them. We’re not kids. I’m not gonna play phone tag with you just because you think texting back in a timely fashion is weird or something.

[Billlewis]

In the evenings, I'd say half an hour to an hour. with longer periods between messages during the day.

[Paris13]

... Match. Com... I Am Assuming with Being on Date and Mate Sites-----Talking To Others. xxoo

[KrakenAttackin]

Text whenever you have something to say, don't worry about time between texts.

[Baublebar234]

Agreed

[Snakeyes7]

Why does there have to be any? Just answer when you can.

[Danny_dan92]

When you have the time

[Anonymous]

OMG, so many fails in the one post.