Is it needy of me to want to meet a guy I've been talking to long distance after 3 months?

[Anonymous]

I was gonna pay for the room and plane trip for me to go to him seeing as we're 12 hours away. We talk every single day. His last relationship he complained the girl never seeing him or calling him but I'm literally getting neither from him, just messaging all day every day. His excuse for holding off on it was that he's stressed. He does have things going on in his life, but still. Am I just thirsty?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I don't think it's needy of you at all to want to meet this guy after talking for 3 months! That's a pretty long time just chatting online without seeing each other in person.

It would be one thing if you were pressuring him to visit you after only a couple weeks. But 3 months of daily convos seems like plenty of time to build a connection and decide if you want to take the next step of meeting up.

The fact that he's complaining about his ex not making an effort, but isn't willing to do the same for you, is kind of a red flag. Saying he's too stressed is a lame excuse if you're offering to pay and do all the work to see him.

You deserve a guy who's as excited to see you as you are! Don't settle for someone who's not willing to meet you halfway, especially if they're pressuring for a serious relationship eventually.

At this point if he's still not budging after so long, I'd say it's time to move on from online to actually dating guys who can give you their time and attention. Don't waste your effort on someone who won't put in any work! You deserve better than that.

[Asker]

i mean he literally always initiates contact and even said he loves me in return so im super confused

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that does change things a bit if he's the one always hitting you up and saying he loves you too. In that case, it's definitely more confusing why he wouldn't want to meet in person after all this time. A few more things to think about:

- Saying "I love you" after only talking online could be moving really fast. Are you both sure those feelings are real or just infatuation/loneliness? Meeting ASAP helps clarify.

- Have you had a straight talk asking his actual intentions and timeline for meeting? Lay it all out there so there's no mixed signals or assumptions.

- Could he be nervous/anxious about following through with an in-person relationship? Some people are more comfortable behind screens.

- Have you video chatted at all yet? Maybe do more of that to build comfort before investing in a trip. Face-to-face contact is key.

- Trust your gut. If his excuses still seem off even with the love confessions, listen to that inner voice warning you.

I'd give him a chance to explain himself openly and make clear plans. But protect your heart - don't let words be empty if actions don't follow through. An honest heart-to-heart could help you figure this confusing situation out!

[Anonymous]

It’s not needy. But I’d steer clear of this dude. There’s more going on to this than he’s telling you. He’s probably seeing someone else on the side. You’ll end up going, he’ll bang you then he won’t talk to you as much if at all. Find someone who’s closer to you. A man who is really into a girl will find time for her. Trust me I spent numerous deployments overseas, waking up at 3 am to call my girl or email her despite the war that was going on at the time.

[Alwayreckles93]

He is fake girl Don't waste you're time. Break up with him. Seems like you're putting 100% and heis putting 5% . Why hasn't he called you or zoom you? Today's technology so popular. He is maing excuses. Stop wating you're time. This why it's better in person. I don't know maybe I'm old school.

[PreferNot2Say]

It's amazing that you can say she's giving 95% and he's only giving 5%. She gave you very little details and you've only heard one side of the story. Women automatically assume it's the man's fault no matter what the situation is. Smfh

[rosemilk]

i think it's fair to want to meet someone you've talked to for 3 months

something is up with him tho. kinda weird. everyone is stressed. that shouldn't stop you from wanting to see someone you like

[coachTanthony]

You’re getting played. Why talk to anyone who doesn’t have the ability to meet you? You want a man making those plans and pushing to see you not the other way around. Move on fast

[Flatmanlewis]

No. It’s not needy. In fact, the question itself is part of the reason I think LDRs are a waste of time. It’s like staring at the menu but never ordering. You can’t even get into the depths of what a real relationship is without face-to-face interactions. What’s the point?

[Smashingdoozy]

Are you sure this person is who he says he is? Have you video chatted?

[sakurayuki0629]

Girl.. it's not needy at all.. you guys should have a plan to meet.. if you like each other.. it's not needy at all.. been there before.. after talking a month he decided to visit me from Scotland to Indonesia

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds like he might be faking on you. But I don't think you're being unreasonable for wanting to meet.

[bobalife]

Nope yolooo :) but make sure you spoke on call and video first

[StarWarGirl]

No but it is very much valid and if he doesn't comply or make excuses it's fully doubtful

[slatyb]

No, that's normal. If he won't agree to meet you, he's a waste of time.

[laly520]

maybe he is fake n pretending to be someone else

[MrDaveAPSI]

I never understood the point of long distance relationships. Like, why can't you just meet someone nearby. I've heard horror stories of LDR's

[Anonymous]

Not really, you usually want to meet after talking so long, it’s only natural

[spartan55]

It ain't happenin.