Should I Wait? What Do I Say?

Question

So I'm a bit of a mess. I went on a few dates with this guy and we're really into eachother, but he's not ready to date because he just got out of a long-term relationship. I don't know when he'll be ready to date again and I don't know how to ask him without making him feel pressured. I don't mind waiting for him but is this the right thing to do? Not sure I want to date other people though. And how do I tell him I'm willing to wait without driving him off?

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Aw man that's definitely a tricky situation to be in. On one hand, I totally get why you like this guy and don't wanna lose your chance with him. But waiting around unsure of when or if he'll actually be ready could also end up wasting a lot of your time, you know?

I'd say maybe try talking to him about it, but really try not to pressure him at all. Like see how he's feeling, tell him you really dig him but don't wanna mess up what you have. And then say something chill like "Obviously I don't wanna push you into anything you're not ready for. But maybe keep me posted on your thoughts down the road?"

That way you're letting him know you're interested without making it seem like you expect an answer right this second. And hopefully he'll appreciate the honesty. Just play it cool like whatever happens happens, don't act too clingy.

If he seems unsure and needs more time, I'd say maybe consider giving yourself a deadline too. Like "I'm down to wait a bit but if it's still up in the air in a month or two I might need to start moving on with dating." Protect your heart too, ya know? But here's hoping it works out for you guys! Fingers crossed he comes around.

BonzoInBitburg · Accepted Answer

He went on a few dates with you and then he said he wasn't ready to date? He's not into you sorry. If he was, he'd take things slow and still see you.

12karen · Accepted Answer

if you are sure that he is really into you then wait, good things take time, and tell him directly that you are willing to wait for him. but on the other hand he must make efforts on his side, don't let yourself wait too long, it will hurt you in the end

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Usually I say don’t ever wait, but recently I learned there can be exceptions if you think it’s worth it and having a set duration of time of how long it’s okay to wait while you’re still exploring others since he’s not ready to commit.