Guys, I finally had the talk with my roommate about us hooking up, so how do I feel better and gain back control after I did something I never do?

[Anonymous]

My roommate and I hooked up about a month ago, he’s in his 30s I’m in my 20s. It was probably one of the best sexual experiences I’ve had. He found me after an extremely terrible housing situation fell through and we were talking daily before I moved in. I was hoping he’d make a move after we hooked up, and I do not normally have sex so quickly, I also am really not used to being the pursuer and I put out feelers exactly 3 times in person and a couple of messages. I finally had a convo after he brought home a super nice girl, she and I spoke and I wasn’t jealous but instead of chatting outside of the apartment I just felt I needed to talk to him. he said the only reason he hasn’t initiated is because he’s worried it would ruin things and even though I’m subletting these 1-2 months he doesn’t want to make it bad. I suggested a 2 week trial period to see if it would work, but he’s concerned while I’m there of all the ways it might go wrong. Anyway I have come to terms this is his boundary, and also put it out there the balls in his court. But seeing him on his phone talk to other girls kills me, not because he’s doing it but because I’ve never had a guy do this before. It’s none of my business and I do believe him when he said he wasn’t expecting this either, he says he is really attracted to me too and the only reason we haven’t had sex since is because I’m his roommate. I wouldn’t make anything dramatic or anything. So anyway, I’m here for a month or 2 I actually really like him, I’ve asked him to hang out and he keeps saying “we have to play it by ear.” Anyway I just wanna be normal, I don’t want to have to think about this stuff, I don’t want to keep wanting him, I also don’t want to be creepy, because he said that what I asked was basically what all guys wish they could ask girls. I just want to know from a guys point of view what to do. I really like him but the balls really in his court, what can I do gain back control of the situation.

[boggboss]

U can't as u never had control of the situation u like and want him but he is not willing to make the move for things to happen so this is the situation and it won't change unless he decides he wants it too

[Asker]

So there’s nothing to do? Is there a chance he’s full of shit. My sister said if he wanted to he would.

[boggboss]

Its possible he is full of shit but thats impossible to know its not as simple as if he wanted too he would because he could actually be scared of things going bad and then it becoming awkward in the house if u guys dated it didn't work out u would hate when he brings new girls to the house the same way u hate it now when he entertains other women but worst

[Asker]

Yes the only reason why is because I just never have had a guy do this in front of me but I realize also it’s not that simple, he’s lived here for 3 years, he’s 35, should I just find things elsewhere until I move out and see, once I move is there anyway to gain back power over the situation? Seems like he might not want to hangout after the conversation I had. But I’ve done all I can without coming off crazy, he even told me he doesn’t think it’s crazy the conversation I had with him. He just thought I was being a really good communicator.

[boggboss]

What do u mean by regain control of the situation again u have never controlled it before also when u day u have never had a guy do it infront of u have u ever lived with a guy before?

[Asker]

I’ve never lived with a guy before this was my first time. Only women.

[Asker]

And also in terms of guys I’ve been out with or even hooked up with never have ever seen them talk to a girl in front of me before, but this is different he’s my roommate we have that established.

[boggboss]

Fair enough it's going to be somthing u will have to get use to as long as u live their as it dont seem like he will stop