My boyfriend said his going to the gym at 8pm on a Sunday?

[Anonymous]

Is that normal or not?

Updates

+1 y

Well he broke up with me so thanks for all the advice and opinions, really appreciated it but not needed anymore 💕

[Nick_Halden]

Yep... Totally normal. I like the gym at night, especially on nights when no one is there. But, is it normal for your man? Depends on his habits. If you can't trust him, should you even be in a relationship with him?

Granted, it is natural to worry and be prone to suspicion. But if it fits his habits, and he has demonstrated loyalty and self discipline, I wouldn't be too worried. As an aside, I once heard someone say "there is a difference between simply being loyal and demonstrating loyalty." There's a lot there to unpack.

[genericname85]

you don't trust your boyfriend. do you think it's a good idea to be in a relationship with someone you don't trust? or do you have trust issues? if so, you'd look at yourself, not your boyfriend in this regard.

[Asker]

No I have trust issues and reason to have trust issues

[genericname85]

reason being?

[Asker]

His ex girlfriend

[genericname85]

and how does his ex make you have trust issues?

[Asker]

He said it to my face that he fantasizes what she used to do with him 🤷‍♀️ his whole personality and the way he treats me has also changed and now Right after we nearly broke up he decides his going to start going to the gym, working hours are more now conveniently and then weekends with his family and now added gym in the weekends as well , something that his never done, room for worry or what

[genericname85]

ok. but can you explain to me, why you're with him? cause the relationship you've described thus far seems like a pretty damn shitty one.

[Asker]

🤷‍♀️cause it was absolutely perfect and then he just decided his changing and If I bring it up he says I'm seeing things and I'm just arguing and complaining, he turns it into arguments so I'm literally just waiting for him to realize that his messing up or maybe he doesn't know what he wants or I don't know something, hard to lose someone you know you were happy with and it might just be things going on that it's this way and it might change so that's why, I'm still holding on to hope I guess and unfortunately the more I do the more reason he gives me not to

[genericname85]

well you are complaining tho. he's obviosly not gonna change. so what's the point? NEVER hope for a man to change for the better. they never do. go for a man that is acceptable and stick with him. never be with a man in hopes that he'll magically turn into the guy you wanted one day.

[Asker]

Well cause I'm not waiting for him to magically turn into what I want, he was what I want, someone can't just change out of the blue so there's either a reason that will work out eventually or a reason that would end things

[genericname85]

that's normal tho. people show their best side to get with you. and only then you learn their downsides.

[Asker]

So ur saying the good side is done forever and it's pointless waiting?

[genericname85]

pretty much. if it's not bearable now, it's very unlikely to get better tbh.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess so

[genericname85]

at that point you can either learn to be ok with it or move on.

[Asker]

True

[blueonblack22]

That is completely normal. Would you rather just have him slack off on exercise and get out of shape?

I personally prefer going later to the gym because it’s less crowded and you can get a job done. You don’t get in shape via osmosis at being a crowded gym. It’s like the big girl who works at a gym desk thinking she is someone making changes just standing in a gym.

You also don’t go to gym’s to socialize either (and I hate people who get in waste space and get in people’s way doing that).

[Jonathan373]

I know what’s going on, her friends are giving her bad advice and making her feel suspicious about her guy, because female friends know how to keep their friends single. If the guy wants to work out on his schedule then maybe he just wants to work out. If he gets fat you will lose attraction for him

[Asker]

Well I don't really talk to friends of family about any of this, mostly this app if I feel funny

And thing is he never cared about going to the gym for the last half a year and all of a sudden he goes night time on a weekend? Sketchy no? Or am I seeing things?

[Jonathan373]

I feel like you want us to yes it is sketchy, but no. No it is not sketchy, guys have moments where we say things like “I am getting fat” and they either fix it or look like a fat looser. Because there isn’t body positivity for men. I feel that you are going to end your relationship for something that is not even happening, then you look crazy, no one wants a crazy woman

[Asker]

Well that's why I didn't say anything, that's why I'm asking if I'm wrong or not so I can make it a big deal or let it be, I just don't wanna ruin my relationship by acting mad and I don't wanna be made a fool of either but thanks for the opinion

[BoopBoopBeep]

MHO right here

[Jonathan373]

If you love him and he comes home, then love him and let him come. Don’t let your insecurities ruin your relationship. Relax, if he did not want to be with you, he would not be there

[Asker]

Yeah I guess thanks

[Dinklex3]

You know him best, so what’s normal for my guy may not be normal for yours.

Mine always goes to the gym at night.

[Asker]

Thanks

[Crimsyjo]

Why not go with him. Tell him he can still do his own thing. That you will have your headphones in and like to not chat or anything (cos I hate that!) But be good to work on your own fitness and health too. If he really really freaks out about it then maybe u shd be worried. But I don't think it's like a bad sign time wise or anything.

[Asker]

Well cause we don't go to the same gym, I go earlier with friends on my lunch and he goes later but I just found it weird on a Sunday so late

[Ms_Facesitter]

I'm sad to read the update. I wanted to say that it's not uncommon to go at a later time, it's simply calmer, or you have more time after your busy day to get to the gym. But the fact you have to ask this question means that this guy isn't doing this regularly, which is a bit strange. Sorry to hear that he broke up. But maybe it was for the better.

[Asker]

Thank you 💓

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I used to do that... On the other hand I know a guy who tells his wife every Sunday night he's hanging out with friends, but he's really at a massage parlor that gives happy endings.

Him and his wife have sex apparently every day and are incredible people. He just wanted variety in his sex life.

[misfitwomen12]

Yea people go at any hour I don’t think you should respect unless he start showings some weird signs and you would know of course that’s your boyfriend after all you know him and his routine

[Asker]

Well routine started getting weird, Wednesday, after work he says his going to look for another apartment, took hours , came home 10pm, Thursday, says his going to get pizza, takes hours, comes back 10pm, Friday, hours at the gym and comes back 10pm and then Saturday disappeared the whole day and says he went out with his sister, Sunday out the whole day and then gym from 8 to 9 lol like his avoiding me cause nights are all we ever have to go about

[misfitwomen12]

I think you should start investigating for example the day he said he went with his sister contact her if y’all are in good terms and try to act without looking to suspicious about him and he was with her? Also him taking a whole today to come does look pretty suspicious but I suggest first you ask him and give an opportunity to come forward about it if he’s hiding anything good or bad and then if you feel like he’s lying.. have some of your friends follow him or look if he has his Apple Maps or Google maps sync it can tell you where he has last went or recently went

[Asker]

Lol he broke up with me anyway so not my business anymore what he does unfortunately

[Asker]

Really appreciate it though

[misfitwomen12]

Well I hope you are good and take it as God took away your problem !!

[Asker]

Thank you , likewise 💓

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm going for a run, when I need it... happened even around the midnight...

[KrakenAttackin]

@IslaTheWitch A great way to have your face end up on a milk carton.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin nah... the devil looks after his own :D

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. If I had a partner that did this it would stress me out immensely.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin I'm an adult ffs... Berlin is safe :D

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. I KNOW you are an adult FFS, I am just stating a protective instinct one has for their partner.

I may be more acutely prone to a protective instinct as I have seen a lot of bad things down through the years. As such I chronically worry about those close to me.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin does it help you with anything?

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. It's not that simple. When you have seen horrible things happen to random good people, it makes an impression. Good men also have strong protective instincts in my opinion.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin I have seen horrible things too... but it doesn't mean I have to torture myself. Seeing them was traumatic enough

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. Do you not want to protect the ones you love? Would you die for them? Would you kill for them?

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin I don't play "what if". Killing someone would mean I will go to prison, I don't think Drama Queen would appreciate it.

I care for people I love, but I still consider them as separate human beings capable of making their own decisions. I would do a lot to keep them safe. But I also have responsibilities toward my kids, so my actions have to balanced and calculated.

I'm probably able to kill in self defense or in defense if my people. And I would seek any solution to save them and myself...

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. This is exactly what I am talking about about. I am talking about responsibilities to your kids and significant other.

[HelpfulWoman]

end your relationship if you're so insecure you've had to ask this.

[BoopBoopBeep]

haha and second MHO right here. Facts spoken.

[b_lova]

For guys who workout in the evening, yes it is very normal. Especially when they workout everyday.

[Asker]

Thanks

[spartan55]

I bet dealing with you is a nightmare. If you are creating an issue about (checks notes) what time he goes to the gym? Just be single.

[RebelinSteel]

Yeah it’s normal. It is a decent time as you can likely get a parking space lol

[Asker]

Lol thanks

[RebelinSteel]

Asker ref your update, sorry to hear but I don’t think there was anything you could have done to stop it.

[Asker]

How so

[RebelinSteel]

Well you stopping him would have likely resulted in the same thing. If he’s dumped you he’s probably got a girl and that will have been going on more than a few days. From posing your question to now, there is nothing you could have done. Yes maybe a talk about what he’s doing at the gym but he’s already made his mind up.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess, I tried until the end so nothing more I can do , he made his decision and now I just have to move on lol

[RebelinSteel]

Yeah don’t take it personal, dust yourself off and put yourself out there when ready to. Life is learning lessons, some times the answer is that people suck.

[Asker]

Lol people do suck

[Jmmmfi4]

PARANOID MUCH?

[Fireguy17]

I always went at night, it wasn't crowded at all and I could buzz right through my workouts.

[Asker]

Sunday nights?

[Fireguy17]

yeppers, if that was a workout day. I would usually skip a day a couple times a week, so however the days fell is when I went to the gym.

[Asker]

He doesn't gym often though , rarely

[Fireguy17]

oh, well then I really don't know, maybe just ask him why.
See what he says, and if you still don't know, and are just left wondering maybe drive past the gym to see what is happening.

[Asker]

Broke up with me anyway, doesn't really matter anyway

[Fireguy17]

well that is sad, however it might have been for the best over the long term, but for any reason break ups still suck.

[Sonorous]

no it means he's secretly in the closet & doesn't want you to know about it

[exitseven]

I imagine it is not a popular time to workout but maybe he does not like a crowded gym

[Anonymous]

Wow you really are nieve and gullible the gym isn't open past 8pm on a Sunday. So if he says that then he's full of shit

[Asker]

Really?

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Seriously? My gym is open 24 hours every day of the week.

[Anonymous]

Its not normal if its done out of the blue, or character.

[Asker]

Out of the blue, he never goes on a Sunday

[Asker]

Never goes to the gym much either, been going more often now

[Opinion Owner]

That is odd.

[Asker]

Exactly, reason for concern

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe follow him and see where he goes?

[Asker]

Lol then I feel bad if it's nothing😂

[Opinion Owner]

Then consider following him if he keeps going to the gym at odd times, and let it go for now.

[Asker]

Yeah thanks, appreciate it

[Opinion Owner]

Your welcome.

[dolemite58]

It’s nice and quiet there on a Sunday evening usually 🤷‍♂️

[Kingofkings1992]

A person isn’t allowed to work out at night?

[Apple1996]

That seems very normal

[Apple1996]

Update:Omg so sorry maybe he had a gym girlfriend. I guess I was wrong about this

[Asker]

Lol yeah maybe

[Asker]

But thank you 😊

[In_Trance]

you're kidding, right?

[Asker]

About?

[sheikalana]

Sounds normal to me.

[serious_miss419]

Is he usually at the gym at night?

[Asker]

Well wasn't for a couple months and then just started going to the gym some days at night from like 7 to 9pm

[Batsy01010101]

So he can see another girl who goes there during those hours after work it's pretty obvious

[laly520]

its normal

[noohair]

Normal? What is that?

[dustybiker2]

It's his normal.

[JayBones]

Yeah its normal.

[moneymagnet24]

😂😂😂