Are guy’s typically patient with a woman who they like but has walls up due to her past abusive relationship?

[DeJjjj]

[Laciejordan]

I’ve never been in a situation like that, personally, but I have a friend that was abused for two years. It was another two years before she could even trust another man enough to date. She told me that one time, when her new guy and her were on the couch watching a movie, he playfully started tickling her and kind of grabbed her face to kiss her and she freaked out! She had a flash back of her ex getting ready to beat her and basically rape her. She started crying and hyperventilating……There were a few occasions like that. He stuck by her! Be honest with him about your past. She told him everything about her previous relationship and he saw her as a fighter and survivor. He gained an enormous amount of love and admiration for her. They’ve been married for three years and have a beautiful son. A man will be patient if you’re willing to talk about it with him.

[ElyJackson]

I don’t want to generalize cause each man is different. Personally, the guy wasn’t patient if anything he added even more triggers to it. I told him I had a hard time opening up fully and I can do it in small increments so I don’t overwhelm myself and he wouldn’t accept it he would force me to tell him everything I was feeling even when I was having anxiety or he would give me the silent treatment. So, if a man wants to be patient he first has to understand trauma and ask how he can support.

[Flatmanlewis]

Depends on the man. Depends on the woman. Too many people try and wade through the swap of trauma & pain solo or think chatting with friends about it is enough. Proper, true, trauma is life changing. Processing trauma is not easy and, without guidance and professional help can be a far longer and far more painful process than is necessary.


A man, if he’s not dealing with his own trauma, ideally should be patient but it really comes down to the unique chemistry between two people.

[Lionman95]

I wouldn´t say typically but a guy that´s really interested in her is patient because he´s looking to get to know her.

[Lionman95]

Thanks for the MHO.

[KrakenAttackin]

If she is a woman of value and potential wife material, absolutely.

[Laciejordan]

It’s true. Let him walk away because he can’t handle your past, he has that right, but don’t force him to walk away because you hid it. A man deserves honesty too. One thing that makes any person a valued person, is honesty.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Laciejordan Wow, great post Lacie.

[Laciejordan]

I do have to clarify one thing, in no way am I criticizing the poster of the question. It’s not her fault if she was abused. I think I may have come across as a “bitch” toward her. That was not my intention. However, it is true that a guy deserves honesty. He shouldn’t be accused of not having enough patience for something he knew nothing about.

[laly520]

depends on the guy