Making time for relationship?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is friends with a couple and he’d rather spend his time with them drinking than spending it with me. This happens almost every weekend and I’m just really confused. He also said if we have a child together that he would still want to do this. He’s 29 and the couple is 22. I get socializing and having fun together and doing things, but drinking and getting high every weekend for who knows how long isn’t appealing to me.

Any ideas why he’s like this?

[Anonymous]

The answer is simply that there is no good answer that will suffice for you. Why? Because those aren’t the qualities you want in a man. On a personal level if I’d spent time trying to make heads or tails of why my ex-boyfriend had to hop online to game with his friends every evening after work and the majority of his weekends, him saying “it’s fun” or “I’m just trying to catch up with them” would never ever suffice. I don’t want the man who’d rather be online in lobbies with friends than spending some of that time with me. Just as you don’t want a man who’d rather go out drinking every weekend than spend time with you, which is completely fair on your part. Right now you’re in a place where you have to decide if this is what you can live with and potentially marry into. I know sometimes love can make us naive or want to stick it out, but you’ve got to look out for yourself as well and act in your best interest. Dreading the weekends because you know his plans already is not in your best interest, just as arguing with him about his choices is like beating a dead horse. He made it clear that not matter what, even with a baby, he won’t stop. You have to decide if you can live with that.

[Staximus]

It sounds like you're acting like an old lady and won't go hang out and have fun with him and his friends. It also sounds like he needs to grow up and is still stuck in party mode like a college kid. I don't think it's a good idea for you two to have a kid or get married.

[Asker]

I have a child so that’s why I’m acting like an old lady lol. I have hung out with them, but every weekend and if we have kids and live together it’s not for me. I want a family life and yeah see friends but not every weekend.
He’s has a drinking problem too, so them brining drinks doesn’t help. He just gets very angry and depressed after a few drinks.

[Staximus]

You having a kid totally changes things. You don't have time for all that party bullshit and he should be in the same mindset of he wants kids. It sounds like he needs to quit drinking if he's getting angry or depressed.

[Asker]

He has a problem with alcohol and he said he’d change and he’d stop drinking but it’s not happening. Lately he’s been spiralling. He started working a couple months ago and lately he’s calling sick, told his boss off the other day and left work. Today we were supposed to hang out and he called me yelling saying he was going to stay in today. He drank yesterday so I’m guessing he wants to finish his 12 pack. I think I had enough now.

[Staximus]

He sounds like a lightweight that can't handle his liquor. You don't need to deal with his drink bullshit

[mbarsi01]

I have similar problems balancing engineering school and a social life I gave up on dating it’s not physically possible without it burning in flames

[Anonymous]

Word of advice RUN don't walk RUN in the words of Tom hanks RUN FORREST RUN

[moneymagnet24]

Red flag