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Profile of a guy I met on a dating app
“Don’t know what I am looking for.”
“Want children someday”
”Laid-back guy who doesn’t take life too seriously.”
We’ve been texting for 3 weeks everyday, sending voice messages, good morning and good night texts, talk about our days.
Is he interested in something serious? I am looking for a relationship.
Sounds like he's not sure if he wants a relationship or not. Not that he's against relationships, he's just not sure.
By saying this, he is also allowing women who just want to have fun, and maybe sex, to contact him... he might be open to that.
You have a nice start. Why not meet fir a first date, and take it from there.
Why do you think I have a nice start?
3 weeks if texting etc...
If either of you wasn't interested, that would have ended in week 1.
We don’t text much, just everyday whenever we have time.
But he tells me how his day went everyday and I tell him mine. He sends me pics from his days and sends me voice messages.
He’s the Acting caring and telling me I
he wants to make me happy, today when I told him that my friends really want to keep me near them and stop me from relocating, he said he would want to keep me near him too.
We don’t text anything sexual, he said, he’s in no hurry and will follow my pace.
Earlier he told me he wants to cook for me, shop with me, watch movies with me, snuggle with me, go to sleep with me, help me and protect me, go on a beach with me too.
See, it means he prioritizes messaging you. Most guys maybe go for like 3 days and then forget, three weeks shows they are really trying to maintain contact. That's why AviatorTom said it's a good start.
I agree with Tom and Gallop. Everything you wrote in your comment here sounds positive, Miss Anonymous. :)
it means he is either not really decisive person and takes life as it is or he doesn't want to admit what he wants cause thats too private. Dont trust anything a man says unless he says about his intentions like he is not looking for anything serious and is only here for sex. But the rest, whatever else he says how he is laid back etc, dont belive his opinions of himself or what he is capable of. You do your opinion of him ysf and trust that. The only ways to find out how he really is is to meet him in rl and see, so i suggest you do that asap. You also should ask him weather he is open to serious relationship to not waste your time. I ended talks just cause of talking about ig topics like that, if you want kids and he says he doesn't its time to move on.
It means he is NOT looking for a relationship. I hope you are not hoping for something more with this guy, guys who don't know what they want are the worst and most dangerous ones. A fuck boy will at least be honest, the 'not sure what I want' will drain you out of all your energy by trying to figure him out, which will never happen. Their decision making is based on instant gratifications, and even if he miraculously decides to have a relationship with you it will be based on a chemistry/fun which will fade for eventually and then he will ghost.
Sounds like a copy and paste generic profile, though that seems to contradict the fact that he wants to have kids, so clearly he does know what he's looking for.
Women used to do "I like to read, travel, and go on adventures," or put "chill vibes" in their bios. I should've kept a tally of how many of those I saw...
“So clearly he does know what he’s looking for” - What do you mean?
He explicitly said that he wants to have kids. This means he wants to start a family. That contradicts the claim "Don't know what I'm looking for."
It's not that big of a deal other than I would interpret that to mean he wants to be perceived as more laid back and less serious than he really is.
Opinion
34Opinion
u It is a non-committed statement which allows him to exit the relationship at any time without guilt.
That is most young people these days. I would believe them.
He is 45.
He is 45? How old are you? and do you think a 45 year old saying he doesn't know what he wants is charming?
To me it seems, he knows what he wants…
He just wants to pick the person I think.
He has been very romantic to the texts with me.
We have been texting daily for 3 weeks. He texts nothing sexual, once flirted a bit sexually and I felt uncomfortable to which he responded that he’ll follow my pace and he is in no hurry or doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable.
he tells me how his day went everyday and I tell him mine. He sends me pics from his days and sends me voice messages.
He’s the Acting caring and telling me I
he wants to make me happy, today when I told him that my friends really want to keep me near them and stop me from relocating, he said he would want to keep me near him too.
We don’t text anything sexual, he said, he’s in no hurry and will follow my pace.
Earlier he told me he wants to cook for me, shop with me, watch movies with me, snuggle with me, go to sleep with me, help me and protect me, go on a beach with me too.
he said, he’s in no hurry and will follow my pace.
Earlier he told me he wants to cook for me, shop with me, watch movies with me, snuggle with me, go to sleep with me, help me and protect me, go on a beach with me
How about you do a Facetime with him? Who fucking cares about all that other crap. Let's start with a video chat? Have you done that?
sorry don't mean to swear. trying to be respectful. I apologize
He asked me to do a video chat. I am a bit self-conscious though. But probably we’ll get there.
that's his way of telling you beforehand that he wants to use you he wants to fuck you he wants to take you out have sex with you and then he'll make up his mind if he likes you or what but it usually means he's just looking for some fun
Meet up with him and see what you think afterwards. You need to figure out if there is personal chemistry anyway.
I've only been in 3 long relationships. Two 3 year relationships and one 1 year relationship. And I've always dated with the intention to find someone I want to marry. But on my dating profiles I always put "not sure what I'm looking for" as the option because I'm jusy going with the flow and I've noticed that even though some people say "not looking for anything serious" or "something casual", if they're with the right person, they'll want to settle. If he puts doesn't know what he's looking for it just means if you're the girl that makes him want to settle, he'll settle. And if you're a girl that just makes him want to have fun, then you're that girl.
I disagree strongly. Settling because of someone is not the right reason, you should settle because of you, the way you did it correctly before. Going with the flow is the worst advice someone can give, unless you are really just looking for sex. Your mindset is the root problem of the modern dating, the reason why people string along and everyone gets hurt in the end. I want a man who is already settled before meeting me, not settling because he met me (same goes for me). Maybe you don't understand this right now, it took me years of therapy and education on emotional maturity to understand relationships and to realize that there are basically 3 main questions/factors I needed to ask myself about the person I was dating: 1. Is he looking for a relationship? 2. Is he emotionally available? 3. Is he emotionally mature? All 3 have to be yes before even going on a date. I know for myself that I want and I'm looking for a long term relationship, which means I SAY NO to anything that is not that (no to just fun), so if he says he doesn't know it is an instant NO for me. I'm also on the app and my filter is only those looking for a relationship. Irl the same, the question must pop-up right away and if it's anything other then a "I am ready and looking for a relationship" it's a no. That's called having standards and boundries. People who don't apply those are basically emotionally immature which even if other 2 were a yes, it'd still be a final no in the end.
So my advice is to maybe work on your own approach if you really want to meet serious women, because they might've wrote you off just because you didn't put a right filter or didn't say the right thing in the right moment. It happens all the time. That's why it's crucial to know what we want, have standards, have boundries and most importantly communicate without the fear of losing anything.
Respectfully, just because you have a way of doing something, doesn't make it the right way for everyone. Women's side of dating is MUCH different to men. Women get all the attention and all they have to do is pick from their selection. Men have to market themselves much differently to women and play a different ball game.
Agree to disagree
Unsure of whether they want a fling, a short term or long term relationship or friends with benefits. Maybe they're just looking to see how they mesh with someone first. Sometimes, even people that think they want a one thing, end up doing something totally different. One of my uncles thought they wanted friends with benefits but, eventually got married to her.
We have been texting daily for 3 weeks. He texts nothing sexual, once flirted a bit sexually and I felt uncomfortable to which he responded that he’ll follow my pace and he is in no hurry or doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable.
he tells me how his day went everyday and I tell him mine. He sends me pics from his days and sends me voice messages.
He’s the Acting caring and telling me I
he wants to make me happy, today when I told him that my friends really want to keep me near them and stop me from relocating, he said he would want to keep me near him too.
We don’t text anything sexual, he said, he’s in no hurry and will follow my pace.
Earlier he told me he wants to cook for me, shop with me, watch movies with me, snuggle with me, go to sleep with me, help me and protect me, go on a beach with me too.
What do you think he wants with me?
Tell him to be direct whether he wants one or not and say that you do. You'll get his answer.
He’s open to what happens. I have that on my bio because I’m honestly not sure what I want. But after meeting someone I’ll get an idea of whether I want to continue seeing them or not. I would be ok with a casual relationship, short term or long term.
I would say he isn't looking for anything specific right now. It means he keeps his options open, but it also means he probably won't push anything, so the whole effort probably will have to be on your side...
He’s sweet, sends me red heart emojis, tells me he wants us to meet up when he’s done traveling a few months later.
Acting caring and telling me I am very attractive and sexy and he wants to make me happy, today when I told him that my friends really want to keep me close to them, he said he would want to keep me close to him too.
We don’t text anything sexual, he said, he’s in no hurry and will follow my pace.
Earlier he told me he wants to cook for me, shop with me, watch movies with me, snuggle with me, go to sleep with me, help me and protect me, go on a beach with me. Isn’t all this stuff something a boyfriend would do?
those are only words...
Start to form expectations when you meet him. Take your time to get to know him in the real world. Observe his interactions with you and other people. Do not hurry.
@Asker - anyone can text anything. Means nothing until you meet in real life.
And he gives away his real intentions by focusing on your appearance. Has he ever commented on anything else? Like your hobbies, asked you about yourself, etc? If not. Then he's just using pretty words to butter you up, make you easier to have quick sex with & once bored... well he's gone.
Means he has little to no standards, takes little to no responsibilities for actions ("doesn't take life too seriously"), and he'll "get involved" whatever comes his way.
In short he's looking for cheap easy sex.
As for the line about wanting kids... well there's plenty of men (encouraged mind you by cheap women) who yeah will have kids someday... with as many women who'll fall for their dumbass pickup lines and not comprehend what birth control is.
Asker you've said elsewhere that he's commented on your appearance & made a lot of nice texts, etc.
If he's not once asked about you, your hobbies, interests, etc then all he's doing is using pretty words to butter you up, make you easier to have quick sex with, and once bored he's gone. The bit about going at "your pace" is just his way of manipulating the situation.
He has asked about my hobbies, he asks about my days everyday, he is not rushing about anything physical, he seems interested in my life.
Also, we live in different countries and he’s willing to travel to me from thousands of miles away
Oh my goodness he's looking for a green card. Have some standards lady.
He doesn’t need to, he was born in one of the best cities of the US and has the best job.
Uh-huh. What country is he in now & where do you live.
He’s traveling in Brazil now and texting me from there everyday,
I’m in France
And just what is he doing in Brazil.
As for texting every day. You are aware that scammers exist, right?
I know he is real, we’ve got each others IG.
You didn't answer what he's doing in Brazil. What is his education, what university did he go to.
He travels there. He’s an anesthesiologist. He went to the top uni. Why are you so curious about him?
What university? There's only a handful that offer the education needed to be an anesthesiologist.
And is he traveling, working or vacationing there.
He is traveling there, he’s a travel freak. I don’t want to name his university as I don’t want him to be in any way identified.
When hundreds of thousands of people graduate from any given university each year... how exactly would naming his university make him indentifible?
To be extremely blunt he sounds like a fraud. The fact that you won't name his university is doubly so. It's likely a university that doesn't even offer training to be an anesthesiologist anyway... that's why I'm asking as a medical professional.
He graduated from Duke. He’s not a fraud.
Yes Duke anesthesiology is well known & not exactly favorably. You're right he's not a fraud, he's a joke used to cheap girls at the university desperately wanting sex with him because of his parents money & the impression he gave of having value. His comments were telling of a "play boy" from the start.
*"player"
Just take what he says on face value and don't over think it until you actually meet , he is a young guy , his thinking is logical.
He’s 45.
I may mean, he doesn't know how to verbalize what he wants but he will know it when he sees it. It could also mean, he wants to get into your pants but doesn't want to scare you away but telling you that you are are okay to FK but you are not good enough for a serious relationship. Also, he also doesn't want to flat out lie with a commitment that he knows he would never honor.
No idea what it means. Usually if someone doesn't know what they want, they are just playing the field. Not fully ready to commit to something. It sounds like you are getting on well, but these days you never know.
Means he dont know what he wants sounds like he will take either
He’s sweet, sends me red heart emojis, tells me he wants us to meet up when he’s done traveling a few months later.
Acting caring and telling me I am very attractive and sexy and he wants to make me happy, today when I told him that my friends really want to keep me close to them, he said he would want to keep me close to him too.
We don’t text anything sexual, he said, he’s in no hurry and will follow my pace.
Yeah, so what do you think, love expert?
Keep me close - geographically.
Earlier he told me he wants to cook for me, shop with me, watch movies with me, snuggle with me, go to sleep with me, help me and protect me, go tanning on a beach with me. Isn’t all this stuff something a boyfriend would do?
@Asker - anyone can text anything. Means nothing until you meet in real life.
And he gives away his real intentions by focusing on your appearance. Has he ever commented on anything else? Like your hobbies, asked you about yourself, etc? If not. Then he's just using pretty words to butter you up, make you easier to have quick sex with & once bored... well he's gone.
Either A. They want to make it look like they're open for a relationship when actually all they want is sex. Same goes for people who say they want a 'short term relationship'. Or B. They're trying out the dating scene without a lot of expectations. Might find love, might find hook-up, they're just willing to see where things go.
From my experience, you should definitely stick to people who know what they want
9/10 not looking for a relationship. I’d suggest asking what is he looking for directly / is he open looking for a relationship, and see if he wanna take you on a date. I’d say when there’s no dates, it’s just empty words. Pics/texts/calls/videos are nice, but nothing is genuine until you meet them in-person to know the real them when it’s from a dating app.
Don’t know what I am looking for = not willing to put in the effort for a healthy relationship
Want children someday = wants kids in 8 - 16 years
Laid-back guy who doesn’t take life too seriously = Immature guy who has no interest in leveling up life, career, social obligations. This guy is probably not saving for retirement/ a down payment on a house.
He’s not looking for anything serious. It sounds like he’s not ready to make major commitments in his life and still in the “party and have fun” phase.
Unless you’re looking for no commitments from him and just have fun (nothing wrong about that) then I’d move to the next guy.
I always took it as a more vague and "polite" way or saying, "I don't know if I want a relationship per say, but I wouldn't mind having some fun".. Maybe for them if a relationship comes out of it.. Good if not onto the next..
Beware: Commitment may not be in his vocabulary.
"Would be happy with no strings attached sex but would prefer a relationship of 3 months or longer as well."
That's code to stay open and, bang anything walking. Just what he wrote, he has no goals, because life isn't serious, he is a moron, move on and find a guy that actually writes, a profile.
I don’t write a profile either
He has been very sweet, slow and interested in me though. Don’t understand how can he be a Moro
I figure if he wants to know he’ll ask. I state I want a relationship.
It means I'm here because I'm horny but I also want to move like it's a date just in case we're actually good for eachother
This Guy is Not Sure What He wants Right Now, But Is Into Chatting. Many Guys Will Say That on a Dating Profile... For The Time Being... xxoo
Some people really do not know what they want till they meet the right person. While most certainly want sex, some may not be ready for a relationship or more
Walk away- that phrase means exactly what it's saying. Don't waste your time
He's saying that he is generally open to the idea of having something serious, but that he's not in any rush to make that happen.
Ask him directly for clarity. I believe his profile already done the talking for him.
He said he "doesn't take life too seriously.". There's your answer. Lol. When he said he doesn't know what he's looking for, maybe he's actually telling the truth!
It means "Don't waste your time with me."
It means he wants to TRY to appeal to a wide group of women. From the women who just want to get their f*** on. To the women who are looking for a husband. He's trying to be as colorless as possible so he has more options.
Lol then men have the nerve to complain about the “male loneliness epidemic”. It’s much deserved.
It means they aren’t sure what they want yet
It means don't waste your time. They aren't only going to give you the runaround they are doing it to themselves
They aren't sure. Most likely it would be a casual friendship, hookup or both!
“Don’t know what I am looking for.” = will have sex.
All dating app info is largely pointless and usually unbelievable.
he's probably good with hooking up and if he doesn't like it, he can easily dump
I'd take it as I don't know what type of girl I want till I've been around them
I'm sorry but you're stupid.. lol 😆 he's not interested in you.
What he is saying is let’s have sex and see how it goes…. He doesn’t want commitments….
They probably are just looking for something casual.
That he's not sure what he wants
It doesn't seem like he is sure really
it’s pretty much what it sounds like.
not serious
lowkey passing time
“I play games.” Don’t waste your time.
It means they’re not actually there to date.
Sounds like when he finds it he will know
he’s not sure yet
Love sex or just a qiuck fuc*
Sounds like he is risk averse.
It means you need to ask for clarification
confused loser.!
All you will find is scammers
Probably looking for a hookup
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