If me and a girl have been "talking" for 3 years off and on about wanting a relationship, but yet nothing has happened. Is it time to move on?

[smahala1991]

Here's the situation. There's this woman who lives 3 miles from me. We have been talking on social media for 3 years about dating possibly. She always asks what I'm looking for and what I want. However, when I plan to meet up she kinda won't commit to it. It's 3 miles away so I know it's not that hard. She is 35 on SSI and has one kid (although was taken away from her by DCS she still gets to see the kid) I am 33 and childless. I feel like it's not going to work because when she wants to meet I have to work and when I wanna meet, she's indecisive. Like throw me a bone here!!!

Updates

+1 y

It's actually been since 2020

[Flatmanlewis]

The fact that you glaze over the fact she’s on SSI and, most importantly, lost custody of her own children tells me all I need to know.


This woman is dysfunctional to a frightening level and apparently cannot even harness the natural maternal instinct to satisfactorily provide for her own children is the reddest flag of all red flags. If she can’t get her act together for her own kids why in the name of all things holy would you think she’s going to do it for you?


Yeah - you’re done with this girl. Walk away, then go have a beer with your mates and let them talk some sorely needed common sense into you. Nothing can destroy a man’s life like a toxic woman.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm very sorry for my bluntness, but 3 YEARS?

If you'd have asked me this question after 3 WEEKS I would know there was no future in it!

[Pink2000]

I’d move on but I’d also ask her why she keeps flaking first. She may be shy, or insecure about her appearance. I don't know. I’d rather get to the bottom of it first.

[smahala1991]

I mean it's 3 miles. I can walk that

[Pink2000]

That’s true but you should ask her why she keeps flaking

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Move on.

No explanation necessary.

[HollyK21]

She “kinda” won’t commit to it, what’s that mean?

[smahala1991]

like if I want to meet up to talk to her she'll be like I don't know what i'm doing today

[HollyK21]

Hmm. So why not try to set an actual date? With that context it sounds like you’re just asking her to hang out that day, which isn’t easy to do for parents, especially single ones. She has her kid that she has to navigate all her plans around.

[smahala1991]

She does not have custody of it. DCS took it from her

[HollyK21]

Oh, so she’s always by herself when you’re asking to hang out?

[smahala1991]

Well she does live with her mom too at 35 but other than that yes no kid to take care of mostly

[HollyK21]

Well I mean that’s pretty good! Why not ask her out on a formal date? Ask early enough in the week, for example, asking on a Tuesday about going on a date Friday night or over the weekend.

[HollyK21]

No good reason?

[smahala1991]

lead paint

[HollyK21]

What’s that mean?

[ShadezMcgee]

You are wasting time. Find someone else. She is indecisive and jerking you around at this point. Cut sling load and find a different woman.

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah it's time to move forward.. If she's not excited about seeing you, then I would take it as her not wanting to see me at all.. It's been happening for 3 probably almost 4 years too.. Nah, not worth it..

[Still-alive]

i see red flags all over the place with this woman. i would move on. she sounds like she isn't interested and also isn't someone you shouldn't be with either

[smahala1991]

she said she wants a relationship

[Still-alive]

well she's not serious about that it seems. usually they make more of an effort than just saying it. look at actions over words.

[NathanDavis]

moving on?

from what? nothing is happening between the two of you

[smahala1991]

move on from trying

[NathanDavis]

this is not trying either...

almost four years of inaction... that's not trying

nothing is going, it's just not happening

[andersopau]

Circle a date on the calendar and make that your date deadline. Tell her that date is circled and if you and her don’t start dating by then that you are moving on. Maybe the thought of losing you will help nudge her closer.

[BonzoInBitburg]

I move on if there's nothing after 3 days. Don't waste any more time on her.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Tell her you are leaving the ball in her court and if she wants to meet to let you know.

[FunkyMonkee]

You know the old saying, "shit or get off the pot"? Maybe it's time to get off the pot!

[msc545]

Being on SSI at age 33 and having her child taken away by DCS or major red flags.

Stay the hell away from this woman and stop talking to her.

[smahala1991]

she's the one on SSI not me

[msc545]

I know - and that is a red flag for you. Why 9is she on SSI?

[msc545]

Also, living with Mom at 35 is yet another major red flag for you...

[smahala1991]

some kinda of developmental disability? i dont know

[smahala1991]

the kids apparently was due to lead paint

[msc545]

Stay away from this, my friend. She is not going to be good for you at all.

[DextroShade]

She sounds like a mess, and she will make your life a mess as well. Best just to move on, if she really liked you she would make time for you.

[handsomelad70]

After three years, I'd say it was time to move on from this broad.

[DagonbroughtMehere]

Depends on how you feel about Her, do You Love Her?

[Anonymous]

Yeah man, she wants a relationship. She doesn’t want a relationship with YOU.

[spartan55]

Dude, over three years? Come on...

[laly520]

yes

time to move on

[noohair]

I think you can do better.

[Date_a_Snob]

whats SSI?

[smahala1991]

disability income