How do I gain control back after I hooked up with my roommate?

[Anonymous]

I hooked up with my new roommate 2 weeks ago, and we’ve gotten along find, after about a week I messaged him saying it’s ok if it doesn’t happen, and he responded lol oh I’m sure it will happen again. And then I said ok well your move, we’ve been really good about keeping it on the DL and for obvious reasons we haven’t been touchy in the living room, I just don’t know why he hasn’t made a move or anything. I do want it to happen again I just don’t know if I should just leave it be or text him again. Since I moved we definitely don’t text the same way, but we also like live together but he was really attentive, anyway unsure what to think. He hasn’t been touchy or anything since for the most part. I want to know how to navigate this in terms of communication. Because if it was up to me I’d want it to happen a lot. Ohh also important he’s 35.

[poshspice123]

Yea very tricky situation. I honestly don’t have a solution.


But I have a question for you- you want it to happen a lot with this guy…but what’s the long term goal you are looking for? How would both of you feel if you date and bring other people home while you were also sleeping together?


My suggestion is to clear the air with a face to face communication after you have figured out what you want from this in long term. A 35 yr old guy should be respecting a mature conversation. If he doesn’t, then trust me, he is not worth wasting time even casually.

[Asker]

I don’t know I really would like to like to talk about boundaries around the apartment. I don’t want us to feel weird or anything.

[poshspice123]

It would make him respect you more

[Asker]

I also keep thinking I understand why he hasn’t made a move, he’s lived there for 3 years and then we hook up, he’s close to his one roommate and I know when it first happened he said we had to be careful because if she found out she would kill him. And when I first moved in she said that I should be really careful about him.

[poshspice123]

Ok, I guess I was giving you advise as a 36 yr old. I understand now…

He probably has also hooked up with the the other chick.

Best thing for you to do is date someone else. That way you make him jealous and at the same time also get laid and maybe find a better person.

[Asker]

He definitely hasn’t, but he did hook up with the other girl who’s out of town before they became roommates and then stopped. It was really unexpected and I never do things like that. I didn’t know it was gonna happen. I do think if she found out she would tell the other roommate.

[laly520]

he got what he wanted n not interested anymore
move on with ur life

[Anonymous]

Oh boy... a lot of women have no idea how much more control over sexual urges we have at that age. But aside from that. Any woman that hooks up demonstrates they do now know the importance of sex in relation to their role as a female and the gravity of all related.

This reaches to so many levels. Some guys know this intuitively, while others know it actually and it's why you always hear about women being ghosted after hookup.

[Asker]

Can you go more into depth on what you mean? Is there anyway to shift it back?

[Opinion Owner]

Go into more depth about which part?

[Asker]

Sex in relation to role you say.

[spartan55]

Why would you ever text your roommate? So lame.

[spartan55]

What are you talking about, 'gain control back' ?

[jahaims]

You don't. He knows you are easy