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What exactly about that seems to turn on so many guys? I often see them on forums and apps like Whisper asking for clingy/needy girls. Is it rooted in some sort of idea that a clingy/needy girl is more loving or loyal?
I think men are so used to women being mean and bitchy nowadays that we at least feel like we are valued in this scenario. Not healthy either way but most men would rather have a woman who reached out to constantly vs ghosting him obviously.
But this can be risky. Women (and men) who act this way usually have internal problems (daddy/mommy issues) and they are looking for someone to fill that void.
Also people who act this way often portray their fantasies of what they think the other person is vs. really seeing then for who they are. Then when the day comes they have a “moment of clarity” and they often burn their partner (cheat, ghost, etc.).
I’ve had two women very badly burn me over this. Both were head over heels in love at first and later I was looked at as less then human because I wasn’t who they fantasized I was. Like I am “guilty” of letting them down or something. So now they felt self justified quickly discarding me as quick as possible while they go chase some other fantasy.
However men can be guilty of this as well. It more often comes out as controlling behavior. Women often mistake that as strong masculine energy when in reality it’s very deep seated insecurity. Actually extreme (and dangerous) insecurity.
well answering with a question
why would i want a girl that doesn't make me feel special and important, has a questionable attitude and feelings for me and can make me feel like i am replaceable instead of a girl who puts me in thecenter of her universe and both constantly feeds my ego and gives me both trust and cinfidence?
Deep psychology:
Women are the gatekeepers to sex. So when a girl has sex with you, its nature saying "You deserve to exist" and when a girl doesn't... well it kinda feels the opposite. Just ask any husband who's ever been turned down by his wife when he's horny.
Because of this basic evolutionary statement, it means a lot to a guy when a girl wants him instead of just accepting his advances. When a guy works hard to impress a girl and it finally ends in "Yeah, lets go bang" it means "Yes your hard work means something." But when a girl says "God I want to be around you all the time" it says "Your bare genetics deserve to exist too." That feels good.
Because clingy or needy women show lots of affection towards their partners. And the guy desires to be cared for, desired, paid attention to, etc. Some guys do not like this though, especially if all she's giving becomes overwhelming. If she's too needy & clingy, then it's not good as the guy will push away from her rather than towards her. My best advice would be to give the guy space when he needs it and occupy yourself with a hobby. It's not that he doesn't love you and want to spend time with you, but rather just needs his alone time too. (These last two sentences are aimed at the people who are or feel they're clingy/needy).
Opinion
22Opinion
I think there are a lot of guys who don't like clingy girls too. They may think they want one but when it actually happens they may get sick of it real fast.
I think it's a natural instinct for men to at least think they want a clingy girl because men are built and programmed to be dominant and clingy is submissive. So it seems naturally attractive. Clingy girls are looking for a man to protect them and men are naturally born protectors. Their instinct is to protect. Just like women have an instinct to want to have baby, men have an instinct to want to protect someone.
Clingy/needy girls are a turn-off for me. I like a slightly less than equal balance of input in a relationship and I need to be the one giving slightly more. I hate it when girls play hard to get but I still do enjoy a bit of a chase. As soon as a girl starts acting needy they come across as easy to get and it just isn’t attractive to me. It feels like I’m the prize and she’s winning it, I want to feel like my girl is above my league and I’m lucky to have her.
in the early stages of dating these types of women, sometimes it feels really good to have the attention, especially if you haven't dated before, or had previously had a partner that was generally. "nowhere to be seen". Hopefully, in time, a better appreciation of other and trust worthiness will develop, otherwise someone may feel suffocated.
They like them in theory or for the first few months of being with them.
Once the high fades and reality sets in they would begin to be annoyed by such person.
It's not healthy to have someone always around you or constantly calling and texting you etc.
Think it comes down to "it feels nice to feel wanted" but not everyone is able to regulate it, for example if you have poor boundaries; you might end up giving or allowing an unhealthy amount of clinginess and neediness for the wrong reasons.
Perhaps, iIn a more sinister scenario; it could be true that they don't like a clingly girl but they enjoy having some level of control over another - then they try to nurture that clinginess - that's also an unhealthy amount of clinginess and neediness for the wrong reasons.
in general I'd say most men (most people in general) consider needy/clingy a red flag but not necessarily direct a deal breaker; regardless it says a lot about both parties if it's a part of their relationship.
And there are lots of guys that break it off with her because she's too clingy and needy all the time.
I mean, everyone guy needs some space to himself to do this thinking and gather his thoughts. Right?
Some men just like the attention for a while, and some men just want a woman who showing their affections in the same way they do. It's good for people to be with someone who is on the same level of clinginess ( or lack thereof) as themselves.
Its all about balance on this one isn't it? You want your girl to care about you a lot but you also need some space for yourself.
no thanks, I like someone who is strong and independent.
I work weird shifts, and spring through fall I am working out of town for 2 to 5 days a week.
I do not see how that could work at all.
It feeds a part of some men that typically don’t have very much experience with women and attention. Eventually it does become a problem though and they begin to resent it.
If a girl is needy or clingy it is a surefire sign that she has genuine desire for you, and while the needy/clingy behaviors can get annoying it is far preferable to a girl who doesn't seem as interested, might just be using you for resources, and acts like she will just find another guy as soon as she gets upset about something.
I guess it makes them feel more wanted. I personally can't stand clinginess, but I'm also a very secure person, and comfortable being alone.
Today's lesson on the Human condition *Overblown fanfare plays* Biology!
"What exactly about that seems to turn on so many guys?" Physical contact has been a power motivator for Hormonal and Psychological conditions, this in turn produces Oxycontin, "bonding hormone." "Cuddle hormone." Call it what You will, in both Males and Females.
We don't. They're insecure and very annoying.
a lot don't tho lol they like their own space. ik this bc I've seen it happen plenty of times in my friends relationships
Which guys? Not someone who is emotionally healthy. it's the men who are terrified that they aren't worthy so they seek out an even needier woman.
Because when you only attract distant ones you wonder if there's one out there that's different
They don’t once they have one. It’s human nature to want what you can’t have.
Yes!
I love being submerged in girls crazy love.
Not being loved (or feeling loved) got old pretty fast.
Oh my goodness, the pic is epic! This guy face expression😆
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