How do 2 people transition from "dating" to being in a "relationship"?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing a guy and we have spent over 4-5 hours on each date, including the first. I asked him what he thought where we were, he said we're "dating."

I'm not in a hurry to jump into a relationship, and I understand that it takes time for people to decide if they're committing to a relationship or not.

But what do people do when they're "dating"? Do they just keep f**king each other and "see where things go" as the famous/infamous line goes?

And how do 2 people transition from "dating" to being in a "relationship"?

Updates

+1 y

My question about how people transition from "dating" to relationship, is, do people usually stay "dating" for a few months, then decide if they're right for each other? I understand that dating is like a trial for relationship to see if 2 people can be in long-term relationship. I did not say that dating is a relationship.

[Berethor]

Well sex should count as relationship, but many people are messed up nowadays.

[Asker]

I don't mean a sex only relationship. For relationship I'm referring to long-term and committed relationship. How do people transition from dating to a long-term relationship? And do they have sex with each other until then? As opposed to waiting till they're in a relationship (which may not be feasible in many cases.)

[Berethor]

Sex should be the transition, so better not have sex with him before that, not be easy.

[Asker]

So are you saying that if 2 people are in dating phase for 3 months, they shouldn't have sex for 3 months while they're dating?

I think that's unreasonable, and I feel that it's people who have the mindset like you that shame women for being "easy" that affects our dating lives as women. I don't sleep with a guy too soon, but I feel that it's also unreasonable to follow a rigid rules that would destroy the passion when the time is right.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Someone asks the other if they want to be monogamous usually.

[Asker]

A guy that I've been on several dates with and spent 4-5+ hours each date, said that we're "dating" when I asked him where he thought we stood. I asked if he's seeing anybody else, he said he didn't do non monogamous like some people (I didn't hear he said "relationship")

I'm thinking that since we're "dating" we're not yet in a relationship. I was thinking to not have sex with a guy until I'm in an "official" and clearly defined relationship, in which he's my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend.

When he and I first made out, I told him that I didn't sleep with a guy I was not in a relationship with, he said he wasn't asking me to sleep with him and respected me.

Following date he showed me his STD test results since I mentioned to him it would be good if we both got tested. He just showed them to me. I thought that was something, that he opened up to me and showed me his personal health information.

I just followed my heart next time we made out, instead of rigid rules. I'm just wondering if people just have sex while dating and see where things go?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Everybody is different of course. A great many women have wanted only sex, some have wanted more later, but wanted sex now, some waited on sex til there was a relationship. There's no hard and fast rule. Do what you are comfortable with.

[Asker]

And my original question still stands - how do people transition from dating to being in a relationship?

[BoopBoopBeep]

As does my original answer. You have a conversation about it, you both agree. Don't assume anything. If he doesn't say you're in a relationship then you're not in a relationship. If you ask him and he doesn't answer, the answer is no.

[Asker]

And I stated in my descriptions that this guy said we're "dating" monogamously. That's why I asked how do people transition from "dating" to a "relationship" status? Do they just do what people would in relationships, have sex with each other, do things together, until both agree that the other person is compatible as a relationship partner?

[BoopBoopBeep]

In your original description you said:

"I didn't hear he said "relationship"

I can be monogamous with my fuck buddy because neither of us want to risk STDs from third parties. That does not make a relationship. That also means I'm not going to listen to her long stories about her frenemy or go hang out with her friends I hate. Those are relationship obligations, not monogamous FB obligations.

I would not assume it is a relationship if the word has not been uttered. If you have already decided it is a relationship regardless, then what are you asking?

[Asker]

I did not decide that this guy and I are in a relationship. I clearly said that we're dating.

Therefore, I asked, how do people transition from "dating" to relationship?

I think you're not very humble and make too much assumptions about how I think, without knowing me.

[Asker]

Dating is not equivalent to fuck buddy, nor is it to relationship, that's why I asked how do people transition from "dating" to relationship? Do they usually stay "dating" for a few months, etc?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Therefore, I asked, how do people transition from "dating" to relationship?
I answered that. I said people have a conversation and say let's be in a relationship. That's how they transition.

Then you said your question still stands, how do people transition. (21 hours ago)
20 hours ago I said" As does my original answer. You have a conversation about it, you both agree."

Then we did that back and forth again.

18 minutes ago you replied with:
"I did not decide that this guy and I are in a relationship. I clearly said that we're dating.

Therefore, I asked, how do people transition from "dating" to relationship?"

Still the same answer. You transition by having a conversation and agreeing to be in a relationship.

[BoopBoopBeep]

As I do not believe you are an imbecile and do not understand simple sentences, you must be asking something different, so if you ar enot asking how do people transition into a relationship from some other status, which is done through having a conversation, what is it that you are meaning to ask when you say "transition from dating to relationship that is not satisfied with the answer of "talking about it and agreeing."

What more transition is there? You don't draw up a contract. You just say now we are. There, transition complete.

If you're asking about the timeline specifically, as you did in your last reply when you said: "Do they usually stay "dating" for a few months, etc?" Then I thought I'd addressed that already as well when I said "everybody is different of course" and there are "no hard and fast rules." I dated for a week once and once it was for a year and many times it's been some amount of time in between those two.

I don't make any assumptions about how you think. Why would I care how you think? I'm going of your words that you're writing here not on how you think. I can't even guess how you think I don't know you.
As you replied again, I clearly have not provided an answer sufficient to you, so I am trying to see what it is that you are trying to ask.

[Asker]

Okay, because I read your very original answer said people ask the other person if they want to be monogamous, that's why I said this guy did say monogamous, but he said that we're "dating," which means we're not in a relationship. That's why I asked my question again earlier. Okay I understand your answer. Thank you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Sure thing. Best of luck to you!

[lightbulb27]

it's a point of saying "I'm committed to dating you only". that's relationship to me and it has some intent behind it long term. you define it.

[Asker]

So the guy I've been seeing said that we're "dating" and we're monogamous. Does that count as being "committed" to dating me only? I don't recall that he said monogamous "relationship" though. I could've been having too much thought on my mind that I missed it, or he didn't say it.

[lightbulb27]

yes. doesn't hurt to verify understanding. can make it funny too given all the whacky ideas today.

[boggboss]

By them both deciding they want to be more permanent and longterm

[KrakenAttackin]

You need to confront one another diplomatically and consciously decide to commit to one another.

[laly520]

when both decide it