How important is attraction?

[Cmoreins]

There's a man I met who, so far, lines up with a lot of things I value, but I'm hardly attracted to him. There's a part of me that wants to date around because I haven't dated much because of insecurities. Now that I'm beginning to feel more confident, I want to see if I could find someone who's compatible with values and looks. I saw on reddit someone asking something similar and a mam said it was unfair to the man for this woman to keep dating because it's hurtful knowing someone isn't that attracted to them when they could find someone else who is.

What are your thoughts? I'll be going out on my first date this Thursday to see if there is anything.

[Mr_twoface]

I would say it is half as important as anything else combined when seeking relationship. This whole notion of someone’s inside counts the most, is a good statement, but face it you are the one who must live with that person 24/7. If you are not attracted to someone, in this instance him, you won’t be happy in the relationship, no matter how much positiveness you see in them. That’s unless you live on an abandoned island, far away from civilization or is stationed on the moon.

[RebelinSteel]

Attraction, especially emotional attraction is critical for me, as it’s not going anyplace without it.

[Princesspeach1411]

Yes you need to be attracted, not just physically but mentally and spiritually as well. No point being in love with a guy just because of his looks but then having nothing else going for you both. What was it that attracted you to him when you met? If you are just there for the looks and nothing else, as in you don’t share the same interests and values, then have an honest conversation with him and tell him. Don’t lead him on, that will only hurt him and you in the long run.

[DishLady]

Pretty important… you know any healthy relationships that don’t come into being because of intellectual, spiritual or physical attraction?

[laly520]

attraction is important or else u would find urself putting up a lot with him n it would get u exhausted

[Cheapskate]

If you married this guy and stayed with him, how would you feel at the end of your life?

[Anonymous]

If men didn't build it, no women would feel it although there are exceptions. If this guy is your typical nice guy then I wouldn't bother. It's unlikely he will know how to build attraction.

[krin_m]

Attraction is very important, but it includes more than liking someone's physical appearance. I have met women who are very beautiful (traditionally speaking) but other aspects of their personality made them very unattractive to me.

[BarryLiverstone]

Go on the date and try to be open to things. If you are not into him maybe you don’t go on date 2.


Why don’t you like how he looks?