Do you believe "If he wanted to he would" ?

[Selliebeanz]

Your opinions on that notion in the context of messaging, meeting up, etc.

True

False

[HollyK21]

Definitely believe it in the context of building and maintaining romantic relationships. A guy who’s inconsistent with his efforts or just not matching mine is not someone I’d take serious, because he’s actively showing he isn’t ready or willing to do his part.


That unserious man would likely want me to do all the work, whether it’s carrying or initiating conversations, driving to see him if we were LDR (or in general), it is made very clear that his intentions don’t align with mine. If he wanted to, he would match my effort and I would know I’m not asking too much since I’m willing to do it as well.

[Nikki1989]

A lot of men would want to do something, but simply don't have the balls.

[Selliebeanz]

That sums it up for me 👏

[sawno]

Yes, but to a limited extent. If I want to but can't its not happening of course so it would still not apply. "Sorry I am busy this week" can genuinely be "Sorry I am busy this week" instead of a rejection.

The difference? The followup would be "... but I'd love to hang out with you. I think next week I can make some time, its a bit early to say but lets aim for Saturday the week after" followed by active chat contact.

[Drew-1990]

It is false. Example with hook ups. Trust me I would love to hook up with a random girl and have fun especially with some of the girls that I found extremely attractive and knew they were easy. But I would never actually do it because I don't think hook ups are wise or right. There are other examples I could give.

[Effably]

It is catchy but absolute nonsense.

By the exact same logic if she wanted to he wouldn't need to. If everyone makes that assumption no one will ever do anything.

[spartan55]

This 100% goes both ways though. Women do not get a pass from making effort.

[Anonymous]

Although men do tend to be a little more driven in this respect, and expected to be, I believe men are individuals with all sorts of competing goals, fears, and motivations. Just like you. So you cannot rely on this.

[JHAYES317]

Not necessarily. A lot of guys are socially awkward

[jahaims]

Nah, people can be nervous and flakey even if they want something

[Anonymous]

Nope. As much as I may WANT to I WILL NOT with a woman that does not match my effort.

[Anonymous]

If she deserved it, he would.

[Opinion Owner]

After all the false bullet women have accused men of over the past 10 years, it isn’t worth the hassle to bother, even if we “wanted to”