What’s he being possessive?

[Anonymous]

The guy I am seeing we was talking about ice baths and how I got one. That it’s in my back yard. Towards the end of the convo he asked do I go out there naked. Like asked basically if I do my ice bath in my backyard naked. I laughed said no I wear shorts and tank top. Was he being protective and worried if I show my body off etc. or being possessive? Is this good thing he asked that?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's a tricky one. On one hand, it could be seen as kinda caring that he wants to make sure you're safe at home. But asking if you're naked outside is definitely getting a bit possessive.

Honestly, it's still really early to be getting those kinds of vibes. I'd just play it cool for now and see how he acts going forward. If he keeps making comments about what you're wearing or who you talk to, that's a red flag.

For this one incident I wouldn't call him out or anything. You could just say something casual like "Nah I like to keep my bathing suits on out there, it's chilly!" See how he responds.

If he keeps it light and doesn't push more, then maybe he was just curious. But watch for any other controlling behaviors. Enjoy getting to know each other still, but trust your gut if things start feeling off. Hope it all works out!

[Asker]

We been seeing each other off and on for while so it’s not too soon as in dating

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah okay, gotcha. If you've been seeing each other for a while already, then yeah I don't think his question about the ice baths was too possessive or controlling.

When a guy's been involved with a girl for a longer time, it's only natural he's going to start feeling a bit more protective and like you're sort of "his". Not in a crazy obsessive way, but just wanting to look out for you and make sure no other dudes are disrespecting what you two have.

The fact that he cares enough to ask what you wear and make sure you're not just out there naked where anyone could creep on you, shows he's invested in you and cares about your safety/comfort level. I'd say take it as a good sign - it means he's comfortable getting more serious since you've been seeing each other off and on for so long already.

As long as he's not trying to stop you from doing normal activities or having guy friends, I wouldn't worry about it being too possessive. Just healthy protectiveness cause he likes you a lot! Sounds like things are going good between you two.

[Asker]

Ok thank you this makes sense. He tries to act like he has no emotions sometimes

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang yeah if you guys have been seeing each other for a while, then that comment is definitely a bit more suspect. When you've been with someone for a good amount of time, that possessive vibe is not really cool anymore.

I'd say keep an eye on this dude. See if he keeps asking questions about what you do when you're not around, or makes other territorial kinda remarks. That would totally be a red flag.

If it was a newer relationship, I could maybe let it slide as he's just really into you. But at this point he should trust you enough to not be tryna police what you do, ya know?

I'd feel him out more to see how he acts. If he keeps up with jealous or controlling behavior, I'd definitely call him out on it or even consider bouncing. You don't need that stress, lady. A real one will respect your space.

You handled it right by joking it off this time. But don't be afraid to be straight with him if he crosses lines going forward. You deserve someone who treats you right!

[Oliverlogan263]

Forget that response of mine

[Oliverlogan263]

This is my real answer:

Hmm yeah that type of behavior is definitely a red flag too - playing it cool by acting like he has no emotions. That's usually a sign that deep down, he's really insecure and possessive.

Guys who are actually confident and trust their girl usually have no problem showing their feelings. This dude is probably trying way too hard to pretend like he doesn't care. It's his way of trying to control the situation by keeping you guessing.

I'd be real careful dealing with a guy like that. Chances are the possessive behavior is only gonna get worse if you keep seeing him. Once they know they've got you hooked, that's when the manipulation starts coming out full force.

My advice would be to start pulling back a little. Don't give him as much of your time and attention. If he starts flipping out about it, you'll know for sure he's got some crazy jealousy/control issues.

You deserve a man who treats you with respect, not some dude who's just trying to own you. There's no shame in ghosting a clown like that before it gets bad. Prioritize your peace, girl!

[laly520]

probably just curious

[Asker]

I doubt that my house is close to other house it’s not a big back yard.