Do you find it odd and weird that a loving married couple ends their marriage over the loss of a child?

[Finchie40]

I know it’s an experience we can’t control, people die every day , so why do some couples decide to end their relationship or marriage over it? If they truly loved each other , wouldn’t they want to be there for each other through that devastating time? I know everyone grieves differently, why I feel grieving is pretty much a mental issue in most cases , I have witnessed people grieve in crazy ways including myself , so I’m sorry to sound harsh but I still find it odd that a happy couple will end their relationship over it , it’s like they are blaming each other for something out of their control , and to me that isn’t love , that is pure selfishness. When I am in a loving relationship with a girl , she is my top priority over everyone else , and when I lost loved ones , I was happy to have her by my side , but I witnessed people do the complete opposite and push their partner away , which to me seems like they truly didn’t love their partner to begin with , like they use that as an excuse for their selfish actions and behaviors and try to justify it over something that is out of their control. So if you are in a relationship with someone that pushes you away over a loss of a loved one, just know they truly don’t love you, so look at it as they are doing you a favor , because they do not love you. Just because you are hurting over a devastating experience, your partner is hurting as well , so stop making things all about yourself , because by you pushing them away , makes you a selfish asshole in my opinion , Yes everyone grieves differently , so seek therapy for it immediately especially , if you are pushing your loved one away because there is no excuse for your selfish actions and behaviors, you are just a selfish person that needs serious mental help sorry truth hurts doesn’t it

[DishLady]

No, it does sometimes distance the couple to a point that can'e be rectified.

I have known a few couples who were at the brink of divorce because of a miscarriage or loss of a young child. The women needed physical healing time and didn't want to engage their spouse. The men were distraught and trying to be strong for their wife and other kids but was internally going nuts about having lost a child. In one case the woman claimed that since she could not have more children it was her guy's right to leave her and go find someone else to make kids with. (NOT THAT SHE COULDN'T biologically have kids, but that the trauma of losing one was too much for her to try again.)

So it's something we should not judge. It's REAL pain and REAL trauma that individuals have to get through BOTH individually AND ALSO as a couple... even if the final answer is that they can't stay together anymore.

But a good couple will TRY to pull it together and get past the dispairing feelings of loss and depression. It's particularly their obligation if they have other kids to tend to.

I've also seen some couples do odd things like wear necklaces (on themselves and any elder/younger kids) containing the ashes of the child who has passed on. I get it if the parents want to do it, but I would not put that on another young child. It's too much in my opinion.

[Finchie40]

The key words is some couples that actually love each other , sadly a lot of couples have a selfish person that only thinks of themselves as to why so many marriages and relationships do not last these days , Love only comes when 2 people choose each other no matter what happens in life , when one partner chooses to look the other way , they are a selfish person thinking life will be better without the person that chose to stay by their side. Really think about what I am saying? because why be with someone until the end when things like this can easily can occur and pull you apart? Society has become a world of selfish people and that’s why most relationships do not last , if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner , you should never be in a relationship period because you truly only care about yourself , that is not
Love , that is selfishness and sadly you are blowing smoke uo your partners’ as when you telll them you love them because you only truly love yourself , A true loving couple will stand by each others’ side no matter what shit is thrown their way , and not look the other way period. Why I feel social media contributes a big part into peoples’ mindsets of being selfish , yes it’s your life and yes it’s your decision but understand you should be on this planet all alone and not fuck with other peoples’ hearts period , whether you believe in God or not , you will never experience true love period

[DishLady]

These people DID love each other. But there are things that tear at the heart too deeply.

[SphynxUK]

It’s not about love at all; it’s about grief. People experience it in different ways and the loss of a child is not a typical situation. It either unites people or pulls them apart. I know 2 couples this happened to, and both separated eventually. The situation was just too much for both of them to cope with, let alone live with, and the relationship obviously took a back seat. The relationship wasn’t recoverable. It doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other. It meant their priorities and needs changed and they had to put themselves and their own wellbeing first.

[Finchie40]

Which sadly means selfishness

[ohsheeT]

No love is so very powerful in so many ways I could not ever imagine losing my child it would probably be the death of me

I don't know for sure but I can only guess that two people are married they both love their child and the child passes there would be so much anger hurt and pain and if you don't know how to deal with it to bring each other closer to each other then you would blame each other and it would destroy the full family and you could not look into your partner's face because you would see your child and it would just hurt so the best thing to do would be walk away get a divorce and things and try to deal with it yourself

In many marriages it's the child that holds things together
And keeps that world a happy world and civilized world Without Words being exchanged

[OlderAndWiser]

I think the most common scenario is that one parent - more often the mother - feels obligated to devoting the rest of her life to being in never ending mourning, and the other parent eventually wants to move forward. That resulted in accusations that the one parent either really didn’t love the child, or doesn’t understand what the other pattern but is experiencing. I. e., the grieving parent is angry and turns their anger on the other parent.

[sage2021]

It depends if you are speaking of a child up in age, or a baby child.

Sometimes the other parent is too much of a reminder of the child.

They might want to be left alone with their grief and maintaining a loving relationship is just too much for them to keep up with and do it like before they weren't filled with grief.

I don't believe that it means that the other person never loved them to begin with. A tragedy happened and they might feel different about a lot of things and people.

I'd have to say that the person ending the relationship hasn't stopped loving the other person, but needs to be alone in their grief.

Maybe with time they will get back together.

[whosnumber_1]

I have a friend whose son committed suicide and he began a double life of sex addiction. His marriage almost ended. Very close. If it wasn't for him working hard to face is demons and change everything his marriage would be over and quite likely he would have taken his own life.

Walk a few days in someone else's shoes and then see where your opinions lie.

[Smashingdoozy]

Experiencing a loss like that can change people, can also show extreme differences in opinion that they would have never otherwise found out about. Therapy can help the situation but sometimes its just too heartbreaking to carry on.

[Saddlebread]

One might blame the other. I have seen it happen. He blamed her for not being home to keep their son (16) from pulling a reckless stunt (riding on a vehicle hood).

[Finchie40]

Yea I have witnessed that happen as well , blaming their partner for something out of their control. Bottomline we can’t hold someone’s’ hand the whole time in life , Everyone makes their own decisions and choices in life with or without their parent by their side at all times. Sadly a lot of people like to blame others for something that is out of their control , because they are use to not taking any accountability for anything that they do, it’s just easier to point fingers. A friend of mine from High school got into an argument with his Dad while his Dad was driving , he got so mad at his Dad that he decided to jump out of the car while the car was still moving and he ended up smacking his head against a curb and died instantly, the Mom blamed her husband and divorced him over it when it was completely out of their Dad’s hands. Nobody can stop somebody from doing something stupid immediately , bottom line , why people shouldn’t blame anyone for someone else’s’ stupid decisions period

[LazerBean]

I do, but that is one of the few things I will never judge because I can't imagine how hard that must be and what sort of toll it would take on a person.

[MartinKlingac]

I don’t find it weird. Losing a child can create unimaginable grief, and people cope with that pain in very different ways. Sometimes the loss brings a couple closer, and sometimes the grief creates distance they simply can’t overcome.

[Finchie40]

You can cope however you like but understand you are a liar when you told your partner you will be with them no matter what happens in life , which makes you a selfish person for walking the other way , really think about what I am saying , why give yourself to someone that you can easily walk away from ,? Oh because your dick thought it was the right thing to do at that time? But not your heart ,? Selfish people should never be in a relationship period with anyone because
All they care about is themselves until nobody wants their sorry ass because they dug themselves their own grave , so stay there because you are a selfish POS person

[NathanDavis]

quite sure that would not be the only reason... it's never that simple

[RareBreedOfMan]

I find it sad to do such a thing over the loss of a child.

[Abbycado]

That would be odd. You’d think they’d stay together after that.

[Finchie40]

Yea I agree , but I have witnessed couples pushing the other one away like all of a sudden they no longer matter to them when the other is trying to be there for them , why I consider that person selfish person for doing that to their partner that is more than likely hurting as well. Why selfish people should not be in relationships with anyone , because they only care about themselves

[Abbycado]

If anything, I’d think I would want to have my partner in a time like that.

[browsingthroughthe]

You're a good man Finchie - always stand by yourself, as a proud man that you are and have become today, to-date (as in, to the Present ⏰) @Finchie40

[browsingthroughthe]

@Abbycado you are awesome also. Don't forget to enjoy tags 😋😈 enjoy your remaining months of summer 🌞🏝️ up there in ol America

[browsingthroughthe]

Before the Winter lol ☃️❄️

[Abbycado]

We get plenty of good weather late into fall. My dad doesn’t take the boat out of the water until end of October.

Have not been on much. We are up in Canada now in Lake Ontario.

[Finchie40]

@Abbycado you are right next to my brother and all the beautiful hops we grown 😊

[Anonymous]

Maybe one of them blamed the other for the child’s death

[exitseven]

Some people feel responsible for the tragedy and cannot deal with it so they blame their partner. Some people do not want to be reminded of the family that no longer exists.

[Smegskull]

I wouldn't call it odd. I think it's unfortunate but not an unexpected outcome.

[Pterodon]

It was the only reason they were together which is sad

[slatyb]

Since you haven't experienced it, you don't get an opinion.

[Anonymous]

They only stayed together for the common interest of the child

Without the child they have no reason to be together

[ThisSiteSux]

I find it odd a loving couple doesn't end their marriage over over cooked spaghetti. Only a retard gets married in America

[jahaims]

They probably don't know how to cope with trauma like that in healthy ways

[AgentG111]

Nope, completely understand that.

[Kassandra1994]

Not really

[Cidknee]

No, not at all.

[foxsquirrell]

Yes I do.