Guys, what are some red flags you've encountered in your date's abode?

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Something that freaked me out when I first stayed in my wife's apartment is that she had a pile of DVDs of the most twisted horror films, like underground BDSM torture porn horror type of films. I thought, "What on earth? She seems like the nicest person! What is she doing with all these nasty movies?"

Later, to my relief, I learned that she was editing and publishing a book on underground horror films. She showed me the book later. Actually she absolutely hates the horror genre but she ended up trying to stomach some of these films as part of the research required to publish and edit the book.

Still, I was getting quite worried in the beginning!

[Rosexøxø]

So wholesome and sweet

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Rosexøxø Cheers! She's a publisher and editor of nonfiction books which is something I've grown to love, since her endless reading of manuscripts often gives us endlessly new conversation material. Sometimes the books she publishes goes into some odd territories though!

[D_Bone_Steak]

Reminded me of my reaction when my wife was doing some report on rape victims for her college stuff. Tons of rape books and I read some of what she wrote like the victims still had orgasms and all that... the biggest WTF moment ever. ... I mean think about it, who writes about rape victims enjoying the rape?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@D_Bone_Steak Cheers! Seems like we got freaked out in a similar way.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Look to see if she cleans her house or not. That would be my biggest advice to any younger dude thinking about a long-term scenario. The state of her living quarters will tell you exactly what you'll be dealing with in the future.

If it isn't dirty look for other weird shit like a stuffed animal collection all over her bed. Some of these chicks are pure sickos.

All women are guilty until proven innocent.

That's right you damn. Dirty. Bitch.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

You just might get MHO for your picture!

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I'll also just know, some individuals tray hard to be tidy and go against their normal routine in the early stages of dating, so you may have fallen head over heels with someone who is a slob. It certainly happened to me.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

* just note

[D_Bone_Steak]

I almost added a whole section dedicated to dirtbags that hide it. Like laundry piled up in their closet. Stuff like a bed that looks made, but if you pull back the comforter it looks like sheets with dirt stains on it and nothing under that comforter looks neat and tidy. Dishes are a great place to look... they have dirty dishes in that dish washer? ... little shit like that. I remember one chick had everything looking normal, but then I used her bathroom. I was sitting there dropping some kids off at the pool and every corner in that bathroom looked grungy. It led me to open the medicine cabinet... holy shit! If I hadn't just taken a shit, I would've shit myself.

Some people put a lot of work into looking like they're not a total mess when they really are.

Oh and yeah it happened to me too. Piled-up clothes in the closet was the sign I ignored. I'm still with her now for almost 20 years and she's still a shit show. I have to keep my own separate room and just accept that my house chores went through the roof for myself since she doesn't seem to be able to manage anything about her. It's like cleaning after an adult child that leaves toys on the floor.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Your pic made me laugh haha

[Beckybooboo]

A guy that I went out with like four times, invited me over to his place for dinner one night. He was a very nice guy and seemed like possible relationship material. As he was showing me his place, he asked what size shoe I wear, so I told him. He proceeded to take me to his bedroom to show me his walk in closet, which was full of women’s clothing! He asked me if I find anything I like that fits I can take it. Turns out, those were all items of clothing that exes and apparently flings have left behind. I don’t know if he thought I would be impressed but it freaked me out!

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Wally really has a distorted view of how to impress ladies🤣🤣

[Beckybooboo]

Lol.. I actually told him about and he didn’t see it as being a big deal. I don’t know, maybe I overreacted but that was just weird! That wasn’t the reason I ended it but that was the start.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Seems a bit pompous (the guy). If the situation was reversed (girl has collection of guy's attire) I'd be a bit nervous.

[Slingblade1126]

I don’t know why but this had me laughing harder than I probably should have. Lol Becky, did you check the to see if there were a string of missing women in the area?

[Beckybooboo]

@Slingblade1126 😂 That definitely crossed my mind! Then I was thinking he had a job or something dealing with women’s clothing but he ended up telling me they were “left behind by other women”. WEIRD! Did he actually expect me to dress in other women’s clothing? Especially women he was involved with? 🤷‍♀️

[love_conquers_lust]

There was a guy who liked to stuff car panties in his glove box of his Mustang. Pretty gross, and proof that girl’s can be stupid.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I'll be honest and say I'd be freaked out too. But if I saw a guy's closet filled with women's clothing, my first thought would've been "He must be secretly a crossdresser."

[love_conquers_lust]

I should establish context. It was a football player I knew in high school. They were from all the girls he’d slept with.

[love_conquers_lust]

@PBandJ_Nerd Tgat was my first thought, too

[Beckybooboo]

@PBandJ_Nerd If I happened to stumble on a closet full of women’s clothing, I would have definitely thought that but he actually took me in it a told me, “take anything you want”. 😂 He also told me almost immediately why he had them, probably so I wouldn’t think he was a cross dresser.

[Beckybooboo]

I just thought the whole thing was weird! I don’t know how he thought that wouldn’t freak me out. 😆

[love_conquers_lust]

@Beckybooboo @PBandJ_Nerd May I ask you guys something? If you come upon something like that, wouldn’t you be put off by it? Like people are constantly crying about double standards, and if you see a guy who likes to sleep with lots of women, wouldn’t you take that as a sign that he is actually not a caring person? In any case, why would you give him another notch under his belt for fleeting pleasure? And furthermore, don’t you think it’s the bitchiest of bitch things to do to sleep around and then marry a guy who hasn’t slept with a bunch of women years later? Or do you think it’s fair for a guy who wasn’t promiscuous to reject her?

In other words, whether it’s a man or woman, do you feel it’s fair for promiscuous men or women not to feel entitled to those who decided to practice more self control?

Second, people always cry about not judging when they know they’ve done something wrong or taboo. So, do you feel it unfair for them to bee perfectly okay for being judged on something they approve of?

[PBandJ_Nerd]

@love_conquers_lust For me personally I wouldn't date someone like that. But that's because I'm a virgin and would rather date someone on the same level and experience as I am. All I can say is that how one views & feels about sex is all about how they grew up. Or that it can affect it that is.

[Beckybooboo]

@love_conquers_lust I said it “freaked me out”! For three reasons, 1) Just how many women has he been with? 2) What was the reason for them not picking up their belongings? And 3) Why does he still have them? It was a reason I stopped seeing him. I also didn’t become a “notch under his belt”, I never slept with him. I don’t sleep around. I think men are allowed to have whatever standards they choose to have. I would never blame a decent man for not wanting to date a girl that’s been run through like a subway station. I see more women having a problem with landing that 1% guy that they all fight for but most don’t have a chance landing, while leaving a lot of very nice men, either “friend zoned or just cast them away. A girl has high standards, she’s just looking out for herself. A guy has high standards, he’s an asshole or even a woman hater.

[KittyKat90210]

Yikessss... it sounds like he's had a lot of exes. I would be freaked out too! What a weird thing to try to impress you with. "Here, pick out any used clothing from women I've slept with." And what's with all these people just leaving their clothes behind?

[Anonymous]

Box of condoms and lube out! Like nope want a date not a useless friends with benefits!

He was one of the nice but creepy ones! Hate my friend for that blind date!

If not for my pepper spray he would have raped me!

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Good grief! Glad you're ok!

[Opinion Owner]

My other friend was not so lucky and he is always in and out of jail for this!

[Opinion Owner]

The legal system

[Jamie05rhs]

Holy shit!

[ManOnFire]

She literally had large framed photos of her own face up on her walls. Talk about extremely egotistical.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Wowsers! I guess slightly better than photos of all her exes, but that's crazy!

[Wallythewalrus2]

That’s my kind of woman!

[Beckybooboo]

@Wallythewalrus2 🤦‍♀️

[exitseven]

My old girlfriend was a real slob. She used to pile her clothes on the bed and just pick through the pile until she found something clean to wear. She had a puppy when was not trained. More than once I stepped in dog doo at her place. Looking back it was a horror show.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Ooopsie poopsie doesn't have a great ring to it!

[exitseven]

You would not believe the way she lived. I wonder if she still is a slob.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Some people only get worse with time. Really depends on who has influence on them. I made some changes for someone, we didn't stay together, but the changes were good and gave stood the test of time😊

[EmyyWolf]

My sister is like that. And her gullible beta boyfriend just pulls through all that.
Cause he doesn’t know how to obtain other pussy.

[Zestyassmf1997]

Hmmm…literal political propaganda posters on the wall. Otherwise, I’ve never seen anything that I’ve come to associate with negative traits. People talk shit about messy bedrooms but whatever.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Did she get your vote? Thst could have been a welcome sight, or maybe not depending on your political leanings🤣

[Zestyassmf1997]

Even if they agreed with my political leanings I’d be put off. She got my vote for a few months.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I see female friend's abodes years before they reach the point of being considered for a date, I've not seen any dwelling red flags, just personality ones.

But just so the women are aware, some of us actually want a (not crazy) woman who has lots of cats... and collectable toys... and books... and video games.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Oh, now that I think of it, not having collectable toys, books, or videogames everywhere is a red flag.

No pets because she dislikes them is also a red flag.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Pets are awesome-just can't handle cats 😊. Books are a big plus for me.
Thanks for sharing!

[TheSpaceGnome]

Heresy! Cats are best pets. 🐆
But yes, books are great.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

My watering eyes and sneezing nose would not appreciate kitty cats around. Just a fact of my life and my wife's

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats horrible, but you can still get a sphynx cat though. They are hairless and good for cat allergies.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I dated a guy who was living out his suitcases & boxes for months.

He had more than enough cabinets, closets & drawers in his apartment.

One day, I organized his entire wardrobe, accessories, etc... basically, his apartment, for him.

I used the boxes to donate my own discards.

[FunkyMonkee]

Cats. I'm allergic to them and hate the nasty little bastards.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I'm with you. Even if I really had a sincere interest in lady, I can't handle the cats. It's not much fun being on a date and constantly sneezing with the cat dander posessing her clothing.

[FunkyMonkee]

My ex-fiance had a cat but it never much came around her and would always hide when I was around. Come to think of it, all 3 of my ex's had cats but I wasn't allergic to all of them, at least not girlfriend 1's cats. She had 2 Siamese so, maybe it's certain breeds that I'm allergic to. I'm allergic to dogs but I've always had dogs. but, about 25 years ago, I discovered why. They were all long-hairs! My ex-fiance eventually got 3 dogs and I was fiercely allergic to all of them! They were all wired-haired dogs! All I had to do was walk in her front door and the snot factory went full steam ahead!! With any of my dogs, I could lay with them, play with them, pet them, what have you, and I had no problem. Even if I gave them a good scratching, I MIGHT sneeze once or twice! So, maybe I'm the same way with cats and I'm not allergic to the ones Sally and Anu had. I WAS allergic to Carol's cats and she had 6 of them!

[Anonymous]

Ex girlfriend who was had become a lesbian. Ended up having sex with her one night when he passed out after sex. Never even felt attracted to another woman once but there was something magnetic about her and the orgasms omg.

[NathanDavis]

patches at the garden...

[NathanDavis]

and I wish I was kidding...

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Oh dear Mr. Davis! Sew your seeds carefully!

[NathanDavis]

curious to a fault... sometimes

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What does patches mean?

[NathanDavis]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 lol... (=

slightly off green, yellowish, brownish spots on the overall greenish garden... means something could have been buried recently, or something else happened right there...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Uh-oh… What could they possibly bury there?

[NathanDavis]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 a treasure? a body? secrets? haha

[CozyCoffin]

A friend of mine went to his then girlfriend's house for the first time after they declared exclusivity, just for him to come face to face with her ex. Instantly made him dump her.

[Radiate143]

Mirrors on the ceiling.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

What if they broke! What a horrific event that would be!

[Radiate143]

No they were made for walls and other activities... obviously. I never found out.

[slatyb]

Belongings in plastic bags, little furniture.

[Sugar100]

Talking/being on your phone whole time.

[boobliker]

smells, to strong good or bad.

[Charliefretz329]

Dirty house.