It’s natural the issue is that people don’t have self control and people don’t get into relationships for the right reasons. People get into relationships based on a checklist even if they aren’t attracted to that person or the other extreme where they get into relationships purely based on feelings even when logically the relationship isn’t right. Not to mention the dark personalities of the world but that’s another topic let’s focus on empathetic people.
Those two categories lead to cheating and being cheated on. One is someone’s looking for a partner because they want kids maybe their family is pressuring them as well as pressuring them to find a certain type of partner regardless of if that’s who they’re attracted to. People who are also presenting a checklist of themselves especially the men out there sometimes fail to understand that nobody genuinely falls for job titles, financial status, or any checked box. Sadly, they will find themselves with women that are just using them and eventually chase off women who really want something. As for women this happens too but with other things.
Some people also get into relationships purely based on emotions. Those emotions over time fade away and they realize either I’m with someone using me…. Or I don’t know this person…. I never knew this person. We have nothing in common. He/she meets none of my wants and needs. So they go searching for that
People in superficial relationships also seek that emotional connection and will go looking for that.
It’s people looking to fill a void. A real relationship takes both logic and emotion to work. You need to be logical to spot manipulation obviously as well as know what you’re wanting from a relationship and not be with someone who’s using you. Etc. But there also has to be that emotional bond.
Monogamy has been working well for quite some time. Now that we have less of it, society is becoming unstable and birth levels have fallen below replacement levels.
Now everyone can be self centered as spend all their money and time on themselves while missing out on having a family. Feminists killed the family which is funny as that was their focus just one generation ago. They would die for their family. Hopefully Darwinism is just culling out the bad mothers and their traits.
It is funny as the voting is the same as the divorce rate. 57% natural and 43% Social Construct. Adjusting for the people who have multiple divorces and they drive the rate up, the divorce rate would be in the 40% range if that is accounted for in the math.
I think monogamy is natural in the way that jealousy is natural. Even babies/toddlers get jealous and want "mommy/daddy all to themselves". We teach children to overcome these desires and to meet/trust new people but I do think that we have a primitive desire to be seen/understood fully by a primary person. Ironically, I think we can become polygamous by being taught how to overcome these feelings of jealousy and to lean into the abundance mindset. The people who are authentically polyamourous usually have an abundance of self awareness, compassion, and empathy. They acknowledge their jealousy and work through it intentionally. I am not talking about the people who only see polyamory as a way to have more sexual partners.
Personally, I have never felt such need to overcome monogamy. It has worked well for me so far in life and it is endorsed by society. I do acknowledge that if polyamory were the norm, I could see myself making the argument that polyamory is natural with proper parenting and guidance.
In nature most animals are not monogamous because it limits the spreading of the males' genes. BUT, because humans have a very long latency period: meaning young humans cannot take care of themselves and will die before they're old enough to spread their genes, having monogamous couples for a period of time assures that their offspring will be old enough to survive on their own.
If our kids reached adulthood in a yearor less, we'd have little need to be mooogamous.
My aim on GAG is to decode love, dating, and all the messy mind games in between 😏
Monogamy is partly natural, partly social contract. Humans are capable of bonding deeply with one person, but we’re also biologically capable of multiple attractions. The “one forever” idea is largely cultural. Still, commitment, emotional safety, and avoiding chaos make monogamy work beautifully for many. It’s not unnatural, just not the only natural option.
What would make monogamy “natural?” Being common in the animal kingdom? Is the ideas that we should act more like animals?
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
1 mo
It's meant to be multiple women/wives with one rich in money or resources as well as status, handsome successful man.
The hierarchy goes something like this: rich successful man and then his family and kids, and then his loyal followers who service him and then his women who had to share him. Then relatives. And finally the slaves and soldiers all the way at the bottom.
You might think women didn't have any power back then, but if you look up white feather campaign during war world one a woman can up to a slave male who she didn't like and give him a white feather to send him out to war to fight for her. So yes, they didn't have as much privilege as the rich man, but they had a lot more than the slaves and soldiers.
But because if mordern technology the slaves are no longer needed. Which indirectly liberated them from old responsibilities. Now you see guys giving up their seats on the bus or train. Less guys jumping to protect women. They don't approach the women anymore. And it is seen as acceptable to ignore the cries and needs of a woman. The slave men are no longer criticized for being dismissive towards women.
We should go back to putting the undesirable slave men back to being slaves.
Hmmm... that depends which species we're talking about! A cursory examination revealed to me that: * Out of roughly 5,000 different mammal species, less than 5% are practice any form of monogamy. * Birds however are roughly 90% socially monogamous * Fewer than 30 animal species mate for life * I didn't bother to look up insects!! LOL
For humans: * The estimated rate of monogamy is 66%, while 60% think it's the best form of relationship. * Depending on location and culture, any where from 40% to 65% of men think monogamy is outdated, while 35% to 57% of women think so as well, yet * Also depending on location and culture, anywhere from 55% to 75% of women prefer monogamy! Huh?
Not sure this helps, but it was fun looking up the stats. As I said, it's a very cursory glance.
I’d say somewhere in the middle for the most part. And I don’t think most of us “force” ourselves to stay monogamous, men and women alike. Most of us just feel more comfortable with a monogamous relationship lifestyle. It decreases the risks of nasty STI’s, drama within multiple relationships, child support etc. plus people like to feel their relationship is special and I’d say that’s mostly mutual.
Human pair-bonding evolved because raising large-brained, helpless offspring requires intensive, long-term biparental investment and cooperation from both parents and wider social networks. With a male care about defending and providing for a woman and her child if the child isn't his. This is why being a virgin was so important in the past when it came to marraige in the past, if another man had her before the wedding then there's no way to know who was the father 9 months later. Thats not to say paternity fraud and cheating didn't happen.
Depends on species. By most bird yes, they only switch partners if one of them dies. By Bonobos is monogamy not really a topic. We are like baboons, it's something in between. The alpha male thinks he is the father of all little baboons in a tribe but he is wrong. XD
3
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 mo
I'd say it's MORE natural for women. And i'm not using that as an excuse for men to not be. I'm simply saying men can impregnate a woman and (theoretically speaking) she's indisposed for 9 months (i don't think i have to explain that). Meanwhile a guy CAN (not should) screw a 100 other women. Now since women are not easy, (maybe more today than ever before they're easy. But historically women haven't been) that unwilliness to sleep with just any man keeps the whole thing in check. Biologically speaking to try to pass on the optimal genes.
It's a social construct 100 % going back to hunter gatherers the hunting males had multiple women , so much so the women's periods coincided with each other so they were ready when the males came back , we were never meant to be monogomous.. It's became a religious construct to try and control the society with threats.
Evolution favors a diversity of mates for virtually all animals. If an individual's goal is to propagate their genes, then multiple mates promotes that goal better than a single one. A single mate may have flawed genes leading to an end to both lines. Similarly, a superior mate bringa robust genes that spread more widely.
That said, there are a small number of animals that are monogamous. What's the story behind that?
Relatively natural. The male female sex ratio is pretty even. In the tribal days male death rate was higher so if a guy died his wife was re-asigned of course.
In one tribe an Australian aborigine one man ended up with 27 wives. Polygny was quite natural too
The natural state of the world is that men fight among themselves and the winner gets most of the women. That's why men are bigger than women. Ask the walruses.
Monogamy is a social convention to stop women being able to choose their preferred mate as a way of reducing conflict between men... which frees up able-bodied warriors to beat up on the neighbouring polygamous tribe and with its self-decimated defences.
To answer that question, I would need to remove society, culture from our lives. But I can't see anyone on earth who has not been raised within a society and its cultures...
I guess we would need to observe a very specific type of people in the wilderness, people that don't live in a tribe. Because every time there's a tribe to look at, there's culture involved.
basically my answer is maybe, maybe not, yes, there's a reason for it on such a platform. I also happen to like the "perhaps, perhaps not" variant, once in a while
Why do you think it's "crazy" that the poll is running about 50/50 ? Stats on it are very interesting, including the one where researchers have said they suspect up to 10% of survey participants lie about being monogamous EVEN THOUGH the surveys are completely anonymous. When asked to theorize why this is the case, they said " because spouses ask each other how they answered certain questions, so either they lie on the survey or lie to each other". LOL
It's natural plus a social construct too... For example if i'm allowed to have multiple women, i won't be sad 😂 but i prefer to be with one, i want to love one and only focus on her...
In my opinion a man needs only one woman and a woman needs only one man, when both are united together they become complete, no need for more!
No, but plenty of folk enjoy a half-century or more wedded bliss ala my parents (53 years), my Aunt Francine and Uncle Ronald (56 years) and actors Bonnie Bartlett (age 97) and William Daniels (age 99), who married June 30, NINETEEN-FIFTY-ONE, two years and six days before this HOBC ("Heartthrobby Older Black Cowboy") was born !!!
Across the animal kingdom, true monogamy is actually rare—maybe 5% of mammal species do it—but humans don't look obligately monogamous, and we also don't look promiscuous either. We're somewhere in a messy middle.
Everything is a social construct. Any thing out side of basic survival is just a social or personal preference. The rest is just up to comfort and moralsre-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft
In nature and human history, monogamy isn't a strict black or white binary. Biology gives humans the capacity for monogamy, but culture and social systems are what turned it into a standard expectation.
It is. It occurs in a lot of other species, like birds. It helps improve the survival of the species. Also, one can develop infuriating loyalty to girl.
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
u 1 mo
Anonymous(30-35)1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
m 1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
u 1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
1 mo
Most Helpful Opinions