How come a lot of young guys say that they don’t like a clingy woman?

[Anonymous]

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It can get really tiring. When I call a woman "clingy" or "needy" though, she has to be extreme. I don't use those words lightly.

I relate it to the difference between someone who enjoys a glass of wine for dinner and someone thoroughly addicted to alcohol. The former might actually like drinking. The latter needs to drink even if they hate drinking; they'll even potentially suffer horrible withdrawal symptoms if they don't.

So to me when a woman is clingy, she has a very unhealthy addiction to me. She "needs" me like a child needs a parent. And I don't think that's a healthy form of love because it's lacking a sense of free choice and will when governed so strongly by needs. I prefer to be "wanted" by a woman, not "needed", because that seems like a truer and freer expression of love.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I actually started off liking very clingy and needy women though. I associated love with being needed, so I felt loved and needed by women who expressed their neediness for me. I fell in love with the idea that I can take care of them. So I was even unhealthily addicted in my early 20s to women who were often extremely needy and clingy and would suffer deeply in their own company without me to take care of them. It made me feel like a good person being there for them.

It wasn't until my mid-20s or so that I started to realize how draining this is on me and that I'm not responsible and mature enough to deal with such needy women. That's when I started to favor women who aren't the slightest bit needy and clingy and found my wife that way, and the resulting relationship was so much healthier.

Initially I was confused though since the lack of neediness and clinginess of my wife made me question if she truly loved me, but it became very apparent over time that she did with her conscious choice to always spend time with me and even be there when I needed her (sometimes even making it out as though I'm the needier person). I just had very messed up ideas of what a loving relationship between adults was supposed to look like.

[Anonymous]

There could be various reasons why some young men express a dislike for clingy behavior in a partner. Some possible reasons include valuing independence, desiring personal space, or preferring a balanced and healthy level of attachment in a relationship. Each person has their own preferences and boundaries when it comes to intimacy and closeness.

[kylee2437]

Because clinginess stems from you relying on another person to be happy, which is unhealthy

[LazerBean]

Because they don't like a clingy woman. There's no secret code

[ManOnFire]

Do they? It always seems to be many of the young dudes who say they like that.

[OtterMan68]

does anyone like clingy women?