Hi everyone opinions?

[Anonymous]

Hi IAM 35 this month and I like a guy at 23 it says online it's ok and my sister is 29 and she's going with a guy that is 12 years older than him he still cool being friends until he's a bit older then ask him out he's my singing class teacher he's so nice beautiful looking everything I've always wanted in a guy he's smart great to I love his accent to but what do you think people say as long as he's over 18 it's fine but what if people look at me weird that's all opinions on things I just said thank you?

Updates

3 mo

Mama what

[bycrazy]

Age differences in relationships can vary widely, and ultimately, what matters most is the compatibility, mutual respect, and communication between the individuals involved. Society's views on age gaps have evolved, and many people are more accepting of relationships with age differences, as long as both partners are consenting adults.

In your case, if the guy is over 18, there's no legal issue, and the age difference is not extreme. Your sister is also in a relationship with a significant age gap, and if that's working well for her, it may indicate that age is not necessarily a barrier to a successful and fulfilling relationship.

However, it's important to be aware that people may have different opinions and reactions based on their own beliefs and values. Some may be supportive, while others might express concerns or judgments. It's crucial to prioritize your happiness and well-being and not let external opinions dictate your choices.

If you feel a connection with this person and believe there's potential for a healthy and respectful relationship, you might want to get to know him better as friends first, as you mentioned. As time goes on, you can reassess your feelings and consider expressing your interest when you both feel comfortable.

Ultimately, the success of any relationship depends on the compatibility, communication, and shared values between the individuals involved, rather than age alone.

[Asker]

Yeah i was deffinetly going to get to know him first as a friend thanks

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's my thoughts - ultimately you have to do what makes you happy, but there are some things to consider with that age gap:

- 23 is still pretty young, even if he is legally an adult. His brain isn't even fully developed yet. That early 20s period is when people change and grow the most.

- People may judge or look at you weird since you're at different life stages. He's probably still figuring things out, while you've lived more experiences.

- The power dynamics could be off since he's your teacher. Even if things start off well, that may cause issues down the line.

- Make sure he's mature enough to be in an adult relationship. A lot of 23 year olds still act like teenagers sometimes.

- You wouldn't want people thinking you're taking advantage just because you're older. That could damage his reputation too.

I'd say keep things friendly for now. Get to know him as a person without any pressure of dating. See how he develops over the next year or two. If you're both still interested when he's a bit older and wiser, then maybe give it a shot. But protect both your hearts in the meantime. And remember - what others think shouldn't dictate your happiness either. Just be super careful it's for the right reasons. Hope this gives some perspective! Let me know if any other thoughts.

[Asker]

Yeah I was deffinetly going to get to know him better first that was my plan absolutely

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh yeah for sure, that's the smart way to go about it! Getting to know him better as friends first is the perfect plan. That way over time you can both see if you really connect on more than just a physical level too.

Making sure there's a real emotional connection is so important. And meeting up outside of class a few times in group settings might help people see it's not just some student-teacher thing. Once the class is totally over and he's not your teacher anymore, then maybe you could ask him out on a real date if you're both feeling it.

Just take it slow for now. Keep conversations light and fun in class so no one gets the wrong idea. Then you can build from there as friends and see where it leads after the course ends. I'm sure if it's meant to be, it'll happen naturally over time. But you're being super smart about handling things the right way. Proud of you for that!

[Asker]

Thank you very much it's what I wanna do first cause I understand what you mean it is a better way to adapt to see if we like each other thanks 👍

[Asker]

Yeah deffinetly

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem mama! I'm glad I could give you some advice to think about. Taking things slow is definitely the smart move here. The last thing you wanna do is rush into anything serious until y'all really feel each other out outside the classroom setting.

Some other things I'd recommend - keep your interactions on the low for now. No need to put him or yourself on blast till you see where things are headed. And don't stress too much about what other people might say. As long as you two connect and it feels right, fuggem!

Just stay cool, keep an open mind, and let things progress naturally. Keep me posted too girl, I'm rootin' for ya! If he's really as sweet as he seems, I got a good feeling this could turn into something real special. You just gotta take your time to make sure. But you do you sis, and don't let nobody stand in the way of your happiness. Holla if you ever need any other advice!

[Asker]

Mam what do you mean by that?

[Asker]

I ment mama what do you mean by that?

[Asker]

Thank you just remain friends is good for me cheers pal 😜

[Asker]

I added you your really good guy to speak to thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

It’s part of my talk to women you know let’s just say it’s part of my vernacular speaking

[Oliverlogan263]

Of course definitely and awww thank you boo ☺️ I’m just happy to be obliged to assist you and I’m always here whenever you need me or want to talk on anything

[Asker]

Look are most helpful

[Asker]

I ment you are most helpful

[Oliverlogan263]

Awww thank you baby, I’m glad I could help and assist you

[Asker]

Your welcome

[Oliverlogan263]

❤️❤️

[kylee2437]

As a 26 year old woman myself I would never even go for someone that is 23. A guy that young is mentally too young and any guy that age that is serious about dating is going to go for someone that he can build a life with, maybe have some kids with. It will not be a 35 year old woman that is almost past her time clock

[Asker]

I was going to get to know him first he obv drinks he's 23 and my sister is dating a guy twelve years older than her they two don't care what people think

[kylee2437]

It’s a different dynamic because in her situation, the man is older which indicates there’s most likely mutual maturity. Unfortunately in your situation, you would pretty much have to level yourself off to dating someone with the maturity of 23 years of age which is something most grown women do not want.

[kylee2437]

I’m just giving fair warning that he most likely is only entertaining this idea because as a young person, it’s fun having older people chase after you however that doesn’t mean he likes the chase with serious intent

[Asker]

Yeah I understand that to

[Asker]

Maybe I should just stay friends until he's a bit older like in his 30st do you think

[kylee2437]

Well chances are a guy at that age is not going to be friend you when there’s already sexual interest. We know there’s sexual interest. And from the looks of this - I can see you getting sucked into sexual aspects with him and taking it a bit too seriously, meanwhile he’s looking at it as just fun because he’s young and that’s what he wants. And maybe I’m wrong, but I think my chances of being right is probably 99% chance.

[Asker]

So many people are different in each way somewhere people like older men older women But. He's very understanding smart dress sense respectfully intelligent funny cool nice helpful but one thing I will not do is dive in to sex to quick that's not good see with my ex boyfriend I broke up with years ago that was our mistake sex first night but I learned my lesson not to quick take it easy he doesn't even look 23 he looks a bit older even my sister said he looks a bit older than 23 but everyone has different face looks right you have no idea he's not the type a guy that is that childish however I will not get sucked in to it I know what am doing it's not my thing to dive in to fast and he's ok being friends with me so is my other teacher that's a girl it's a friendly circle and Ientioned to remain friends with him until he has got into his 30ts maybe and am in my 40ts just like my sister and her lover gets me it ok being friends they both are fine with that but no I most certainly will not dive into sex with him I know what I'm doing I'm not that easy going even though I like him I can guarantee that

[kylee2437]

Look I’m not stopping you from doing what you would like to do, I am just going a realistic fair warning. I don’t know him personally and I assure he is probably a great person, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is at an age where men typically aren’t looking for something crazy serious , especially from someone that is remotely older than him. And waiting until he is 30 seems like a great idea but then there’s this huge gap of waiting, getting to know him, maybe even developing feelings because you maybe liked him even more than you thought, then you end up having sex because he’s a man and men will typically screw whatever throws themselves at them in that very moment and then what you are left with is your feelings and sex attached to a man that never took the situation as serious as you did. I’m not trying to be this negative Nancy person towards the situation, but it seems like you are in the long run looking for something genuine which seems very hard to see through this situation

[Anonymous]

Age gap dating isn’t unusual but in this case I think it’s just a bit too big of one. You two are at very different places in your life — you’re more established while he’s barely old enough to drink. You should find a more mature man.

[Asker]

He's over 18 my sister is dating a guy 12 years older than her but what I was planning on doing was getting to know each other for a good wile first

[Opinion Owner]

Yes but your sister is also almost 30.

[Asker]

Ano he's older than my big sister he's 4 awds

[Asker]

Well as I said I will get to know him a good wile firsts but thanks

[Opinion Owner]

Yeaaaah, but that’s different than being your age and dating a guy so young. To each their own, you asked our opinion👍

[Asker]

And i appreciate that a lot

[noohair]

Why do you care what other people think? They are stuck in a social conventional mindset.

[Asker]

Thank you

[noohair]

My pleasure to help.