How do you approach an introvert shy guy?

[shafiya]

[DishLady]

It's funny this question comes up today. I always meet up with my very introverted friend at the start of the week and though he never approaches anyone he's gradually learned to approach me, but I have to flash a big smile and hello to him first and then he's very warm and companionable right after that. He'll chat and make jokes, he'll even be a little playful and hover over my shoulder while I look for something in my purse, which I always find a little funny and tease him about because there's nothing in my purse that could possibly be of interest to him. He's just curious to see what I'm doing.


The shy introverted guy won't ask for what he wants, so it can be a little frustrating to deal with him, but once he warms up to you (perhaps as a friend first because he's petrified to ask for more) there's a nice exchange of stories, teasing and all the sweet traits that show he's a good guy.


Not to compare guys to puppies in a bad or demeaning way, but for those of you who own dogs, you know that when you introduce them to a new person the person has to gently put out a hand for the dog to sniff and figure out if they like the new person or not. You don't just pat or touch the dog, you present your hand in greeting (for those who don't own dogs, google Harry Potter Hippogryph, ok?). Some puppies/dogs make their minds up right away and some are shy and need the person to present their hand every time till they're used to the person. A shy guy needs you to "present" yourself several times in a friendly-but-indirect manner.


A lot of times, because it takes too long to get a shy guy's motor going, girls tend to "friend zone" the shy guy in favor of a guy closer to the "Alpha" spectrum who knows how to sweep the girl off her feet, do the whole sweet talking thing, etc. etc. But in truth… if you're patient enough for the shy guy to open up to you, there's so much you'll love about him.


FAIR WARNING: Some shy guys have Hulk-like tendencies, which means they can hold back their feelings till they're about to pop and then let the floodgates open on you when you least expect it. You have to keep an eye on the shy guy and understand his cues so you don't end up having to deal with the nasty maelstrom.

[bobalife]

I mean I talk to anyone generally with common courtesy and friendliness in social settings lol. I usually like bringing shy people out of their shell and help them vibe with the crowd to have fun.

[bobalife]

I must be sleepy as I misread and respond to this wrong lol. But generally I say hi and just chat about what’s around us, the event we are at, what he’s doing, and get to know him in a friendly way lol. It’s just a normal conversation haha.

[BIZARRE_TRUTH]

guys are dying for a woman to come up and talk to them.

so just the fact that you go up to them and talk to them is enough to lead to marriage if they find you attractive. its literally that simple.

thats why men resent women a lot i think is that women have all the control, they can easily just yell and scream and say "he's touching me inappropriately" and you could be the guys sister and other people will jsut come running to your aid. women have a social advantage when it comes to selecting mates unless the man is disproportionately rich or attractive. in most cases the woman have the control. so when men find women are not coming up to talk to them, the women they have been eyeing, they tend to get offended and think the women are stupid because they either 1: think they are too good for him, hence not talking to him, or 2: too stupid to know they have the power

so dont be stupid, and dont think you're better

just see him as an equal and go up to him and talk to him

you could literally say "hey i want to talk to you but you seem shy so i dont know what to say to you"
or you could just say "hey"
or you could ask them to lunch/dinner etc
ask them if they have a girlfriend
ask them if they think you're cute
al you have to do is take a step

a woman that makes the first move is extremely attractive if they are not slutty

[RazeDeBar]

It depends on a lot of things. If you're just interested in him "as a friend," you're likely going to have to fight through weeks (or months or years) of him wanting a dating/sexual relationship before you can truly be (just) friends. Be absolutely certain you are not inadvertently flirting (your definition and his definition of "flirting" can be vastly different). Maybe ask him what church he attends.

If you're interested in a romantic relationship, humor often works. A (f) friend of mine would pull out a cheesy pickup line, walk right up, throw it at him, and see what happened. If he's not interested, you have the "just kidding" escape maneuver available to you.

"How YOU doin'?" "What's your sign?" "Come here often?" works best when it's way over the top, like when you're at his house.

Whatever you do, don't be subtle. Guys (especially those hopped up on hormones) need very clear instructions and BOUNDARIES. Even when you do everything right, it may take a long time to push a guy into the Friend Zone.

[b_lova]

Find out what he likes and engage in his interests.

You wouldn't believe how talkative introverts can be if discussing their interests. But once we start talking you must show genuine interest or we turtle up and stop talking.

If you can prove yourself trustworthy in that introverts will pretty soon become very intimate with you. You see shy people don't talk because they are afraid to trust. If you can bring down the trust wall they will flood you with everything they wish they could talk about.

Good Luck

[Purpleronnie]

In my opinion “shy guys” are just in their own head a lot , they are generally the over-thinkers so maybe the best way to approach them is by using situations that are as natural as possible assuming the opportunity arises. The situations less confrontational should make them feel more relaxed / less awkward. Conversations maybe directed towards what’s going on generally rather than personal at first may help too.

[legman528]

I consider myself an introvert. But it is pretty easy to get me out of my shell by tapping into my interests. So, like others have said, find out his interests and talk about something that will draw him out.

[OtterMan68]

Try to find out what he's interested in and ask him a question about it. If you don't know much about his interests, compliment him about somethng- an article of clothing, a watch, his eyes, his hair, etc.

[SotiCoto]

I don't. Why would I want to do that?
I don't even approach introvert shy girls either, because I am also introverted and I know talking to strangers is exhausting... but also because the shy kind of introverted is weak and cowardly.

[Sugar100]

I’m shy and I approached my crush who is also shy but I still have no boyfriend as we got seperated after 3 days and we lost contact as we got fired and never exchanged numbers.

[TheSpectre]

Knock on his head and ask,
Hello? Earth to (shy guy's name) ! Do you copy?

Joke and then be yourself. Works everytime. :)

[laly520]

just like any other guy

keep being nice n friendly n most importantly dont push em to talk more

[BarryLiverstone]

Ask him to help you with something. Guys like to be the hero so when you approach figure out how he can help you in the moment

[Ms_Facesitter]

As if it's a baby bunny that sees me for the first time.

[ProbablyClueless]

Just smile and say "hi." Nothing more complicated than that.

[Twalli]

Just talk to him. You may have to initiate all the conversations, but generally introverts can participate in conversations, just not initiate them.

[OddBeMe]

Carefully. No fast movements.

Also, snacks help.

[Abhinav03]

I also want to know as shy person myself.

They will be more than happy if you approach and speak

[FunkyMonkee]

Just walk up to him, sit with him and talk to him.

[jack1924]

Maybe try to talk to them

[mayurr]

Don't know.
None approached till now.

[dustybiker2]

Lure him.

[serious_miss419]

You don’t lol

[Anonymous]

Shocking question